Pulse [Yoonmin] [Vkook]

7. Out of it

assault

verb

1. make a physical attack on.

~°~

Being sexually abused is something which doesn't always happens to boys. Thats why no one believed me...

My mother ignored it when I told her, she thought that one 11 years old kid doesn't know what does "inappropriate" means. Honestly, I'm so mad at myself for being scared to death to tell her, or someone...

I was a way too young. My youth should have belonged to studying and hamging out with my mates just like every teenager.

It wasn't.

I never got the courage to show my bruises, the scratches and everything. I never dared to say a word against the person who turned out to be such a coward. Now, when I'm 18, I realised that I should have done it a lot earlier.

I plead guilty. I feel guilty for telling my older brother Joon, he was basically the only person who ever believed me. I have never felt scared of my own brother, yes we have never been very close, but he lost his shit when I told him.

I feel guilty because his whole friend group went and beat the shit out of my abucer, who I was such a coward. And then I became agressive. Then I was just numb. I'm writing it, saying it in my mind, because deep down in my soul, I feel so damn scared.

If I keep silence, will someone hear me?

~°~

"I'm wondering, why don't we stay at your place the next time?" Jimin suggested, beaming at Yoongi. He couldn't get enough of this. Yoongi in a cute blue pajama, which was abviously very big and loose on him, sitting comfy on Jimin's bed, hugging a pillow tightly.

" I don't really feel this place close to me, you know? Its just... A feel a lot safer and good here." He smiled. "You know when you were a kid and probably used to make a tent at home and play cards, or read using lantern toy?"

"Of course I do, Yoonie! I always felt so deep into my world, like I could have an adventure every single day and stay a kid forever!"

"See, thats what I meant..." Yoongi warmly smiled, showing a smile gummy smile. God, even the little mole on his cheek is adorable! "When was the first time you got anxiety?" Yoongi asked quietly, trying not to trigger me.

"I was about 13 when I got panic attack in the school dressing room, since some shithead spread a rumor that I'm gay." Jimin said with a small smirk. He wasn't sure if that was exactly the day when it happened.