kaitlynn rose // h.s

drunken thoughts

By the time Erin returned from her date with Liam, Harry was long gone. I stayed up to talk to Erin a little, but I eventually got too tired to stay up any longer. I woke up around nine this morning and have been in bed doing homework and watching Netflix pretty much all day. Around one, Erin forces me to get dressed and head to the dining hall with her. When I get back to the dorm, I decide to take a quick shower. I felt much more awake when I sat back down to do homework. Liam comes to pick Erin up around three and they head out to the mall for some reason I didn't quite catch.

When dinner time approaches, I head down to the dining hall again. Nothing looks very appetizing, so I decide to walk off campus to grab something to eat. It was past seven thirty as I walked into a little deli not too far from campus, so I'm not surprised that it's kind of empty. Apparently some people eat dinner around five or six. Can't relate.

Once I'm done eating, I decide to walk around a little bit more. It felt nice to be out of the dorm room. There was one day last year that I spent the entirety of my day - from waking up to falling asleep - in my room and when I woke up the next day I felt like I was going to suffocate if I didn't go out on a walk.

Going for walks is one of the things I started doing more when my mom passed. It started as a way to escape the world (meaning: escape the people asking if I was okay or not). As I started doing it more, I realized how much it helps my anxiety and my mental health overall.

It starts to get dark enough that I head back to campus. I had my keys sticking out in between my fingers, a habit my dad taught me for when I'm walking alone.

My phone buzzes in my pocket as I near campus and I pull it out, stepping to the side to check it. I have two new messages from Harry.

Kaiitlynm yu shoud comee

gooooood song

I've never been so confused by a text. Was Harry drunk? As I go to type a response, his caller ID pops up on my screen. I hit answer immediately.

"Hello?"

"KAITLYNN! Is that youuuuu?"

I can hear loud music and a lot of talking in the background. I'm concerned that he's calling me.

"Harry, do you know where you are?"

"Mhm!"

I can't help but laugh. "Can you tell me where you are?"

"Club," he slurs. "That starry one. You comin' ta party?"

I look around, trying to remember which way I need to go. I knew what club he was talking about; there's a club not far from his house that has stars on the sign and along the building. "Stay where you are, alright? I'll be right there."

I quicken my pace, worried that he may be too drunk to think straight. I wonder what made him go out to drink in the first place.

When I get to the club, I pull my (fake) ID out and show it to the bouncer. He nods his head and doesn't say a word as he steps aside to let me in. I'm pretty sure he wasn't worried about me, considering I'm probably one of the few people that's ever walked into this club in a sweatshirt and ripped jeans. I go over to the bar first, thinking that he might be there. My assumption is correct. He sees me the same time I see him and I watch with amusement as his eyes light up.

"Kaitlynnnnn!"

I sigh as he wraps his arms around me, falling against me as he hugs me. "How about we head home, alright?"

He looks at me with a cute pout. His hair is a mess, his forehead is shining with sweat, and his cheeks are rosy. Seeing him so flustered and cute was breathtaking.

"Way to be a mood killer," he slurs.

I take his arm, leading him towards the door despite his protests. When I get to the parking lot, I glance around for his car. I'm surprised it's here, but I'm glad because it means I don't have to drag his drunk ass around for blocks. I reach into his pocket, grabbing his keys. Once I get him in the car, I rush to the driver side. I've never been around him while he's drunk before, so I'm slightly worried that he's the type to throw up. I want to get him home as soon as I can. Thankfully, the drive isn't even three minutes. I can't help but wonder what on earth he was thinking by driving to the club. If he was planning on drinking as much as he has, he would have wrecked his car and could have ended up seriously hurt or dead. I push the thought to the back of my mind as I try to get him inside his house.

It seems like it takes ages, but I eventually get him up to his room. I help him out of his clothes and into bed before going downstairs. I grab some painkillers and a water to leave for him to wake up to. I set them on the nightstand and go to leave, but his hands grab at my arm.

"Stay," he croaks, the word coming out as a slur. "Please?"

I sigh, nodding my head. It felt wrong to leave him like this. I change into one of his tees and slip into the bed next to him. Before I get too comfortable, I text Erin to tell her where I am and that I won't be back. As soon as my phone is on the nightstand, his arms are pulling me into him.

"I hate myself," he slurs quietly. "Had one drink. Couldn't stop thinking about you. Drank more. Now we're here."

Couldn't stop thinking about you.

"Go to sleep, Harry," I whisper, moving his hair out of his face. He looked so sad. I didn't like seeing him like this.

"Do you hate me?"

"No," I shake my head. "Far from it."

I wait until he falls asleep before getting comfortable and falling asleep as well.

I'm woken up at four in the morning by the sound of Harry throwing up in the bathroom. What a lovely way to wake up...

I grab the glass of water and stumble into the bathroom once the sound of him throwing up comes to a stop. He's laid on the floor, his hands on his stomach. I walk over to him and kneel down next to him.

"Hey, here's some water," I mumble quietly. "Did you take the painkillers already? They weren't there."

"S'what I just threw up," he groans. He sits up and I push his hair back out of his face, running my fingers down the side of his face as he opens his eyes and looks over at me. "Fuck, I'm so sorry Kaitlynn. I never meant-"

"It's okay," I interrupt him. "Why don't you clean up and come back to bed? You're not going to feel better laying on the bathroom floor."

He looks heartbroken. I could tell he was beating himself for putting me through this, but I didn't mind at all. Honestly, this was distracting me from what he said to me drunkenly.

"I don't deserve you," he mumbles.

"Shut up. Brush your teeth. I'll be in bed," I tell him as I stand. "Too early for your bullshit. You deserve everything good you have and more."

I watch as he stumbles into the bedroom a few minutes later. As he lays back down, his hands immediately find my waist. He rests his head on my chest and curves his body against mine.

"I'm so sorry," he mumbles again.

"Why are you sorry? You have nothing to be sorry about."

"I'm sorry I got drunk, and I'm sorry I dragged you into it. I'm sorry I've made you into a babysitter instead of a friend."

"Stop worrying so much," I run my fingers through his hair again. His curls were a mess, but they were so soft that it was soothing to run my hands through them. "I don't mind taking care of you. I know you'd do the same for me."

He kisses my cheek before he pulls the blanket over us. "Thank you, Kait. I'm glad you're in my life."