Being God's light

Anxiety

Anxiety .

Something most of us battle with more than we would like .

Something I , battle with more than I'd like. 

You get to a point where you think you're finally free . It's gone . But then it hits you from behind when you least expect it .

I'm a stressor . I stress . About anything and everything. 

I've never used the word Anxiety as what I'm dealing with because it immediatly makes me think of a mental illness like depression.  And it makes me feel bad to think that I may have that . But when you look up the word it means ; A mental health disorder characterised by feelings of worry. So in other words stress .

I've been "stressing " for as long as I can remember.  And not because my parents pressure me to be the best and do the best . Because it's quite the opposite.  They don't pressure me . They support me . Stand by me and what ever comes my way. 

So why am I stressing? 
I don't know. 

I've actually gotten better.  I wrote my Prelim Exams with only REALLY breaking down in anxiety once . When I wrote my Maths . It was the worst it's ever been .

I couldn't sleep . I was moody and grumpy . It felt as if I couldn't breathe . And no matter what I did it got worse . It got so bad my mom had to get me relaxation medicine to calm me . I even drank cups and cups of Chamomile tea to relax before bed .

It was bad .

But then I found the scripture Phil 4:6-7 . I can't remember how I came across it but it read ;

"Be Careful ( anxious) for nothing; but in everything by prayer and  supplication with thanksgiving , let your requests be made unto God. And the peace of God , which passeth all understanding , shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus ."

It spoke so much to me that I studied it in my Bible study .

And basically, it says that having anxiety is a sign of lack of faith.  Because you're having anxiety about something,  thinking you can't and won't be able to do it , out of lack of faith .

When in reality all that anxiety can be taken away by giving it over to God . Letting Him take over and take control over your situation , fear,  mind , whatever it is that's causing you to be anxious. 

Because if there's one thing that I learned with being a Christian , is that no matter what I can put my faith in the Lord and trust Him to guide me through this storm .

And I have to admit I thought I got better.  That I moved past my anxiety . I haven't taken anymore calming medicine or Chamomile tea for weeks now and it feels so good ! I feel so free !

But then yesterday it got me again . I laid in bed and like always my thoughts run about what happend that day etc . And then a thought came up .

Are you SURE you're ready for your finals ?

You know you're not going to have anyone you know there ?

What if you ' accidentally ' break one of the rules and fail ?

What if you don't make it ,then all this was for nothing ?

I freaked out . I couldn't sleep that night.  It was  like I was consumed with fear and doubt about , am I really prepared,  what am I going to do , do I try to make friends? 

It's heavy. 

But then the next day I was reminded that what God has done for me already .

He has brought me this far without being anxious .

He has helped me through my anxious time .

He has never left my side. 

So why am I being anxious? There's nothing to worry about .

There is nothing the enemy can say to me to make me doubt in what the Lord has promised to do .

And there nothing the enemy can say to make you lose your faith in God and what He has planned for your life .

So I'm here today to say ; don't believe the lies the enemy tells you . Don't let him consume you with anxious thoughts.  You are  better than that .

You a better than the anxiety you are feeling.  Better than the panic in your breathe or the rising of your heartbeat. 

YOU ARE THE DAUGHTER OF THE LIVING LORD JESUS CHRIST !

And there's nothing He cannot fix and take away .

So stop being anxious and put your faith and trust in the Lord . Lift your eyes up and see Him for what He's doing for you .

You'll get through this , I promise. 

And if you ever want to talk , I'm always here to lend a listening ear ❤