The Secret Affair (Kellin Quinn/Sleeping With Sirens)

Chapter 25 - Rejection At It's Lowest

A/N: WOAH. SHORT CHAPTER. But yeah :) You must all hate me by now Dx And I actually decided to delete a chapter, this one was supposed to be named "Searching For Her" and Kellin was going to go through this all....and then i WAS going to put in a chapter Kellin considered suicide and actually does attempt it but is stopped by, none other than, Harmony. But I decided not too. Though, that even DID happen, I am just not writing it. :o Yeah. ALSO. THIS STORY IS GOING TO BE IN THE WATY AWARDS!! Would you guys vote for it? o.o Yah, but NOT UNTIL THE LAST THREE CHAPTERS ARE UP. Okay, enjoy <3 And hopefully later on tonight the chapter 26 will be up. Goodbye lovelies. <3

Kellin's P.O.V

 I felt hopeless, dead. No one told me she'd be gone forever. I still cried myself to sleep, but I was still searching. Just like today, I was surfing the web on my laptop, trying to find her.

"Kellin, why the hell are you still trying? She's gone!" Justin sighed. Almost everyone was fed up with attempts. Except Harmony. We went through this before. And we knew where this might have to lead.

"You don't get it! Harmony does! She knows what the fuck happened last time, she knows why I'm so scared! WHY I'M SO DETERMINED! I loved her..." I snapped.

"So this useless cause is all we have to hope for?!" Everyone had been on high ends since the disappearance. Especially Harmony and I. So why was this fight a surprise?

"She's out there! I know she is! And I have to find her!" I began to sob with sorrow. Why her? Why did she leave again?

"Where in the hell would she go?" And it all clicked.

"New York." The easiest place to hide. She could blend in with the crowd. I instantly typed away at my laptop, searching for famous females in New York. One had bursted right from the screen.

The Broken Angel - Famous Prostitute of New York

Her picture. Everything about it was familiar. No matter her hair now being blonde, and being so much more thin and pale. It was Brooke.

"This is why..........." I whimpered, turning away in disgrace and pain. Not her. She wouldn't do this.

"No. Brooke.............No" Justin shook is head. None of us would want to believe it. But there was the prood, Brooke had changed. I had only one thing to try, to chase her down and figure out where the hell we are heading for. Are we ever engaged anymore?

"I have to find her. I will." My voice held determination as my emotions were flooded with numbness and pain. And with those words, I began to book a trip to New York.

-----------2 weeks later......-----------------

I stood at the airport, remembering my last words to Harmony.

I'll find her, I swear. And I'll do everything possible to get her back.

Would I be able to get her back? If I couldn't, how would we move on? She was my strongest love and Harmony's closest friend. I continued walking to baggage claim, ready to find Brooklyn Ashley Mackenzie. The girl who's driven me mad from day one. Seeing my bulky, black suitcase, I lifted it off the moving belt and made a beeline to the exit. No need to be recognized. As I stepped out into the sweet night, my thoughts swirled around her. If you asked me to summarize out story, I'd tell you it was........dark. And bipolar. One minute, perfection, happiness. The next minute, heart beat, even. contained sadness and loss. Realizing no cabs were running, I began walking. I guess it is good I had keen hearing, because I heard someone murmering about something............and then I heard a video. A girl singing. An all to familiar angel, strumming and sending a chilling melody through words.

"We were once perfect, me and you. We'll never leave this room. Hu-hu-hush! You color my eyes red! Your loves not live it's dead. This letter's written itself inside out again..."

I  blrinked away the gathering moisture in my eyes. Maybe love was foolish. If you fall in love, you lose everything. Nothing matters. You just............throw your life away to keep that one person for forever. Just like I was doing. Just like Brooke had attempted. But her past wouldn't let her. I guess her heart always had different plans for us. The rest of the song, "Hush" by Automatic Loveletter, rang through my mind like a ball bouncing off walls. Was it coincidence? That she sang a song like that? Was it for us?

To many questions. To much pain.

"Excuse me? Sir? Do you need a ride?" A cab had stopped on the corner and the driver offered me a ride.

"Erm, yeah. To the nearest hotel....do you know how much that'd be?"  I sighed, the cool air chilling around me. It was already December, December 23rd to be exact.

"Don't worry about it, you can have a free ride. Just don't let any of 'em know I did this for yee." His accent now shone and I trudged over to the yellow car, throwing my luggage in the back and hopping into the back seat. I sat there in silence, fumbling around on my phone. Until I recieved a new message. One that changed everything.

Goodbye Kellin. I really loved you, but I can't do this anymore. So............I made a video for you. xx

It was from Brooke. I had in headphones and click on the video that was attached. Brooke was sitting on bed, with a big white t-shirt on, no make up, and her hair in a knotted mess. But she was still as beautiful as the last day I saw her.

"Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye my love. I can't hide, can't hide...Can't hide what has come. I have to go, I have to go, I have to go, and leave you alone. But always know, always know, always know..........That I love you so. I love you so." She sang accapella. At the end, she held up a piece of paper saying: Don't try and find me. I'm already gone.

"I'm serious Kellin, don't. I'm gone forever............in a way that hurts the most." Her sweet melody of a voice chimed and then the screen went blank.

In what way was she gone? Why did she make one last contact with me.....

My heart stopped. My eyes watered. My throat worked improperly. My lungs gave in. Everything stopped. This moment, I realized what she meant. Why i wouldn't see her again. Why she was giving up. She was commiting suicide, and she needed me, wanted me, to know she loved me. But she thought I didn't remember. If only she kenw.............

"We're here," The driver announced. I got out, got my things, checked in to the hotel. Everything. All that time thinking about her.. I was losing her, for good? No. I had to stop her. I can't lose the love of my life. And I fell asleep that night, a pain in my chest, and shaking through my weeps of numbness.