atla one shots

27- soulmates

This is a soulmate AU, but it is not romantic. It is platonic, except for Suki and Sokka. Everything else is familial, and I won't be changing that. Ok? Ok. Also, this is based off a lovely fanfiction on Archive of our own, under the name "The family you choose". It's great, and I honestly believe you should go read it before this.

Zuko pov

I had always hoped to know who my soulmates are, but the marks had been removed, by my father, the second he saw them when I was born. The only thing I even know about them, from my mother, is what color they might be, but she caught only a glimpse and was on sedatives, so she's unfortunately not a good source to get my information.

Azula and father had no marks, they just didn't deserve them, or didn't get them, but they don't have marks. I know what elements my partners use - one airbender, one waterbender, one earthbender, and 2 non users - and that really limited down my options, especially once I realized the avatar was the only Airbender and is soulmates with Katara, Sokka, Toph and Suki, to figure it out. Honestly, I'm just glad they've not yet realized I'm the sixth.

They don't know Fire nation symbols well, and so my mark, whatever it is, won't be recognized for years to come - by which point I will already be dead - because to keep yourself from your soulmate, is to accept death. You don't have to stay with them 24/7, but after meeting them you have to hang out for a few hours at least, but I know mine won't know until too late. A week after not going to your soulmate, the pain becomes too much and you die.

The pain will come from the marks and will spread color along your body until you're covered, but every inch of skin the color takes, even if the lines look smooth, are filled with gut - wrenching, want to end it all pain. I would know, after all, I'm currently lying on my bed, not too long after noon, with a pillow in my mouth to mute any sounds I make, and my shirt off. 

Even with the marks no longer seeable, they are still causing pain, simply because I know who they are. It's not worth it, I'm not worth it, and the pain is something I'll take, because I have taught him and the others enough they can make it on their own. Even if they can't, I left letters, maps and other information I thought would be useful, for them to use once I passed. They won't like me, not with what little they know about me.

I was a complete asshole to them, and the little they know about me, will absolutely not be enough for them to want to them. I know I deserve this, and so much more, but this is the only way I can think to make even slight amends. I did not do anything for the other 5, and I'm assuming they never even felt my spirit during their youth.

I bury a scream in the pillow as agony lights up my torso. I moan and squirm, trying to fight, even when I know this is what I deserve. I wince as sunlight streams in my eyes, but fight back the agony enough to get up. I have to show up for breakfast and a last training lesson with Aang, before heading back to my room. Hopefully the fact that the marks are growing will not be noticed.

I groan, but stand shakily and drag on my shirt, even as the feel on my shirt agitates the pain and makes it worse. It won't be for long, and then I can return to my room, look at the photo of Uncle Iroh and die in peace. The other 5 don't need to know I was their soulmate, it won't bother them, not with how little, if at all, my spirit probably interacted with them when they were younger.

It takes a few more minutes for me to get steady enough to walk, and pull up my shield, so that they don't suspect a thing. It won't do if they suddenly realize I'm their soulmate and decide to actually save me. I wince with the first few steps, but by the time I'm in the main room with the others, they can't see anything wrong. I see a frown on Toph's face, but nothing seems off so I shrug off the frown and settle down next to her.