Silence

Chapter 12

          It was obviously Benyamin and he was following me. I told Davina to wait and that I'd talk to him. But then I see he's with his family.

"Josie do you still have feelings for Benyamin is that why you're in denial?" Davina asks and I think about it.

We walked into American Eagle Outfitters so I could find some new tops. What I wanted to tell Davina and myself was I didn't give two shits about Benyamin. But apart of me would get back with him in an instant.

"I hate him and he can burn in hell" I say and she hands me her stuff so she could try on some clothes.

I grab a few more things that I find cute and then proceed to checkout. Davina pays for herself and then we go to find gifts for Lena.

"Martin said she likes coloring books and cookies" I inform Davina and she buys a box of different cookies. I buy her some coloring books and these funny sunglasses.

Davina's mom meets us up in the front and then drops us off at the birthday party. She tells us she's going to see a movie and she'd see us later.

Her mom was only 36 and she was carefree and fun. She had short light brown hair and blue eyes. I asked Davina about her dad and what he's like.

She told me that he got bullied in middle school for being too skinny so in high school he started working out.

She told me there was this big college love triangle her and Davina's dad and this other girl. She showed up her wedding ring and told me that Davina's dad made the right decision. I laughed she seemed like those moms that are planning their kid's first drink party.

She drops us off at a playground and a lot of seniors were there. I see Lena running around walking a big big purple birthday hat.

"Guys thank for coming and your idea was genius everyone this is Josie" he says and a bunch of seniors look at me.

They all clap and then someone walks over to me. A woman who's probably late thirties or early forties. She looks exactly like Lena so I'm guessing her mom was thanking me.

"Thank You so much I couldn't figure out any ideas and this was all last minute." She says and hugs me and I smile and she smiles at Davina.

Davina was awkwardly standing there receiving looks. I walked over to her and told her that we should put our gifts on the gift table.

"JoJo" Lena says and runs and gives me a hug.

"Happy Birthday Lele" I say.

"It's only cool when it do it" she says and pokes me.

After an hour or two of party games I needed to sit down. Davina was talking to these senior girls about service projects. So I had time to check my phone and see what was up. Lucy and Yasmin asked if I was busy tonight and wanted to hangout.

Ryan sent me this cute paragraph while Issac sent me pictures of cute guys. I opened Instagram and looked at Dylan's page. It was empty.

He was following this page that had sad quotes.

Quotes were one of my favorite things in the world other than cheap gas station food.

I went back to the party and we sung happy birthday and cut the cake and gave Lena her gifts. She smiled and smashed her cake onto Martin. He picked her up and then swung her around.

"Josie my mom is waiting do you have all your stuff" Davina says and I nod and her mom drops me off home.

I'm ready to take a shower and head to bed when I get a call from Stasia.

"Josie oh my god I'm freaking out I'm over at Drew's house and I was looking for a bathroom and walked in on Dylan and he has cuts all over his arms." She says and begins to yell into the phone saying stuff like should she tell Drew.

"Stasia those could be old cause he's been talking to Dale. I'm pretty sure Dale is like some guidance or therapist for him". I say and she begins to calm down.

Not that I didn't care about Dylan and him self harming himself. It just seemed like he had it under control.

"Even though I'm into Drew and like him Dylan does have a good body. Drew told me that they workout regularly to stay healthy" she says and I try to imagine Dylan without his long sleeves or sweatshirts.

"I ship him and Issac" I say and she laughs and tells me she gotta go.

The next morning I got up praised the lord ate food took a nap then I texted Davina and the girls.

We all were going to the pool today even though it's fall and the weather is getting cooler. Stasia had plans with Dylan and Issac and said I could join but I told her another time.

I had to find the best bathing suit that still fit me. I had gained some weight after eating ice cream for breakfast at Ella's.

I wore a gray two piece bathing suit with my favorite tan flip flops.

"Josie you're feeling better sweetie?" my mom asked and I smiled and gave her a hug.

"Happier and now I don't have to deal with Benyamin no more I'm cutting him out of my life" I say and he laughs and helps me tie up the back of my bathing suit.

"Find a guy who makes you smile" she says and gets her car keys. It made me realize how much I missed Ryan. He made me feel safe and protected.

           My mom drops me off at the neighborhood pool. I see Davina and Lucy and my mom tells me not to do something stupid and then drives off.

But it's a Sunday afternoon and I'm going to be with my friends at the pool what's the worst that could happen.