Help Me Remember (COMPLETED)

Chapter 12 Part 2

Cheers to for the next chapter!

Chapter 12 Part 2

Triggers

"General Dissociative Amnesia?" I stared at her blankly.

Mara was suddenly serious, "Yes, it's my educated guess if you may. You failed to fit into other categories and this is my most probable bet."

I frowned, "What does that mean?"

Mara paused for a second, "General Dissociative Amnesia is the mind's protective measure that blocks out certain things from a person's memories to protect his metal health. And in your case it's your whole life."

She wasn't making any sense, "The mind's protective measure?"

Blocking out my whole life is a protective measure?

"What I mean is that your amnesia is caused by emotional distress due to traumatic event or events in your life and it must have threatened your mental well-being and that's why your mind had you forget them," Mara was carefully observing my reaction.

I thought for a moment. "You mean the car accident?"

"Maybe," she smiled humorlessly. "And it did trigger your memory loss. However, I'm not entirely convinced it's simply from the car accident. From my readings on accounts documented on dissociative amnesia, there are three types: Localized, Generalized and Fugue. Yours being Generalized. So let me explain the other two first. Localized centers on forgetting certain people, certain events about a person's life during a traumatic time—not everything obviously, unlike yours. Fugue is when a person assumes a completely different identity than his own as a result, and obviously you're not going around thinking you're a different person too. 

"You on the other hand have forgotten your childhood, your name, your family, even your personality it seems. At least from what I've heard about you."

I did my best to follow her words until she paused, "From what you've heard of me?"

She raised two hand in the air as if to surrender, "I've never met you before. You and Lily, in fact. Those two idiots married so suddenly and without my consent. And from what little and cheap secondhand knowledge I have of you, I'm not willing to make a conclusion."

"But you already did. You said I have General Dissociative Amnesia."

Mara started tapping her fingers on the table, "It's not as simple as that. On a normal day, I get access to information as to possible causes of the patient's mental issues. Like family background, work environment and even friends. In your case, I have zero information on you other than what you've recited. And Zachary, the secretive bastard that he is, is unwilling to share information about your married life.

Why not? Even I had to ask myself. 

"At first, I wasn't bothered really. Dissociative Amnesia is more common in women than men, it doesn't last long and the memories of the patient come back completely." She shrugged, "So I said let the distrustful loser have his secrets, it's not like it's gonna last long..."

I shifted in my seat and I knew there was a but coming.

"That is until Zach told me of your fainting spell inside the mall. And before that, he said something about you having a headache on the way to the convention... then I started to worry."

Mara picked up the pen and paper again and fully faced me. "I want you to be very honest with me with this question, okay?"

Her serious expression made me suddenly more nervous, but I nodded, "Okay."

"Your memories are coming back, aren't they?"

I sat frozen in my seat, staring at her.

Mara didn't need a verbal answer before she nodded, "I've suspected as much. My theory is the memories are the cause of the headaches. And it gets worse the more memories that come back."

I recalled the splitting headaches and just the thought made me bite my lip. "Why do you think that is?"

"Like I said, this type of amnesia is a counter-measure to extreme emotional stress. Maybe bringing back painful memories translates in your head as physical pain. But like I said, it's still just my theory." Mara sighed, "At first, I didn't agree with Zach keeping silent about your past at your state but if this is happening, I can't help but agree with him on his decision."

"You agree to keep my past from me?" I asked quietly. The few pieces of memories that came back needed their fair share of explanation. I could not follow their line of thinking.

"Pretty much," Mara raised an eyebrow at me, "How much pain do you think your body can take?"

I opened my mouth but she immediately cut me off.

"Let me rephrase that. How much pain do you think the baby in your body can take? You're still in the early stages of your pregnancy. What's the risk that the triggered memories would cost you a miscarriage? Do you understand where Zach is coming from?"

Our baby. I looked down to my flat stomach, suddenly scared. I almost forgot about him.

I stared at her, "B-But you said it yourself that the memories will come back in a short while."

"Then let them come back naturally and we'll observe," Mara replied, "But don't go looking for triggers. It's not jut yourself you have to think of. And I believe we both agree the baby takes precedence in this case."

Yes, we did. The baby was priority over everything else. Even over my identity.

I had to research a bit before writing so... 

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