Soo . . . High School
Who knows what they want to do when they leave high school?
Like whenever I talk to my friends about it some of them know while others are getting depressed from the thought of it.
It's whatever you make of it ,sure, but it does get tiring. Thinking about the job you'll have,bills, career, and who knows about love life with STD out there! I mean have you ever thought about stuff like this?
Stuff like what you're adult family does? Do they come home tired and don't want to deal with the little life they have to teach yet don't know what to teach them ,or are they people who come home knowing what to do for you and them? Not just you.
This is my own view of when you grow up, but I don't believe the age you are is the same for you mental/emotional state. Legally, yes. Age does matter. But when it comes to the responsibility of being that certain age with the role you would play in society. Age wouldn't make any sense.
Like those sayings that people say, " You're 18 now, don't you know you have these many bills to pay?" or something like ," You're only 14. You don't have any responsibilities yet! You're still a kid."
Those don't make any sense when it comes to age! It's either 'you're too young! Why are you worrying' or 'you're getting old! Why aren't you worrying?!' Do you see what I mean by that! I know I like to speak nonsense but goddamn I'm confused everyday of my life and it's increasing every time I hear shit like this!
Like my dad for example! He's a lot like me.
My dad didn't seem ready to have kids and my family never approved of him. Plus it seems like his family had problems of their own as well, so he left. Right when I was born, he left, got into drugs, and I didn't know who he was for most of my life.
And I know most people when I tell them this are like 'how could you ever forgive him?' Well, I don't forgive him because in my eyes, there is nothing to forgive. It is his life just like it is mine. And that's what I mean for mental age. The people who are mentally ready for certain things and don't need to go to things like drugs, alcohol, or meaningless fucks. As I said before, these are my beliefs.
My belief is that if I am to ever go to things like drugs, just sex, or highly alcoholic drinks that would be the time when my life is over. I would probably be too far gone to come back and say 'hey just came back from a mid life crisis'.
So back to the example of dad. He wasn't ready then and resorted to other things, but during that he was able to bounce back. Now, he is back in my life, got married to someone, and has gone to rehab. He apologized to all the people he left behind. He came back as an adult then. That was him being mature and I respect him for that. The fact that he came back to all the people who were pissed at him with a smile and he even offered to pay them some of his money when he hardly has money.
I honestly look up to him now because he came back when he was mentally ready. This is why I say he's a lot like me, as well. I know that I leave things behind all the time. I leave things thanks to my instability, fears, or pride. The same goes with my dad. He was being self destructive and then isolated himself, but he came back stable and ready to face the consequences of his action. I know that when I left things or people I'm not ready to come face to face to them without falling back into that self destructive hole I was in before.
That's why I respect him. And that's why I'm not in the mental age to do what he has done.
