In Fair Verona

XXVI

"Favourite colour?" Penny asks. She's sat next to me on a bench at the park.

"Does black count."

"Typical."

"Typical? Fine, what's yours?"

"Rose gold."

"That's metallic. Is that like a colour, colour?"

"Yes it's a colour."

"Fine. Uh, favourite," I look around at everything around us. "Type of tree."

"Type of tree?" She laughs and the air fogs up around her mouth.

"Yeah."

"Probably maple."

"Typical," I say to mock her.

"It's nationalism."

"No, that's when you think your country is better then any other. Or superior."

"Maples aren't your favourite?"

"I like willows."

"Okay. Uh first crush?"

"Hm. I've never actually had one," I say.

"What?"

"Never really like anyone," I shrug. "Maybe. I don't know what they're like. I've found people cute?"

"Yeah but it's someone you always want to be around or you get really happy to see. You've never felt like that?"

"I don't know. Maybe."

"Oh I think you'd know," she says.

"Have you?" I ask.

"Twice."

"Well what's that like?"

"I don't know. It's just nice to adore someone and everything they do. It's where you're at a stage where your not dating or arguing you just appreciate the little things. Like their face when they think or are focused, or what they're passionate about."

I don't know what I'm passionate about. Maybe drawing. Isaac loves science. He also loves English. I don't know what he loves more, the stars or talking about books.

He also loves music. He gets happy a lot when we listen to his music. Then I feel like an ass if I ever play my music. He wins me over every damn time.

"It's also thinking about them all the time. Or at the weirdest times," Penny says breaking my thoughts and looking up at me. "And realizing you're so comfortable around them."

When she speaks slow and doesn't break contact something clicks and I realize what's happening. Does she think I like her back?

I think all the way back to when we were in English and she talked about getting nervous around someone, and how disappointed I didn't feel that way about her.

Well maybe I do feel that way I just don't realize it because I have nothing to compare to.

"You know what I mean?"

"I—"

I don't know.

I don't know how I feel.

I know I love it here more then I love home. I know I'd never go back. I know I don't want Arianna here. But I don't know how I feel about Penny.

"I guess," I say.

I decide why not try and figure it out.

She leans in and kisses me and I let her.