Are You Happy ☑︎ (Min Yoongi Fanfiction)

Chapter 9

"Your father will have to be taking these pills everyday now. I would prefer every night because it can cause a person to get a little drowsy," the doctor instructs as I look down and read the label of Antidepressants.

I let go of the breath I didn't know I was holding and I stand from my chair to leave.

"Thank you," I say before getting a firm grip on the doctors hand and shaking it.

"I hope things get better," the doctor looks genuinely worried, and I keep my smile on for that, but the situation going on in my head makes my smile shake.

I feel it. The happiness. It's all fading away.

I need someone by my side. Someone I can trust. Someone... who seems to know.

•••

After returning from the doctor's office and giving my dad his proscribed medication, I get myself prepared to head to school.

It's easy for me to prepare for school. I only have to wash my face and change. I don't brush my hair because it's naturally straight and doesn't have any tangles due to the fact that I have a habit of running my hands through my hair without noticing when I do it, and I don't use any makeup. Mom used to say that makeup is what hides the true you from the world and that everyone is beautiful with or without makeup.

Thinking about her as I look into the mirror to dress into the school uniform, I feel something warm dampen a side of my face, running down my cheek and leaving a temporary stain on my skirt.

I look back up to my reflection and clear away the leftover residue of my single tear and I walk out of the room with a smile on my face to show my dad.

As I get downstairs and toast a pop tart in the toaster, I freeze, looking at my father's lifeless form staring off in a distance. His eyes are red and puffy, but it seems like he has no more tears to shed. My smile falters and I hear a bell come from the toaster and the pop tart pops out as a crisp-brown color. I take a brief glance at it and feel my stomach drop, no longer having an appetite.

I place the pop tart on a plate and settle the plate on the coffee table directly infront of my dad.

His eyes don't move from its far-away view and I heave a sigh.

"Eat when you can," I nudge the plate closer to him, but he doesn't even flinch at the new sound of porcelain moving against wood.

I take my leave from the tense atmosphere and walk towards my school, despite the fact that the bell is not about to ring for an hour and a half.

I anticipate for the person I need to see to come as I take the stairs to the rooftop, sitting on the dead-edge of the roof, dangling my legs off the thee story building. I attempt to release my emotions but no tears are being produced at the time I let them be. All that can be heard are the antagonizing screams I express as I smack my fist against my chest, feeling suffocated by my own heart.

At the pause of me heavily breathing, I hear the door open behind me and the person I have been waiting for is taking his approach.

"What's wrong," I hear him say and back hug me against his chest, his grip is firm, as if once he lets go, I would plunge down the building and free-fall my way through the eternal pits or Tartarus.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," I continue to repeat, annoying myself with the desperate sound coming out from me. The vulnerability is eating me up alive as I turn my body to face Yoongi's. Still no tears, but I keep my head straight at it's sight of the cemented floors.

"Why?" Is all he says, tilting my chin up to get me to connect my view with his dark brown eyes. Those eyes say a lot. The emotions of strength, the emotions of pain, and the emotions of grief. Though I don't know the story behind those eyes, I know that I trust them enough to seek help though them.

"I'm not happy, Yoongi. I've failed. I'm worthless. Dad. Dad is not happy. He's on the brink. He- he can- he- he-," I'm not able to continue with the sentence due to my stutters but Yoongi seems to be able to get the message as he sits beside me and places my head to lean on his shoulder.

Caressing my hair, he wraps his arms around my shoulder, holding me close to his broader figure. His cologne smells of musk, and I tuck my nose into his hair, whiffing the refreshing scent of Pantene.

"You know you'll always have me. I'll try to make you happy. You just have to stay beside me, okay?" He gently says, extending his hand towards me, the pinky of his right hand reaching mine. Our fingers wrap around each other's and I close my eyes, waiting for the hour to pass so school can take its toll.