Grieving Soul [#Wattys2019 Winner]

Chapter 40

#GrievingSoulWP

Chapter 40
Selfless

Days passed by so quickly when my life was going accordingly to what I had planned. Minsan nagugulat na lang ako sa kung gaano kabilis matapos ang isang araw. Hindi ko maiwasan ang matakot at mabahala dahil sa pagbilis nang pagtakbo ng oras dahil alam kung sa oras na bumagal ulit ito ay hindi ko magugustuhan ang mangyayari.

I've been there before. I've seen how fast two years passed by before like it was only two weeks, and the months I've spent grieving were like years.

Tuwing iniisip ko kung ano ang dapat kong ikabahala ay wala namang pumapasok sa aking isipan na rason. The life that I have may not be perfect, but I can say that I'm happy.

I have a husband who loves me more than I deserve. I have Hero who makes my life more colorful. I have my family who gives me strength and support. I have my work which is progressing steadily.

Kapag naiisip ko ang mga 'yan ay nawawala ang aking pangamba na maaaring may mangyari na hindi ayon sa aking kagustuhan. Those who were around me that I love gave me enough assurance to fight the anxieties that were building up inside me and clouding my mind with worries.

"It's gonna be fine, Iarra..." I whispered to myself while staring at the full-length mirror inside the walk-in closet.

I was wearing a black halter dress that's up to my knees, and my hair was tied up in a messy bun. My face was also painted with light make-up just enough to highlight my features.

Mamayang gabi gaganapin ang reunion namin. Gio managed to get one of the function halls in The Valley by talking to Tita Cora and he also helped with the preparations. Nakakatuwa nga dahil hindi na kinailangan pang rentahan ang function hall na nakuha. Ang mga nakolektang pera ay napunta lahat sa pagkain at mga dekorasyon. The excess money will be donated to a charity.

While I was staring at myself in the mirror, I saw Gio approaching me from the back. I smiled at him, and he smiled back. Nagulat na lang ako nang bigla siyang nagkabit ng isang gintong kwintas sa aking leeg. I was in awe looking at the pendant―a small heart with a cute diamond in the center of it.

Nag-angat ako ng tingin sa kanya sa salamin at nakitang mas lalong lumawak ang kanyang suot na ngiti habang nakatingin sa akin. Hinarap ko siya upang magpasalamat pero natigil ako nang hulihin niya ang aking palapulsuhan. My eyes were wide open when he locked a very familiar charm bracelet on my wrist. Nagtagal doon ang kanyang titig at kahit na nakangiti ay hindi nakatakas sa akin ang sakit na dumaplis sa kanyang mga mata.

I suddenly remembered when I threw this charm bracelet in front of him. Para bang nadidinig ko pa rin ang tunog na nagawa nito noong bumagsak sa tiles ng aming mansyon. I couldn't forget the pain that was etched on his face, especially on his tearful eyes.

Hindi ko na napigilan ang aking sarili at agad ko siyang niyakap para maikulong sa aking bisig. Gusto kong bawiin ang sakit na naidulot ko sa kanya noong araw na 'yon. Even though it's been almost six months since that day, I know it left a big scar in his heart and it's not yet completely healed.

That day was the only time when I saw him so transparent and vulnerable. Kitang-kita ko ang nag-uumapaw na sakit sa kanya kahit na pilit niya itong tinatago. The pain that I gave him that day couldn't be concealed no matter how much he tried and yet, I still broke him even more.

"I'm sorry for everything..." I whispered sincerely in his ear.

Gio exhaled a deep sigh before returning my embrace with a tighter one.

"You don't have to say sorry..." he said. "The pain's worth it. I have you now as my wife and I'm your husband. That's all that matters."

Gio's words were lingering on my mind while we were on the way to The Valley. Pinaglalaruan ko ang singsing sa kanyang diliri na aking hawak-hawak habang siya ay nagmamaneho. Kahit na medyo nahihirapan siya sa pagmamanipula ng gear stick ay hinahayaan niya lang ako sa gusto kong gawin. He wasn't complaining.