Story Bazaar

War Is Idiotic?

Ben and Paul were still at it, after many hours, over many days; and, way too many cups of coffee...

Already today, the owner of the cafe had to come to their table three times, cautioning them to be a bit less vociferous in their conversation...

They really tried to control themselves; and, when the owner came up the fourth time, they both nodded to him, stood up, and left the cafe.

Nowhere else to go but the city park---the children would be screaming and nobody could complain.

They sat on the west bank of the lake, well away from the clusters of kids, and renewed their argument...

"Paul, I want to go back to that point about the highland wars..."

"Shoot..."

"So... The two communities were trained to hate each other; and---"

"Wait! Trained...?"

"Sure, social training---the leaders of the two main tribes brainwashed the kids and, when they grew up, they threw them at each other."

"But, you make it sound all planned; and, anyway, how do you know that's how it happened?"

"Extrapolation..."

"Huh?"

"O.K., consider two sports teams---they have to be well trained to actually go on the field and batter each other---sustain injuries that can have lifelong repercussions..."

"O.K. But, sports and war are pretty far apart..."

"Only in the end results---sports tends to have less killed---war maximizes killing..."

"Hmmm..."

"Come on, admit it, I've got a point!"

"Yeah, a blunt point..."

"Really? You think you have a better way of accounting for war?

"Like I said, too many times already---it just happens when things need to change..."

"I cannot--- just happens...?"

"Yeah..."

"Nothing just happens!"

"Everything just happens!"

"Bullshit! You're an idiot!"

They both stood up and Ben began shoving Paul into the lake; but, Paul had a grip on Ben's belt buckle and he followed Paul in.

They proceeded to punch each other silly as they drifted toward the deepest part...

They started ripping each other clothes and Paul gouged out one of Ben's eyes, while Ben was applying maximum pressure to Paul's crotch...

The kids kept screaming their mindless delights---the mothers and fathers watched their children and chatted---Paul and Ben continued their conflict...

No one seemed to notice the outcome of the Ben-Paul War...

It took a few hours before two lovers, strolling around the lake, found the floating bodies...

~~~~~~~~~

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