What's my sin?

Chapter one: Another morning

Whaaaam !

I held my cheek as i let the pain set in. I tried so hard to hold back the tears that threatened as i looked down. I had to concentrate on not crying and remembered the words of my friend Esther Think of beautiful things and you wont need to cry. That seemed hard at the moment, i tried to think of ice cream but was distracted by a heavy slap on my back returning me to reality.

"You stupid girl. At your age you are still bed wetting. Are you daft or something ? Dara, go and get me my cane".

This time i let the tears pour freely. Her last sentence is something i never wanted to hear. I watched as Dara ran inside with glee always joyful to see me suffer. I can tell she blames me for being the first child and taking away her privilege to command us all. After all, her mother is the first wife so she should be the first child.

"Get up and strip your clothes ! " I hurriedly got up shaking at my step mum's order. I didn't want to enact her anger further. Slowly i pulled off my blouse under the boring eyes of my step brothers and sisters. This had become an every morning ritual and i knew what to do next. I pulled off my panties and faced the wall.

The house was filled with my screams and cries for the next few minutes before i dragged my ragged self to the girls room. I crouched at my favourite position behind the door where i consoled myself. Dara came in and ignored me as she went to get herself dressed for school. I sunk my head in between my knees when a knock brought them hastily back up.

My step mum was looking down at me with contempt. "And who do you expect to pack that mat for you ?. Bed wetter, you had better get up now before i descend on you idiot again". I hurriedly brushed past the bed and began folding up my worn out mat revealing a massive puddle beneath. "You should be ashamed of yourself, do you see any of your siblings bed wetting ? Even Charles who is 3 has stopped bed wetting. I will one day put pepper in your vagina so it will burn you when you try to pee" she hissed and went outside.

The tears on my face had dried itself up and i could only keep sniffing. I lifted the mat to take it outside. "Don't let that thing touch me o" Dara screamed at me from the wardrobe stand. Her sauciness disgusted me but there was nothing i could do. If i tried anything she would run to her mum. I hated she was the only girl i could talk to in the house, my other step sis was with our guardian and my dad in the opposite Duplex. I so envied her a lot even though she is older and adopted.

I went through my morning ritual of washing and spreading the mat before going to scrub and mop the floor i messed up. I consoled myself. It isn't my fault that i bed wet, I'm just 6 years old and i keep seeing toilets and pools in my dream. By the time i realize its always too late. Im so scared of my step mum and i try so much not to annoy her but my body system wont just work.

I stopped and sat down leaning against the bed only Dara slept. I once used to sleep on a bed too when i was with my mum. Tears trickled down my eyes. I missed her a lot and couldn't still understand why i cant live with her. I could only see her on Sundays which is why i look forward to church so much.

Martins came in dressed in his school uniform. He is the same age as Dara followed by Kingsley who is in between them and Charles. "Its okay, stop crying now" he sat down beside me and placed his hand on my shoulder. He and Kingsley were the only ones who had my back occasionally when they weren't manipulated by Dara.

"I just want to go home"

He became quiet. I knew what was going through his mind also. Neither of us had our parents here and we felt the same way. But unlike me he is a boy and not the firstborn. He rarely cared about things like that to the point of being bothered. "You know mummy will be angry if she sees you haven't dressed up for school". That reminder was enough to get me active. I jumped up and took my towel leaving him behind in the room.