All for you

14.

Jinyoung

My thoughts cleared with each lull of the waves, my book laying forgotten as I stared out into the ocean.

I stretched my legs out, leaning back on the bench while tilting my head up to face the sun. I should head back to find my Seunnie.

I felt the bench tilt and looked up, checking to see who sat beside me.

"Seunnie?" I whispered, not believing my eyes.

"Hey Jinyoungie" he whispered, staring back into my eyes.

I drank in his face, missing him so much. He looked so worn out, his eye bags were dark purple stains under his eyes. How did I miss that? I should be looking after him. I should be supporting him.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be so distant" he whispered, afraid to approach me. I threw myself at him, Jackson's arms catching me in time.

"Babe..." he started, only to pause and stiffen as I started crying in his arms.

"I'm sorry" I bawled, the guilt filling me up while I hugged him tight to me. God, I missed him.

Jackson released a tiny sigh, pulling me tighter to him while rocking me from side to side.

"I'm sorry love. I didn't mean to. Forgive me?" he asked, stroking my back while trying to calm me down. He hugged me tight to him, resting his head one mine while pressing little kisses to my forehead.

"I'm sorry too. There was nothing to forgive you about... I shouldn't have shoved you. I wasn't thinking" I sobbed, burying my head in his neck.

I was so afraid that he would disappear, that he would leave, my heart pounding so loudly that it rang in my ears.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry" he repeated, continuing to rock us from side to side. He pressed little kisses onto the top of my head, his body still tense under mine while he tried to calm me down.

"Stop saying sorry. I'm sorry. Forgive me" I sniffed, shifting impossibly nearer to him. I lifted my head to look at him, stroking his face lightly.

"I'm dying without you" he muttered. His eyes fluttering shut, leaning into my touch, his arms still tight around my waist.

"Don't say that" I frowned, cupping his face in my hands. He looked so worn out with his eyes shut, his face cupped in my palms.

"It's true. Nothing made sense. The day felt too long and I had no idea what I was doing" he sighed, tilting his head to press a small kiss to the palm of my hand.

"Come back with me" he continued, opening his eyes to look up at me.

"I was never leaving you. I just needed the air I guess. I'm sorry darling. I'm sorry. I don't know what is wrong with me... I should be looking after you" I replied, stroking his eye bags with my thumbs. It hurts, seeing how tired he is.

"I'm alright" he smiled, his gaze so soft before adding "for us".

"Thank you. I never did thank you. Thank you for doing so much every time, for us" I smiled back shyly, pressing a kiss to his forehead. I treasure him so much...

I felt his body slowly sag, the tension slowly escaping as he stared into my eyes.

"Thank you for coming to find me" I whispered.

"Why wouldn't I?" he asked, his low voice sending some tingles down my spine. Jackson obviously noticed and used his thumbs to draw tiny circles on my lower back.

"I know you don't like it when I turn away from you. I ran away this time. And yet you came after me" I explained, curling into him.

I tilted myself so that I sat sideways on his lap, his arms holding me tight as I got comfortable. I laid my head on his shoulder, propping my legs up on the bench. It finally felt like home. I'm a fool.