𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐀✔️

45.5|REST

Emptiness.
There was no peace or gratification to this end.

Over time, I became what they feared the most.
A rogue.

I became the creature that roamed the woods at night, the very beast that parents warned their children about in their bed time story's.

For months I wondered the planes and the hills alone. For months I stood in the pouring rain, letting it wash over me, chilling me to the bone yet I didn't dare seek shelter. This is what I deserved.

Through the days my clothes tore and became ragged and my skin grew raw. Then I became stronger, stronger than I had ever been before, my hands gained calluses and cuts, my senses grew sharper, and I could run further over the rough terrain.

I became wild, feral even.

I hunted game such as deer and the occasional bear. Though many a time I had almost lost the fight against those larger brown beasts and my much smaller wolf.

No one came for me.
Marus had left me once more, though it was for the best.

I told myself that if I ever saw that bastard again I wouldn't hesitate to put a knife in his back just as he had done to me.

Though I was just as guilty as he was, I was the one that pushed his dagger through the skin of my mates back and into his heart. He had been the one to show me how to do that. I had betrayed him.

I no longer felt grief.
I no longer felt guilt.
I had become hard and unfeeling.

Time had taken what little softness my body had and now I was left with nothing. No pain, no pleasure. Nothing.

I was past feeling sad or sorry, those emotions wouldn't change what I had done. Those emotions wouldn't bring my mate back.

Now there was rest, a kind of loveless peace that held no sense of safety or tranquility but it was still my own sense of home. No one was after me, I wasn't looking for anyone or anything. I was free. The only thing held captive were my emotions.

My heart was a wasteland, barren and boundless. No mans land. Never set upon and never achieved. It would remain that way. I would rather drive a dagger through my own heart than let it belong to another ever again.

But that was a thought for another day, when the nights grow cold and the sun no longer casts its bronze baked glow through the crimson clouds.

For now, I'd rest.

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