❝When I'm around slow dancing in the dark, don't follow me you'll end up in my arms.❞
『 homecoming - post 』
『 the extraordinary series 』
『 cover by binbarnes 』
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◤ chapter twenty-three: ❛ hot and cold ❜ ◢
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AS THRILLING AS LIFE HAD BEEN LATELY, TONI MISSED THE MONOTONY OF STAYING HOLED UP IN HER ROOM HAD BEEN. Her thoughts, the ever-growing feeling to fuck up her life yet again, and the tears that sometimes fell down her cheeks on too cold of nights. This, mixed in with the warm apple pie Finn brought her, and the long phone calls with Sabrina while the girl studied, and the lonely decay she always felt looking around.
There was so much, yet so little.
Her life had been a rush, a pick up, going back up a hill on a rollercoaster, slowly and steady, not yet at the peak. She was on the uphill climb, not quite at the peak, but she didn't want the peak. She remembered the Ferris Wheel with Atlas, looking at the night sky, and the bright colorful lights down below, smile on her face – she was high up, she was peaking, and after the peak came the fall. The downward spiral, but she didn't want that.
She wanted to keep going up, forever and ever, and never reach the peak – never go back down. She wanted the wonderful decay of loneliness to take over her soul before she went down again, but those hollow days weren't for her. She didn't want to ruin her life again, she wanted to build it up, and keep building.
Static noise filled the air of her room as she laid upon her bed, looking at the ceiling. Harry was next to her, and he was quiet, chest rising and falling again and again, silent. Their hands were intertwined, as they often were, Toni loving the comfort of him there with her. His were always so soft, and a little too warm, but she enjoyed it.
Nothing was happening here, yet everything was happening. The world wasn't ending, but it was growing, and she felt a weight on her chest but she also felt free. It was a mess, because she felt so terribly alive with him there, though all they were doing was laying down, but she also felt numb. It was late, and her eyes drooped just a little, and she felt stiff but also loose, and he didn't say anything either.
Maybe she should, maybe she should say something, but nothing felt right. She didn't want to ruin this – it was too beautiful and delicate for her. With closed eyes, she enjoyed the feeling. The pulsing comfort of his hand, his steady breathing, the murmur of a TV in another room. She felt utterly safe, and she could let go, allowing herself to droop and just enjoy this. Revel in it, stay, and never leave.
His thumb started to draw circles into her hand, and for a second she jumped, not expecting it, then relaxing again. It felt nice. Everything about this was nice.
"Toni?" his voice was low, a little rough, and utterly comforting. She never knew a voice could make her feel like everything was right in the world, but his did.
