Introverted By My Thoughts [✓]

Disposition

I'm in some type of mood right now.
The type of mood, where I can't describe my type of mood.
The one that comes right before,
I start to feel everything, and nothing.
So empty, yet feeling everything.
It's a lot.
Normally I should cry for no reason at all,
But this is no reason.
Happens a lot at intervals,
Yet still I can't explain it each time.
I feel like I should extinct myself from the world.
Not die,
Just disappear to a place where everything is pitch black.
Only me,
Dead silence.
And there'd be no need to open my eyes,
Because there'd be no difference.
I'd wander around recklessly,
In a world with only me in it.
No need to talk to anyone besides my thoughts;
Just cry alone.
But crying doesn't change anything;
Doesn't work in this situation.
At this point, I hate everyone;
But feel indifferent about them at the same time.
I hate everything, and Life itself;
But doesn't make me angry,
Only wishing I'd disappear -
Away from everything.
But then the episode comes to an end inevitably,
And I'm back to all laughs and smiles again.

But the day it doesn't end,
What then?