Silence

Chapter 49

I felt his cold eyes on me as I pushed past him and walked up to Stasia who was on her phone and when I came over to here she noticed the worried look on my face.

"What's wrong?" She asks me and I sit down next to her on the couch.

"He's here" I say and she's confused.

"He who? Benyamin?" She asks.

"Yes he's fucking here!" I exclaim and she tells me to take a deep breath and breathe and I do as she says and then I'm worried. What if Benyamin tries to hurt Ryan because he and I dated I couldn't let him do that to Ryan. He still meant a lot to me despite the breakup and everything he did.

"Josie if Benyamin was going to do something he would've already maybe he's just here to be at a party people do that all the time" she tells me and it makes me feel some what better.

"I'm sorry I made a big deal about it" I tell her and she tells me it's okay and we sit and talk for a bit.

"Where's Dylan?" She asks me and I try to think of the last place I saw him and then go to look for him. She and I looked for him and Isaac and we found them upstairs and Dylan was helping Isaac throw up.

"What should we do with him" Dylan asks and I try to think of a place in the house no one will go in.

"I'm fine guys I just ate a bad chicken" Isaac said but not sounding sure and then Stasia told us that Drew was looking for her and left to go find him. It just left me and Dylan and Isaac which was awkward considering Isaac was throwing up everything he had in him.

"Just let me lay down in here for a bit in peace" he said and closed the door. It was just Dylan and I now to make things awkward.

"Josie I love you" he tells me.

"Dylan I love you too" I say and then he kisses me and picks me up and lays me on the bed. He takes off his shirt and begins to kiss me all over my body as I pull his hair and then he helps me take off my shirt as he gets on the bed with him. We keep kissing and it feels right and he looks at me.

"I'm ready" I tell him and he then looks at me weird.

"Josie" he says and I'm confused.

"Josie" Dylan says to me and I'm back in reality.

"Yes" I say.

"I was trying to ask you if you wanted me to get you something to drink" he says and I nod and he smiles and happily goes downstairs to get me something.

As I walked around the room I couldn't help but feel bad for Ryan his parents were never home which affected him. Maybe he needed a father figure in his life to straighten out his shit and he would've have broken my heart.

Lately I've been believing in the idea of second chances and forgiveness and I think that's what I needed to give Ryan.

"Hey Josie" Scott says walking into the room without a shirt and he looked confused and drunk.

"Um hey Scott what do you want"

"I want you to forgive Ryan or at least try to I know him well enough to know that he's miserable cause of what he did and he feels really bad for breaking your heart" he tells me and I don't know what to do or say.

"If he really felt that way he would be here talking to me not you" I say and go to check on Isaac.

"You made him happy" he says and then sighed and left the room.

"Are you feeling better?" I asked Isaac as I opened the door and he was all cleaned up and sitting on the counter. He looked upset though and it was questionable to explain but I sat next to him.

"Hey what's wrong?" I ask him and he puts his head on my shoulder.

"Sometimes I just wonder what's the meaning of life like what's the point of it" he says.

"Where's this all coming from?" I ask he and put my hand on his shoulder.

"What if I never find someone who loves me as much as I love them" he tells me and hides his face.

"We're only 15 we still got tell and when you meet the person you love don't let it go" I say and give him a hug.

"You should tell him" he says and I think about it.

"Maybe" I say and then we both get up and walk back to the party I had no clue where Dylan was and it was worrisome.

           A bunch and of my old friends were having fun and were juuling and vaping and it reminded me of the first time I ever tried it back in 8th grade. I missed being reckless and slapping guys that hurt me.

"Hey sorry I held up trying to get you a drink a bunch of people got in my way and these two girls started making out and everyone started cheering for them" Dylan said as he handed me punch.

"I'm just glad you're okay" I say as I give him a hug.

"I mean I met this girl who's made me feel okay" he tells me and I felt moved.

He grabs me and kisses my head and I hold onto to him.