atla one shots

9-father

Zuko's pov

Now I don't know anything about parents seeing as my father was never there for me when I was younger, and my mom left when I was 8, but I can't really say I feel completely comfortable around Hakoda. I know I shouldn't fear him, or he might use it against me, but I don't want him to fear me either, because that might affect what little I have going my way right now. Aang and Toph trust me, and Sokka is starting to. I don't want to lose the friendship, the starts of a family that I'm finally getting, but I wouldn't be surprised if  he didn't want them anywhere near me, so I decided to let it go as it is going to go. Uncle would be proud of me, I hope, seeing I'm trying to follow his teachings and the way he wanted me to live my life. 

I slowly move away from the family union happening in front of me, trying to ignore the longing rising in my chest, knowing and never forgetting that it is something I will never know, the warmth of a father. Uncle tried his hardest, but he's just much too old to be a father and it's been much too long since his son, my beloved cousin Lu Ten, had died. I love Uncle and I always will, be he just isn't the figure I'm looking for. He's just... Uncle. No better way to describe it. I wish he were my father, maybe things would've turned out differently than they did. I shake my head and silently slip into the shadows, heading towards my room

I probably won't be out till morning, simply so I don't have to fight my emotions every step of the way, but I might head to the roof later to stargaze or train with my swords,more than likely stargaze, since it's been forever since I last had the oppurtuniy to notice and appreciate them. I sigh, Uncle really has gotten to me, before I enter my room and settle on the bed, leaving the covers under me,seeing as I generate too much heat to actually sleep under a blanket unless I'm in the poles. I reach into my bag and grab a small doll, not too accurate, but it's something my father gave to me when I was a baby and it's the only thing I have to tell me he wasn't always this bad. But, I can't say I believe that.

I bring the small doll, fitting in the palm of my hand, up to my neck and rest it there. I think about it's features as I drift off the sleep, having memorized them long ago. Brown hair, with lighter brown eyes and fair skin. A gentle and soft smile, with a nice little traditional piece residing in his hair, signifying him as crown prince, or more accurately, the crown prince's best friend, whom he trusted and gave this piece too, hoping their friendship would last. I hope I have a friendship that may last into another lifetime, but I highly doubt it, with the way my life's going. I sigh and snuggle it closer, before slipping into sleep.

I wake slowly as the sun rises,before sitting up. I grope around, before realizing the doll is gone. I jerk up and look all over the place, trying to find it and panicing when I can't. I dress hurriedly and walk towards the main room, hearing voices and hoping I can find the doll. It's important to me, and I can't have lost it, because it's the only connnection to my father that I have. Or at least the only nice one, with gentle fingers resting against the scar for a moment before I drop the arm. I sigh and relax when I see the doll in Sokka's grip the second I turn the corner, nearly sagging in relief. Surprisingly, Aang, Hakoda and all of the others are up, and look really interested in whatever Sokka's saying.

"- he seemed really attached to this. Do you think it has an importance significance? Maybe it's an heirloom, or something his mom made for him."

"Then do you really think you should have it, if it's so important?"

"Not like it matters, I'm already up anyways."

 I snatch the doll as I pass, not wanting to pass everyone again in order to put it back. I sit down and set it on my knee, before glancing at the others.

"Why do you have that doll, Zuko?"

"Probably because he's too much of baby to sleep by himself. The horror of the world haunts his dreams and he can't sleep without something nearby, to keep them at bay. What a brat."