Introverted By My Thoughts [✓]

Dreams

(D. k.)

Life...
I gave up on that dream a long time ago.
It fills you with false promises of a better life.
Dreams, ambitions, goals.
It let's you work so hard and dream so big.
Fills you with passion,
And desire for a better life.
Let's you put in everything you have;
Your mind, body and soul, to work.
And just when you think things are starting to work out.
Just when you can almost clearly see your vision.
It takes you to the highest point of the mountain,
Only to drop you, taking away everything;
Your friends, your family, your dreams, your goals.
Till it leaves you with, nothing.
These bottles, they are the only things I have left.
The only things I can trust, the only friends that I have now.
Sometimes I wake up,
And I don't even know what happened the day before.
Other times I wake up in a place,
And I don't even know my location.

I know fully well the intoxicating effect, is bad for me.
I know, it's leading to my inevitable tragic ending.
But at least, it doesn't fill me up dreams, goals or ambitions.
Every passing day I wake up,
Is a constant reminder that I used to be someone.
I used to be something;
I used to be human.
I used to(chuckles) I've gotten so used to that word lately.
When you've tasted failure like I have,
Every other thing that comes along with it, is just child's play.
They call me a drunk now(chuckles)
I remember when I used to have a name.
I hear what makes you a failure,
Is falling, and never getting back up.
But did they ever stop to consider the fall?
When you've reached the level of height I did,
Any fall scatters your soul and your spirit,
Leaving you completely numb inside.
Dead cold; a living corpse.