the pressure | jack avery ✓

nine

blaire
a/n: lots of swearing 🤷🏻‍♀️.

"uh- can you put a shirt on?" i blush. i couldn't concentrate on what i came for with him stuffing his top half undressed.

his eyes widened, "yea- sorry- uh be right back!"

i smiled as he ran back up the stairs from the dining room where we were seated.

i was going to apologize for yesterday and me walking out that way. over-exaggerating was my thing.

" 'm back." he runs to his chair in front of me. "so, what's up?"

"i wanted to apologize, for yesterday." i played with my fingers, avoiding eye contact. "these years, with my dad, being gone, they have been hard. but i feel like i made a big deal about it and a lot of mistakes."

"blaire, a loss like that can affect you, and i understand." he smiled.

"it affects you, yes. but i-i shouldn't have dropped out of school and ruined everything because of it." i said.

"you weren't thinking." he said. "sometimes when you loose someone, you think the worst things will make it better."

i looked up at him, "i could have been getting ready to graduate."

"you still can get ready!" he reached over for my hand, placing his on top of mine.

"i'm starting homeschool." i looked at our hands, he cleared his throat and removed his hand.

"really?"

"yea, i'm starting today with corbs." i smiled.

"that's great."

i got up, "well, i just came to apologize."

he got up as well, walking me to his front door, " good luck with school blaire."

"thanks." i walked out but turned around again, "do you wanna join me and corbyn later?"

he nodded and smiled.

"cool"i nodded my head, turned around and started walking to corbyns house.

walking home i was just thinking. thinking about how things might turn out better, how i might not have steal anything. how i have corbyn who means the absolute world to me. and how jack might become something more, someone who i might care about, a lot.

"i'm home!" i open the apartment door only to be welcomed by my mom passed out on the couch.i stand behind the couch. "mom"

i shake her, seeing she isn't waking up. i looked around the couch to see a needle.

no.

"mom!"i yell.nothing. i check her pulse, nothing. "mom, this isn't funny!"

her body moves only when i shake it, "cant you wake up lacie!"

"i said wake up!" i felt tears fill my eyes. i walk over to in front of my couch, taking my shaky hand and calling corbyn.

"hey b." he says.

"corbyn." i breathe out, tears running down my cheeks. "i need you, right here now, please."

"deep breathes babe." he says, behind him i could hear noises. "what happened?"

"my mom, s-she won't w-wake u-up corbs" i sob. "t-there's a-a needle n-next to her."

" a what?"

"a fucking needle corbyn!"i shout, getting angry. "there's a f-fucking needle and i have   n-no fucking clue what it is! c-can you just       f-fucking come! please!"

"i'm on my way" he mumbles something away from the phone. "call an ambulance."

"o-okay" i hang up and call nine one-one. i tell them everything. they tell me to calm down so i just hang up. the last thing i could do was calm down.

"i cant have you gone too." i shake my mother, hoping she would shoot up alive. "what the fuck were you thinking?"

her mouth was open, with no breathing she was just laying there. probably drunk and high.

the ambulance came before corbyn and took her into the truck, telling me to stay behind. they left and i stayed home. i kicked the couch, anything i saw around me.

"fuck!" i yell, as loud as i could. i threw anything around me, glass shattered everywhere, things thrown. anything i saw i destroyed.

i collapsed on the floor, sobbing. i heard the door open and running come to me, and then arms wrap around me.

"oh baby." i hear corbyn say. i hug him tightly, never wanting to let go.

"w-why me?"i sob. everything was going right, for once.

"i don't know my girl." he whispers kissing my head, i look behind him and see daniel. i realize what i did.

"i-i'm so sorry corbyn." i let go and look at his confused expression.

"for what?" tears were in his eyes as he caressed my cheek.

"for interrupting your day with daniel." i turn my head.

"hey," he turns my head back. "you're way more important."

"i j-just don't understand why they think drugs will fucking solve the problem!" i shout, he wraps his arms around me to control me.

"blaire, deep breathes."

"no more f-fucking deep breathes corbyn!i stand up from the floor. "i'm sick of them doing this! they're both gone! gone! i was having a great day. going back to school after years. maybe stopping from being a fucking thief in years! everything was going fine! and t-then she decides that drugs can make it fucking better?!"

"blaire. you can't blame her. you know she has had these problems for long." he stands up. "you're not alone."

"i think it's best if i am." i whisper. "i'm sorry for calling. i called for no reason i just want to be alone.im so sorry."

"it's okay." he smiles and grabs daniels hand. "call me when you're ready to talk, yeah?"

i nod and wipe my eyes. he walks out and shuts the door.

i yell. i shouted from the top of my lungs until i ran out of the apartment, not caring about the door being open or closed. i just ran. ran outside wherever my legs took me. into the woods and up a hilltop. i stopped on top. and just thought about everything.

everything was ruined once again.