The Haze

마흔 하나

41 

Two Days After 

...

She had no idea what she was thinking, she wasn't even sure she knew how to think anymore.

The haze of adrenaline and confusion was clouding every single decision she was making. On some level, she worried that she was going crazy, but with her best friend's reassuring aura next to her, it seemed as though she was doing what had to be done.

The journey to the airport was long and tiresome, the overcrowded trains making it even harder for Luna to accept what she was doing. She tried craning her neck upwards over the swarm of bodies to see the beautiful skyline she loved so much, before the train disappeared into its dark and unknown underground oblivion.

Luise had insisted on going with her, her faded eyes focused on nothing at all, so as to not come to terms with the fact that her best friend, roommate and colleague, was fleeing to another country, because she euthanised her patient.

The thought that her own job was hanging on the line didn't even bother her, not when she'd look at Luna and see the fear and guilt coursing through her eyes.

And although she felt her friend's pain, she also admired the resolution in what she'd done, the strength that it had taken. Not that she would tell her this now, and risk breaking down in-front of everyone here.

Meanwhile, Luna's determination was finally starting to waver, the thought of living in a completely foreign country, all alone, sending a terrifying shiver right down to her bones.

-----------------

They had made it out into the airport terminal an hour later, the late evening sun shining through the glass walls, casting an orange tint onto the sleek tiled floors. The air seemed as thick and suffocating as molten gold as Luna checked in her bag, the overwhelming feeling of sorrow looming over her as the time to say goodbye came too close for comfort.

She looked up at her friend, sadness eating away at them both as they hugged each other. Luna had no idea what to say, since the entire situation still hadn't clocked in her mind.

Luise was trying to find the right words, the words to convey how much she would miss the woman that had been in her life every day for the last ten years. The thought of never seeing her again was too overwhelming, too strange even, that it was almost unthinkable.

Luna seemed to snap out of her fear induced daze for a moment, as she smiled up at Luise, her eyes saying everything that needed to be said for now.

No words were exchanged as Luna turned to go through security, until Luise felt the urge to say at least something, "Luna!"

Luna turned to see the blonde open mouthed, her skin shining golden in the sunset. Luise shrugged, not sure how to continue, "Come back okay?"

Luna's heart hung so heavy, that she worried it would just melt away. But she managed to nod, almost nonchalantly, virtually as though she was just leaving for a holiday. No big deal.

--------------

She padded slowly through the terminal, tired faces and gloomy bodies the only thing her mind wanted her to see.

Sitting down in exhaustion on a row of chairs, her gaze wandered around as she focused on everybody else there.

Trying to ignore the feeling that she had just jumped, from a high-rise building. 

.