True Feelings

Emptiness

This song inspired this chapter:

The Way I Do
By: Marcos Hernandez

Your kiss, your smile, your mind
You're sunlight in my eyes
I miss your breath on my neck
When we whispher in the night

Didn't wanna want you
Didn't wanna need you so bad
Didn't wanna wake up
And find that I was falling so fast
Didn't wanna need you
Didn't wanna need anyone
Now look what you've done

Now I can't go on without you
I'm naked I can't fake it
I'm not that strong without you
Never thought that I could love you the way I do

Your touch, your skin, can't believe the way you let me in
Don't rush tonight, I need you like the ocean needs the tide

Didn't wanna want you
Didn't wanna need you so bad
Didn't wanna wake up
And find that I was falling so fast
Didn't wanna need you
Didn't wanna need anyone
Now look what you've done

Now I can't go on without you
I'm naked I can't fake it
I'm not that strong without you
Never thought that I could love you the way I do

I always thought I can stand on my own
Climb a mountain top all alone
Relying, depending on no one
Now look what you've done

Now I can't go on without you
I'm naked I can't fake it
I'm not that strong without you
Never thought that I could love you the way I do

Never thought I could love you
Never thought I could need you
Never thought I could want you the way I do (2x)

I love you
I need you
I want you
...the way I do (2x)

💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

Tin's POV

It is almost 2 weeks since he broke up with me. That's the last time I heard from him as well. He didn't waste time. He returned everything including the cellular phone I gave him.

When Monday came, I thought I was late. When I checked my phone, it is still early. I get used to taking Can in front of the building of Sports Science department then I realized, I don't need to go to school early because Can already broke up with me. I got so frustrated that I can't go back to sleep anymore. I still can't believe he chose his friends over me. He knew that I don't do love. I trust him. I enjoyed his company, in fact I don't want anyone near him but me. I showered him with a lot of things that would make him happy and here he is thinking that I am in love with Pete?! Geez, Pete is like a brother who I need to protect from people who want to take advantage of him. I think I better go to school now before I go crazy.

Three days after we talked, he went to my home with the box containing clothes and shoes I gave him. He make sure that when he returned everything I am not at home. He lied to my mom. He said that I am planning to have an outreach program. He told her that I ask for his help to collect old clothes and old footwear that we are willing to give up so that we can share our blessings. My mom was delighted hearing this and she did not suspect anything. My mom is so fond of Can. Everybody in the house knows that he is my boyfriend. She even said that Can is a positive influence to me. She even suggested how she can help my project and said that she will ask her friends to donate for my outreach program because it is very rare for me to think of such activities. She even proudly told my Dad about it during dinner. He was so engaged with it too. He said that it is good for the publicity of our company and already giving his pledge for it.

I am somewhat happy that for the first time my Mom and Dad are actually noticing me. They appreciate the idea of me having this kind of project. But what is this I am feeling? Why I felt like I am missing something? I am doomed. I need to make this outreach program a reality. I bring the box in my room. When I opened it, everything smelled of Can. As I checked other contents, I saw the smart phone I gave him. I wonder now what phone he is actually using. For this past few days, he is not responding to any of my SMS. He is not answering my calls either. I tried to reach out and explain my side. But it seems that Can have other plans. He is avoiding me like a plague. I even waited for him at practice but Can keeps on inserting himself in between his friends because he knew that I will never go near him when he is with them. I even tried to visit him at home but his Mom said that he was out with his friends. I am starting to feel alone again and it is not a good feeling at all.