➴mirage / / taelice

sixteen; goodbyes

LISA
September 21, 2017 › 3:21 PM

It's been six days since I read that gruesome article about me and Jungkook. Through those days, Chaeyoung has been avoiding me for some unknown reason.

That article has been already deleted a day after it was published but I'm sure some have gotten a copy of it. Now, it's inevitable if a stranger would attack me all of a sudden.

But despite of that, I still kept attending my classes no matter how much people throw hate at me. In fact, yesterday, I received a note saying that I should die. I could only sigh at that memory.

Jungkook— I have no idea what happened to him lately. He didn't even bother trying to reach out. The same goes for Taehyung who I considered as a friend.

Maybe more than that.

On a side note, BTS just made their comeback. It was a bop. Everyone was streaming the music video except me and perhaps Chaeyoung too. I can't bring myself to do so after all of the incidents that happened.

I shook my head to brush off other distractions and continued doing my homework. I finished my classes a couple hours ago and my boss made me rest from work for a while.

As I was writing down answers, my phone suddenly rang. An unknown number popped up on the screen, making my heart beat as fast as it could. I assumed it's one of those sasaengs however, this one's a first.

I answered the phone, "H-hello?"

"Lisa," a calm deep voice responded. I dropped my pen just by hearing the voice I've been longing for.

Indeed, it was Kim Taehyung.

My throat suddenly felt like choking, I couldn't answer back immediately.

"You called," I spoke softly as tear rolled down my cheek.

He chuckled which made me smile. "Of course," he retorted. "I'm sorry it took me a while to call you," he started explaining, "our manager confiscated our phones except for Namjoon hyung."

"It's okay," I reassured and my heart was relieved but mixed with a sad emotion.

"Can I meet you now?" he asked.

"Are you even allowed?" I sighed, turning my swivel chair.

He giggled, "No." "But that can't stop me," he added, making my heart flutter a bit.

I snickered at him, curious of what he had in mind. "Just make sure we won't get caught," I demanded.

I want to see him because I have one question to ask.

"Let's meet up at the library," he stated and I agreed to his invitation.

On my way to the library, I was confused on whether I should feel happy that I'm going to see him or sad once I hear his answer to my question.

Moments later, I arrived outside the library. I stood frozen and hesitated if I should go in or not. Trying to calm myself, I gushed out a breath of air before going in.

As usual, there weren't many people in this library as it is very hidden. I roamed my eyes around the place and saw a figure of a guy resting his head on the table.

I'm sure it's Taehyung.

Slowly, I approached him and realized his eyes were closed. Perhaps he fell asleep while waiting for me.

I grabbed a seat that was nearby and sat beside him, resting my head while facing at him. I gazed at him deeply, filled with love.

Love. But what if he doesn't love me back and only sees me as another fan?

A few minutes had gone by and he finally brought his eyes to open. I promptly sat up straight and cleared my throat in nervousness.

"You're here," he remarked as he rested his back on the wooden chair. He lowered his mask and plastered a grin on his face.

I gently nodded as a response.

"How are you?" he asked, looking at me intently.

I shyly hung my head and replied, "Fine."

For minutes, we both stayed silent. I didn't have the courage to speak with him as if nothing happened. Probably he had a few things to say to me but his mouth couldn't open. The same goes for me.

I remembered all the things we did together back when everything was normal; when there was only him and me. Whenver I was with Taehyung, I assumed to myself that he likes more than just a fun but then again I still ponder to myself if it was just one of his fan services and if he has done this to other ARMYs.

"Have you seen the music video?" he asked, breaking the awkward silence.

"Yes," I retorted. "Congrats."

He looked at me with an anxious face. "Are you sick?" he asked, touching my forehead.

I held his hand and put it down gently. "No," I chuckled.

"Lisa, why are you avoiding me?" he asked with a stern voice.

I looked at him with a blank expression. "I'm not," I responded firmly.

"Yes, you are," he opposed and chuckled sarcastically, "You think I didn't feel it? I'm not that stupid."

With the feeling of guilt, I immediately hung my head down and stared at the floor. I tried not to make him that way but maybe I can't help myself. All along I thought if I avoid Taehyung, my mere feelings for him would vanish but it turned out otherwise.

"Let me ask you one thing," I said, closing my eyes to gather courage.

"What?" he interrogated, gazing into my eyes deeply.

I did the same, to make him feel how serious I am, asking him this question. "Do you like me?" I asked.

He was left with a puzzled expression. "Of course!" he exclaimed without hesitation.

"As what? Like a fan?" I added.

His face frowned and didn't reply immediately.

Here it comes.

"Y-yes," he replied, with his eyes closed.

Just as I thought. Good job, Lisa.

I forced a smile at him and faked a laugh. "Okay. I'll go ahead. I have homework to do," I lied.

Without hearing another word coming from his mouth, I ran back to the dorm with tears continuously flowing down my cheeks and my heart shattered into tiny pieces. As soon as I got back in my room, I cried my heart out as much as I can.

There was never a him and me.

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A/N: update update update! I don't know but I don't like this chap lmao it was poorly written, i admit.