The Hate You Give

I'm Sorry

I hope you enjoy I couldn't figure out how I wanted this chapter to play out but I finally got it. Also this song is gold hamzaa is amazing. I suggest you listen to it right when Kehlani says "I love you". Not anything after it just those three words. One line. Anyway proceed dear reader.

Kehlani's POV

I woke up not knowing where I was. I was on a black fabric couch. I had a superwoman blanket on me and one of the couch pillows under my head. My phone was plugged up and sat on the coffee table in front of me. I sat up, instantly regretting it. My head hurt like a bitch. I groaned and fell back on the couch, not wanting to get up.

"You're up." Came a familiar voice. I looked up and saw Y/N holding a cup of something. I couldn't see what it was but it was hot. I could tell from the way the steam rose above it.

"I guess I am." I replied, attempting to sit up once more. I winced in pain at the throbbing and pounding in my head. Did I really hit the ground that hard?

"Take it easy would you? You hit your head pretty hard back there." Y/N came and sat next to me, putting her cup down on the table.

"Where are we?" I asked. This place was nice. There was wall art everywhere and the style was beautiful. Mainly boho chic but with a modern twist. There was a decent sized kitchen on the left with a big island. Everything was beautiful and I couldn't help gawk at how nice and pretty it was.

"My apartment." Y/N says from beside me. My head snaps in her direction asI look at her dumbfounded.

"This is your place?" I couldn't believe what I was hearing. When did she have the time to get this? And why am I just now knowing about this?

"Yeah. My parents helped me get it before I got shot. I've been wanting to surprise you for a while now. I wanted us to move in together." Her face fell suddenly and I already knew what was coming.

"But you cheated. You cheated on me while I was in the hospital. You gave up on me. Why? After everything we've been through. Everything you've done for me and vice versa. How could you do this to me?" I could hear Y/N's voice crack as tears welled up in her eyes. Did she not hear me the first time? I quickly wiped them away and pulled her into a hug.

"Baby no. Okay look. Shaina was being stupid and said that shit but I don't want her I want you. I don't think about anybody but you. You lift me up in more ways than you can imagine. I don't even think you understand how badly I needed you when you were in the hospital. Or how badly I wanted to go on a murder spree till I found the people that shot you. I didn't because I wanted to make sure you were okay. You're my number one priority Y/N. I'd take a life for you. Fuck that I'd take my own life for you. Sure call me obsessive or desperate I don't care. I know for damn sure I'm whipped. I have never treated a girl like I do you. I've never loved a girl like I do you. Fuck I've never wanted to marry a girl someday like I do you. You stay on my mind so much it's probably unhealthy at this point. But I don't care. When you wouldn't respond to me at Hayley's house, that hurt. And now that you still think I could cheat on you after everything I've said, it hurts even more. I love you more than I love myself. I don't want to lose you. I almost lost you once." Y/N pushed herself off of me.

"Shut up with that bullshit Kehlani I know you're lying. You don't care about me." She turned away from me and at this point I was pissed and ready to cry at the same time. This person I was talking to wasn't Y/N. She couldn't be.

"Y/N what the fuck are you talking about?! Is that seriously what you're thinking? You mean to tell me that staying in the hospital for you for two and a half weeks straight is me not caring about you? Not even your parents stayed as long as me. Beating Zendaya up wasn't enough for you? Should I have been the one that should have been shot? I think I should've maybe I'd be lucky enough to die this time. Y/N you fail to see your beauty. I tell you every single day that you're beautiful. And every single time, you blushed and told me you weren't. Is that me not caring about you? Are you that oblivious Y/N? We've both been through so much but this by far is the worst damage that's been inflicted on me." I could feel tears streaming down my eyes now. Y/N was breaking me in more ways I could ever imagine. She scoffed and crossed her arms, giving me a dirty look.

"Oh really? What damage has been inflicted upon you hmm? Cause last time I checked, I had a long scar from a bullet that penetrated my chest. So tell me what have you been through?" I was pissed now. She was completely disregarding what I was saying to her.

"I got abused because I was at the hospital for you. I got raped for loving you. I damn near drowned myself in a bathtub because I got raped for loving you. I haven't been thinking right these past couple of days ever since I almost drowned myself for getting raped for loving you. And now you're completely disregarding what I'm saying to you when I'm trying to explain this shit to you when all I wanted was for you to tell me you love me." I shout at Y/N. Her eyes widen and she falls silent. I can't tell if it's because I yelled at her or because of what I said.

"Please. Just tell me you love me." I say barely above a whisper. I grab Y/N's hand but she doesn't react. She just stares at me with wide eyes. After about a minute of uncomfortable silence I let go of Y/N's hand and stand up. I grab my phone and toss the blanket off me.

"Well thanks for not letting me die out there. I'll leave you alone now. I can tell you don't want me so I'll get out of your hair." I walk to the door and open it. I look back at Y/N for a moment and she hasn't moved from her spot on the couch. She broke me.

"I love you." I say quietly before walking out.

I close the door and shove my hands in my pockets after pulling my hood over my head. It's beyond freezing out here and I have to find somewhere to stay before nightfall. I couldn't go home and I wasn't go back to Shaina's house. She pissed me off. Maybe Chance would let me crash at his place. I walked down the stairs of the apartment complex and headed in the direction of Chance's house.

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It felt like the temperature dropped, which I'm pretty sure it did since it was pretty much dusk. I had been walking for about an hour now and I was ready to pass out. My teeth were chattering violently and my body shook at how cold it was out here. Chance's house was still a good 30 minutes away but I felt like I was gonna collapse any second. I was tired and wanted to lay down and die. I heard running behind me but didn't think much of it. Whoever it was wanted to get out of the cold just as much as I did.

"Kehlani!" They shouted from behind me. I didn't turn around. I had to have been hearing stuff.

"Kehlani!" Okay who the fuck was calling me? I stopped walking and turned around to see Y/N running up to me. My mouth dropped and I wasn't sure if I should help close the distance of stand still. I decided to close the distance. She jumped into my arms, pressing her lips against mine instantly. I held her against me by her waist. Y/N's hands flew to the side of my face, holding my head in place, as she deepened the kiss. I became lightheaded and felt my knees buckle not only from the cold but from the sudden kiss. I crumpled to the ground with Y/N on top of me. I let my head hit the ground softly, never breaking the kiss. My hands found their way to Y/N's ass. I held her close to me while our tongues licked up every ounce of each other's juice. I bit down on Y/N's bottom lip a little and she inhaled the kiss. Finally she pulled away and held my face in her hands.

"I'm sorry Kehlani. I'm so sorry that I didn't listen to you before. I was being a selfish jerk. I'm sorry that I didn't believe you and made you feel like crap. I didn't ask for any of this to happen. I'm sorry you got raped. I'm sorry you tried to drown yourself. I'm so sorry I caused you so much pain. I love you so much Kehlani Ashley Parrish. More than you'll ever know."

At this point tears were running down both of our faces. I pressed my lips against Y/N's once more as I felt a weight being lifted. I finally got my girl back.

"I love you too Y/N, Y/M/N, Y/L/N. So freaking much." Y/N laughed and kissed me a third time. She pulled away when she felt a snowflake land on her nose. I smiled at looked up to see a fresh coat of snow falling from the sky. Y/N got off me and helped me up.

"Let's go home."

I nodded and Y/N leaned into me as I wrapped my arm around her.

Y'all finally got what y'all wanted.

Did y'all like the song? I genuinely want to know.

Smile babes❤️