Transparent: A Divergent FanFiction (Book One) ©

Chapter 31

                This wasn’t happening, this wasn’t happening. I lurched back, her words hitting me harder than any blow I could’ve ever physically received. I opened my mouth and then shut it, what could I even say? How was this possible?

                “But… I mean…“ I couldn’t even form a full sentence.

                After a pause, my mother continued on shakily. “I hoped, I prayed, it was a cruel joke, but then four days later we got another letter. It said –He has quite an aim, just like his father,” were they talking about my shooting? My mom continued. “Then another that said –I see he’s not afraid of heights or dangerous speeds. That could be dangerous.” Was that a hint at the rollercoaster fiasco?

                I squeezed my eyes shut, willing it all to be a cruel nightmare and not a reality. I heard my mother shift, and then her arms were around me, safe and consoling. I couldn’t move, didn’t want her to leave. No longer was I Sage, the intimidating initiate from candor who was already being head-hunted by Max, I wasn’t the impressive individual my friends thought me to be, I wasn’t the fearless first jumper everyone knew me as, no– I was Sage, the stupidly frightened little boy who wanted to forget all of this and hide in his mother’s arms.

                I was scared, no, I was terrified. Not because someone knew what I was, not because my secret was floating around in an uncertain abyss, not because at any moment I could die, but because the threat hadn’t been made at me. It had been directed at my family. My family.

               I could handle someone blackmailing me; I knew how to defend myself. I would fight until the end, and die happily if it meant my loved ones would remain unharmed. But this, this was a low blow. How could I defend them when the laws of society divided us so sharply? They were at home, alone and unarmed, and I was here. It was cruel, and unfair, and it all was just too much.

                Then, like an act of magic, a switch seemed to flip in my head. All the fear and uncertainty, the raw terror and feeing of impotence began to transform. I would not let this happen. I would not stand idly by while innocents suffered for my faults.

                I would not be the weakling that allowed injustices to go on when I had the power to do something. True, I was afraid, but I would not grant my fear the power to influence how I acted. I would face whoever I had to if it meant my family would be safe, no matter the cost to my own health. I didn’t know who was doing this, but I would definitely find out, and then I’d stop them or die trying; because death and pain would always be better than cowardice and inaction.

                I pulled away and squared my shoulders. “Okay, I’m leaving dauntless.”

                “What?” My mom hissed, grabbing my arm and pulling me back.

                “I’m going home, I won’t let you and Mara get hurt because of me.” I explained. I didn’t really want to leave dauntless, to be factionless and shunned from society, but my future didn’t matter at the moment.

                “Stop this, stop right now.” She whispered angrily when I tried to move. “Stop, breathe, and think. What you’re saying is crazy.”

                “It would be even more crazy to leave you two unprotected.” I made to move again, but as I took a step I saw my mother shift to block me.

                “Sage Stronghold, you listen to me this instant.” She said in a tone that meant business. “Now listen closely, because I won’t say this again. You. Are. Not. Leaving. Dauntless.”