The Secret Affair (Kellin Quinn/Sleeping With Sirens)

Chapter 4 - Don't Leave Me Today

4:25 AM

Kellin's POV

That phone call was all it took. Katelyn and I were only being friendly for Copeland. But what the person on the other end of the call said, made me forget about everything. About the threatened divorce, Copeland crying softly, me prepping for Warped. All it took was a simple statement to turn everything around. What might this sentence be?

Brooklyn Mackenzie and several other victims have just been discovered at the sight of a tragic crash. Only Brooklyn and a younger girl survived.

Why Brook? What did she do? Nothing. Not as far as I know. She was an angel, she didn't mean to wreck Katelyn and I's relationship.

"I-I'll be right there!" I hung up without further conversation. I broke down and dropped the phone. She couldn't be leaving me. Not today. I pulled myself together, grabbed the keys, and bolted out of the tour bus. There was no car to take, so I settled for jogging. I made it to the local hospital in record time, not caring whether the paps were catching photos or evidence. As I approached the automatic doors, they opened.

"Excuse me? I'm looking for Brooklyn Mackenzie?" I kept my cool, asking a preppy woman at the front desk.

"Right down that hall, take a the first right, then thrid door on you left." Her gum smacked with each word.

"THANKS!" I tossed over my shoulder as I took her directions. I stopped right outside her room. Going in here...it meant facing her. Facing the girl who ran. The girl who made me cheat. Who changed me. Yet, I wasn't over her. The first time I met her, I knew life wouldn't go back to the way it was. And it never did, I was right. She was the one I let get away. If she gave me a simple chance to change her mind that night, I would have never let her just slip through my fingers, like sand. Maybe if I hadn't met her, she wouldn't be on her death bed. She wouldn't be fading away. So now it was my fault..? No, it can't be. Or can it? I was confused, and chose to just be here for her. As I sat down in a chair only feet away from her, I felt numb. And lost. What did I have to lose? Evey thing. What did she have to lose? Nothing. Yet, she was here, on her death bed, after trying so hard to stay away from me. I remembered how, on the way out the door, I grabbed the letter. The letter she wrote to us. To me. To her mom. To Abby. Her goodbye letter, saying she would be gone. My hands flew to my pocket, rippig out the crinkled, torn, old, piece of paper with stained and faded ink. Her cursive writing, the type you would think is impossible to see. Perfection, to be simple and short. As I read the letter over and over, my cover of Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls came to mind. She loved that song, and was in the studio when I recorded it. That smile lit up the room, the whole band loved her, almost more than Katelynn. Which is hard to believe, they were the ones who encouraged me to get down on one knee in front of Kate. Would my mind have changed if I met Brooklyn first?

Brooklyn would have walked down the aisle in all white, been the one saying 'I do' and not here, suffering.

Damn it! Why did I always reminisce on things like this?!

My brain argued for no reason. I don't know if this is the first time I realised it, but I am crazy. Insane. I lost my mind the minute I made Brooke mine secretly. Even if it was kept between us only, it was nice to hold her, know I was the one to make comforting late-night calls to her. At this moment, no matter how much I loved Copeland and Katelynn, Brooke was the closest to heaven I was getting. And letting her be the one who got away was the worst mistake I had ever made. My throat constricted, and right now I didn't want the world to see me, they just might never understand. Brooke was the exception, the one who made my mind lose all control.

And I'd give up forever to touch you.......

I would. I would give up all I had.

And all I can breathe is your life....

If any life is left in here, than it's true.

All I can taste is this moment

This might be the last moment with such a woman, and I let the air tickle the tip of my tongue, without realising it. Her scent was so easily found. I slumped my back against the chair, spaced out, and stared off. I could only imagine the blank expression I held on my face. Memories were not stop. I just watched as our love story zipped by my eyelids, with Ed Sheeran's song 'Kiss Me' playing ever so softly in the background. This song was true to, I wanted her to kiss me like she wanted to be loved, and by me at the most. I felt like a chess piece, and Life was the game of chess. I had no control. None at all, and that was why I was here, with a girl who held my heart. The two songs took turns ringing through my ears, and I wished they were replaced by the scary, eerie silence that filled this hospital room. Along with the annoyingly clean scents that came along. I only smelt the things I would when holding her, kissing her, teasing her. Loving her. I fell for those beautiful, striking eyes before they even knew me. Before they spent so many moments boring into mine, with her forehead against mine. It wasn't just the feelings she gave me, it was the sparks and tingles she left. The pain that replaced all that pleasure. I got out of the disturbingly hopeless state I had been in, and glanced once more at the letter. The paragraph she wrote for me had the most tears surrounding it. Old ones, from her eyes and mine. I only noticed wetness coming from my eyes and rolling down my cheek because new spots appeared. I took the shakiest breath I have ever gone through, and read the letter, taking in each word she wrote.

Kellin; This is goodbye. I messed up big time. I am sorry I fell in love with you, and I am sorry I just ruined everything you worked for. I want you to stay on the Warped Tour each and every year, and forget me. Forget 'us' ever happened. So one of us will leave a fair life. I know you must hate me now, and I won't be keeping contact. How could I? I just really fucked up this time. You have no clue. Why did you choose me? How? You were the only exception. Always have been, always will be. I will never stop loving you Kellin Quinn.

What ran through her mind while writing this? How could she say it was her fault? It wasn't anyone's. We share it. All of this brought back any cursed sensations I gathered from her before. But the last lines left the most unusual shivers. The type you get when you are just so sure you are in love.

You were the only exception. Always have been, always will be. I will never stop loving you Kellin Quinn.

I was the only exception. The only exception to her laws of love. And she would never stop loving me. Even if she was sorry she did in the first place, she wouldn't be like other assholes, she never would fight she loved someone. Just like me, I always spoke to Rob, saying I wasn't over her. We weren't good liars. How do you feel everything? I have. I know it because I have had feelings from hate to love. Fromm love to lust. From lust to truth. All those meant something, correct me if I'm wrong. But I don't see anyone correcting me. Brooke didn't have a clue that I had things sort of things running through my maniac head.  At that moment a nurse came in.

"You know...We found a small slip of paper when we found her....it was in her guitar case..." She gingerly gave me the torn, burned note. It read: No more words, no more lies. Let it go before it dies. Hear the words, hear the pain. The las of love ends in vain. Sweet in start, bitter in end. Hearts will break, NEVER BEND.  It was about us, no doubts needed. At this moment, I wanted to read Brooke like an open book, and get her hands tangled in my hair again. I wanted to commit the perfect crime all over again. I steal her heart, she steals mine. It truly was Love's Only Exception.

Thanks to Gloria I got off my lazy bum and finished! This is another crap chapter. :( I hate writing such short ones. Anyone like the sweet quote? I give credit to Google for giving me such a nice quote :D This is one of the VERY FEW Kellin's POVS unless you guys really want more. I didn't fully edit, so forgive any mistakes. Only spelling as far as i know is good. Do you like it? I hope you do :3 I want this short and simple because I want you to have a majority of writing, not an author note. xD Well, lovelies, COMMENT/VOTE/FAN!! :) Spread the word please!! I hope you enjoy the songs as much as I do c:

Playlist:

Iris - Sleeping With Sirens (In sidebar)

Kiss Me - Ed Sheeran (External Link)