Holding You Down

Almost

12

'The one time I feel like I have something or someone good in my life it leaves me. It breaks my heart and leaves me.' -Nique

Monique

I got out the shower, lotioned up, then got dressed.

I shot Michael a quick text telling him to pick up some wings and rice for dinner since I was getting kinda hungry.

He didn't text back.

:

Michael didn't come home last night at all. He hasn't been answering my calls or texts either.

I'm really starting to get worried.

I texted Diane and Jayce asking them if they've seen or heard from Michael but they didn't reply. I'm just gonna have to stop by to see wassup.

15 Minutes later I pulled up to Diane and Jayce's spot.

I knocked on the door for like ten minutes straight before their neighbor came out of his apartment and basically cursed me out for "causing a scene" so early in the morning.

When he was done I asked him if he'd seen Diane or Jayce lately.

"Yesterday 'round 3 was the last time I saw em. Now get goin', people tryna sleep 'round here!" He said shooing me away.

Yesterday around three?

That was when we got back from the restaurant. When they all claimed they "Had something to do."

Confused is the perfect word to describe me right now.

I got back in my car and just sat there for a second. Finally I decided that they might be at the trap so I made my way there.

When I pulled up it looked like something I've only seen in movies. The whole place was burnt down. It was barely recognizable.

I got out the car and walked over to the scene shocked.

"Excuse me ma'am we're gonna need you to step back." One of the fire fighters said backing me up.

"What happened here?" I asked.

"There was a fire." He answered simply.

I gave him a stale face then spoke again.

"Really? I didn't notice! What I meant is who started it? How did it happen?" I got distracted by the paramedics bringing out two body bags.

"Who is that?" I added starting to tear up.

"Ma'am I really don't know anymore than you do right now. Can you please back up."

I just decided to get in my car and leave before people started asking me questions.

That night I watched the news to see about the report. When it finally came on they said that they were still looking into it but they identified two bodies. When they announced the names I lost it.

Ced AND Roscoe? I thought to myself.

I laughed a little.

"Nah. Ced isn't gone. He's right over at his house. These people made a mistake." I said to myself. "And Michael probably just somewhere on his way back right now."

I got up to go get my charger off my dresser since my phone was dead. My dresser was messy as hell so I had to search for it a little.

I came across a piece of paper with writing on it so I decided to read it.

Monique,

If you're reading this you've probably noticed that I'm not there.

I'm not coming back either.

Me, Keith, Jayce, and Diane are gone and we're not coming back. What you think you know about us isn't true. I'm not gonna confess everything to you cause the less you know the better. Just know that I'm sorry and my intentions weren't to hurt you. I never meant to hurt you. You can't go back to the trap either. You gotta get outa all that. I wasn't supposed to get close to anyone down there but I got close to you and I care about you. Even though we'll probably never see each other again just know that I miss you and I won't forget you.

Michael

After reading that I was broken. I completely lost it.

I started throwing stuff, breaking shit, crying, yelling at no one in particular. Just a full out temper tantrum.

I blacked out after a while.

:

Can you tell me

How can one miss what she's never had?

How could I reminisce when there is no past?

How could I have memories of being happy with you boy?

Could someone tell me how can this be

How could my mind pull up incidents

Recall dates and times that never happened

How could we celebrate a love that's to late

And how could I really mean the words I'm bout to say

I missed the times that we almost shared

I miss the love that was almost there

I miss the times that we use to kiss

At least in my dreams

Just let me take my time and reminisce

I miss the times that we never had

What happened to us we were almost there

Whoever said it's impossible to miss when you never had

Never almost had you - Almost x Tamia

The past few days I've just been siting in the corner crying.

The one time I feel like I have something or someone good in my life it leaves me. It breaks my heart and leaves me.

That's when it hit me.

Michael didn't break my heart. My mom didn't break it either.

It was already broken.

My father broke my heart before any nigga could. When he said he would be there for me then left his family for another woman he broke it.

So nah.

Michael ain't do shit but step on the pieces.

I have no love for these niggas. All they do is lie and have you out here looking stupid.

At the end of the day, I'm the only one down for me. I'm on my own team, I'm my own r.o.d (Ride or die).

And for me to be over here crying over a nigga who played me?

Nah. I need to pick my head up, my crown is falling.

I remembered my dream from earlier, what the other me said.

'You're going to be okay. Everything is going to be okay.'

...

I split the chapter. This is not it trust me.

I'm gonna post the second part right after this one.

If you were confused by the lyrics it was the song Almost by Tamia. Goes perfectly with this chapter.

Vote and comment.

-Dream2Reality ❤