kaitlynn rose // h.s

don't be stupid

from: Harry

Yesterday 10:36pm

Hiiii. Haven't heard from you all day. I'm sure you're asleep though... call me in the morning?

from: Harry

Today 11:18am

My class gets out at 12. Lunch today? Call me. x

Today 12:05pm

Your class gets out at 12:30 right?

//

"Uh, Kait?"

I jump and spin around. Harry is leaning against the side of the building. I'd been shuffling through my bag and walked right past him.

"Oh. Hey. What are you doing here?"

"Well," he stands up straight and takes my book from my hand so I can balance out my bag. He looks really irritated. "I've texted you and called you multiple times and I haven't heard from you in about two days. Making sure you're still alive and also wondering why you're ignoring me."

"Shit. I swear I'm not ignoring you on purpose," I sigh. I finally give up on trying to find my headphones and phone and drop my bag to the ground. "I don't even know if my phone is even on right now. I think it's lost at the bottom of my bag. If it wasn't for Erin, I wouldn't have even gotten out of bed this morning. I'm so frazzled right now. Sorry."

"Kait," he sighs and leans back against the wall again. "What's going on this time?"

"It's just the usual stuff, but I have a lot of papers to revise for the writing center. One of the English classes has a huge project and they're all in need of help, apparently."

He hands me my book back and I kneel down to put it back in my bag.

"Why... I don't..." he sighs again. I glance up at him and he rubs his temples as his eyes flutter shut. "Kait, this has to stop."

I stand up and look at him with confusion. "What does? What are you talking about?"

"I've barely seen you since your birthday, which was two weeks ago. You've barely talked to me since your birthday. I don't want to seem clingy babe, but this has been happening the entire time we've been together. Every few weeks you just fall off the edge of the Earth."

"Harry-"

"Don't tell me that you're sorry," he stops me. "You say that every time we have this conversation. But... every time you apologize and every time you say you'll try harder to communicate with me... I stop believing it. Nothing has ever changed."

"Listen... I hear what you're saying and I really am sorry. But I have to go meet with my advisor and Angela before one... are you free tonight? I can come over after my last class at like at three? We can order some take out and talk?"

Harry nods and reaches for my hand. "Okay. I love you."

"I love you too. I'll see you later."

I give him a quick kiss before grabbing my bag and rushing off. My meeting was all the way across campus in the advisor's office building and I had about twenty minutes to get there and get the meeting done with. Thankfully I get there quickly and we all talk for about ten minutes before I have to go all the way back across campus for my next class.

Once my class gets out, I find Harry waiting outside my class again. I wander over to him and wrap my arms around his waist.

"Hey," he mutters and kisses the top of my head. "You ready?"

I nod. We stop by my dorm so I can get some stuff for overnight and for class tomorrow. When we get to his house, Harry takes my overnight bag while I grab my school bag. He winds his hand with mine and leads me into the house. I take my stuff upstairs and then head back down to the living room, finding Harry relaxed on the couch. As I sit down next to him, a sigh falls from my lips.

"Hi," I mutter. "So. I don't really know where to start."

"Well, want to start with why you feel so scared to tell me when you're stressing out? I really can't wrap my head around the fact that you're not comfortable with telling me these things at this point in our relationship."

All of the stress that has built up over the last week boils over and I feel tears well up in my eyes. "Fuck," I mutter. "I told myself I wouldn't cry."

Harry scoots closer to me and pulls me onto his lap. I hide my face against his neck for a second and take a few deep breaths. I sit up and wrap my arms around his shoulders, clasping my hands behind his neck.

"Okay. So... like. For most of my life, I've relied on me. Only me. I've never been in a position where there's another person that's involved with what I'm doing and what is going on, other than when I was in therapy which even then was only once a week. When I'm getting stressed and falling into my little world of working, I sometimes forget that I need to fill you in on stuff."

"Promise me it's just school and work and that you're not keeping something else from me?"

"Promise," I nod. "I really am sorry, Harry. I'm sorry that I caused this."

"It's okay," he mutters. "It's just... when you don't respond and when you fall away, it's hard for me to know if it's just you being busy or if it's you... falling away from me completely."

"Harry," his name falls from my mouth in a whisper. "Don't be stupid. You mean so much to me. I know I have my moments of getting wrapped up in things and sometimes I accidentally ignore you, but I don't see myself ever falling away from you. I love you."

"I love you too, Kaitlynn Rose. I'm sorry I got so upset."

"It's okay. You had every right to be upset with me for unintentionally ignoring you."

I lean forward and press my lips to his. He wraps his arms tighter around me and smiles as he pulls away. His hands rub my sides and I lean into him.

"Hey, what did you have to talk to Angela and your advisor about today?"

"Uh, Angela is trying to set me up with an internship for one of my semesters next year. I'm ahead on credits so she's trying to make sure everything lines up right for me to be able to do it."

"What is the internship?"

"A publishing company. She has an in there and thinks I'd be perfect for it."

Harry smiles. "Huh. Angela really loves you. What did you do to her?"

I scoff and smack his chest lightly. "I didn't do anything! I'm just really amazing."

Harry laughs as I flip my hair over my shoulder with sass. He reaches forward and kisses my temple.

"You really are, love. I'm proud of you. The fact that she's giving you so many opportunities really is amazing. Now, how about we order a shit ton of takeout, drink way too much wine for a school night, maybe have some super incredible sex," he mutters under his breath. "And then crash on my couch?"

"I like how you muttered the sex part like that makes it any less crude," I laugh. "I also like how you said 'maybe' like there's any chance that it's not going to happen after we drink wine together."

"Gotta keep it somewhat exciting and surprising, my love."

"If we're doing what we always do then how is it-

Harry reaches up and covers my mouth with his hand. "Shut up, Kait. I'm not ready to accept the fact that we're a boring old couple just quite yet."