Match-Made For You

| T W E N T Y - O N E | Big Spoon.

| T W E N T Y -  O N E | Big Spoon.

"I talked to your teachers, they said you can make up whatever you miss when you feel up to it, no rush." 

I nod at Alona, thanking her without my words. I wiped the tears from my face again with the back of my hand, cursing myself for crying once again. I almost hadn't stopped crying for almost two weeks now, and opted against ever crawling out of my bed again, dreading the pity looks that would be thrown my way.

She joined me on the bed, falling over my body with a sigh of defeat.

"Have you slept at all?" She asks, turning onto her stomach to face me.

I shake my head slowly. I had been having nightmares ever since I left the hospital, and the comfort of Myles' arms wrapped around me every night. I always felt Reece around me. His arms, his lips, his hits. Almost all of my bruises went away, the only thing left were a couple cuts on my cheeks.

She reaches up to stroke my hair, "I'm sorry, Ly. It'll get better, I promise."

I smile at her, nodding my head at her words. "Thanks, Lona. I know."

"Has Myles been around lately?" She asks, hope creeping into her voice. 

"Yeah, he should be coming any minute now." I bring the covers up higher around me, "You guys don't have to stay here with me, you know. I can be by myself now."

She scoffs, "Try telling Myles that. He is hell bent on giving you around the clock care."

I roll my eyes, "I'm okay." I insist, "Not great, or even fine, but I'm as okay as I can get right now."

"Okay..." she thinks to herself for a moment, "If you say so, then okay. But I still think you should talk to someone about what happened. Whether it's me, or Myles, other survivors of rape, or even a therapist, I could care less, but you can't just keep crying by yourself," she gestures to me and my bed, "or having panic attacks whenever Myles kisses you, or continuing to be okay with waking up screaming every night. I mean, I'll be there for you whenever, through whatever, and Myles sure as hell will, too."

I open my mouth to respond, when a knock interrupts me. My mouth closes again. Alona was right, I should talk about what happened. I was going to, I just, couldn't talk about it with her, I didn't want her view of me to change.

She waves to me when Myles walks through the door, letting the door close gently after she slips out. 

He crosses the room in four strides, planting a firm kiss on my lips before kicking off his shoes and ditching his shirt to join me under the covers.

"How are you today?" He asks, pulling me closer to him.

"I'm--" I stop myself, thinking back to what Alona had just told me. About how I needed to talk to someone about what had happened to me. The last two weeks I had said almost nothing about what I had went through--how traumatized I was--and truth be told, I needed to tell my best friends about this.

I shake my head "I'm horrible." 

I sit up, looking at Myles as he thinks to himself, "What's wrong?" He asks, worry and confusion clear on his face.

"It's-" I take a shaky breath, "I know I keep saying I'm okay, but I'm not. I'm not okay with what happened to me. I'm not okay with the fact that I keep beating myself up over him, he doesn't deserve that. I hate myself for trusting him to bring me to him. I hate that he kissed me--hit me, touched me. I can still feel him, see him, hear him. It's so damn frustrating.

"He ruined my life, and I hate him for that." I wipe the tears that threaten to spill over quickly, "He left me with bruises, and scars, both mentally and physically. I'm glad that he's in jail-- but truthfully, he deserves much worse than that."

Myles shakes his head, "I wish I could go back, save you from ever having to go through that. The thought of him kissing you--touching you like he did, sends me over the edge, and I hate it."The memories flood my brain, making me cringe from the feel of his hands around my throat and arms.

I rub at a sore spot on my wrist, "I'm sorry, how are you doing?" I ask, "You know, with your parents...and now this...?" I gesture to myself with my hands, and adjust my self so I sit on his lap.

"I'm okay. I've learned how to deal with it. I mean, I'm not over it completely, but I'm okay." His hands grip my waist possessively, "Let's not focus on me, though."

I smile down at him as he sits up. "Well, I don't want to focus on me neither, so what will we do?"

He kisses my shoulders, leaving a trail of light kisses going up to my jaw, "We should..." he kisses the corner of my mouth slowly, "go to sleep." 

He pushes me off his lap, and lie down in the bed, pulling my covers over him and leaving me stranded. "Oh, you dumb tease." I join him under the covers.

"You love me though." 

I shrug my shoulders, "Eh, after this I don't know..."

"It's fine, I have enough love to go around." He slaps my thigh playfully, but leaves his hand resting there.

"What if I don't want your love?" I ask.

He plants a kiss on my mouth, "This if forever." He mumbles against my lips, kissing me once more before turning over and closing his eyes.

I slip my arm around his waist, pulling him closer to me, "I'm the big spoon."