✔︎ | Gold Digger

Chapter 18 - He Is Me

Chapter 18 – He Is Me

After Ryker and I are finished eating at Johnny's Diner, we put our coats back on, say goodbye to Vincent and other people working there, and walk back out to Ryker's car. He doesn't say much when we get in, just mumbles a few words about making another stop. I don't really care where we go, as long as I get to be with Ryker for a little longer, so I just smile and click my seatbelt on.

We drive down the streets of Almont for a few minutes before one of us says something. Ryker's eyes flicker over at me, focusing on me for a few seconds and then looking back at the road. I look over at him when he looks away, and without looking at me again he mumbles, "I don't know anything about you, Jessie."

I nod. "I could be a murderer."

Ryker laughs, "You probably are. But, seriously, tell me something about you. I literally told you my deepest, darkest secrets and opened myself up to you, which was really hard," he finally looks over and furrows his eyebrows, "by the way. Now tell me about you Jessie, come on."

I sigh, shrugging. "There's not much to tell, Ryker. Honestly." I hate lying to him, but I can't tell him that I was sexually abused, and I hate my mom because I blame her, and yet I still love her and I'm going to go back to her. Ryker has been through so much and I don't want him to worry about me. I'll carry this burden by myself just like I have been for eight years, and Ryker will not want to be with me if he knows I'm a rape victim.

"Come on. Really?"

"Yes," I say, rather annoyed. "What do you want to know; my favorite color or something? It's purple, alright?" I look away and glare out of the window in frustration. This wasn't the type of reaction to Ryker's question I wanted to have. "My favorite color is purple."

Ryker lets out an exasperated sigh. "Jessie, what the hell?" He looks over at me again, but I refuse to look back at him. My eyes can't meet his without feeling way too guilty for lying to the one that just told me all of his secrets. "I told you everything. I wasn't expecting anything in return, but I thought you would trust me! And you wont even tell me your favorite fucking color!"

Ryker doesn't even seem mad, surprisingly, just really disappointed that I'm not opening up to him. I furrow my eyebrows. "I told you my favorite color. It's purple." I don't know what else to say. I can't tell him about me. Everything I want to be next is everything I am not.

Ryker shakes his head and we pull into a parking lot in front of a small shop. He turns off the car gets out, walking over to my side and opening the door for me. I get out quietly and Ryker lightly slams the door behind me, not letting me walk past him. He takes my hands in his and smiles. "Jessie," he says, "your favorite color is green, and if you don't want to tell me anything yet, you don't have to."

"I'm sorry," I apologize, gazing into Ryker's hazel eyes. "I'm not ready yet."

He nods. "Okay. But if you wait too long to be ready, you may never be. Just remember that." I nod, and look over at the shop we stopped by to see what other adventures Ryker and I are having today. I gasp. "A tattoo parlor? What are we doing here?"

Ryker laughs. "I'm buying a pet elephant!" My eyes widen and I look back up into Ryker's. He stops laughing, and raises his eyebrows. "What else would I be doing at a tattoo parlor?"

I smile cheekily. "Dah, I didn't mean it that way. So we're getting tattoos?"

Ryker returns my grin. "No, I'm getting a tattoo. My friend told me about this place and said that if I ever wanted to get a tatt, I should come here. He's covered in them, and they look pretty good." He sighs. "Man, the poor guy's still locked up though." I raise my eyebrows, wondering why he mentioned that. Ryker just laughs again. "He was arrested, never mind that. Maybe we can go on an adventure to see him in prison after I get my tattoo."