Saviour Will Be There

Chapter XVIII. You Live Without Direction

"Ok, good, you'r eup," Jake came into the living area, flanked by Ashley, CC, and Andy. It was 9:30 AM; the bus left the venue at 8, so in 7 1/2 hours, we would be in Kansas City.

The guys all took seats and looked at me... even Jinxx sat up and turned to me. I straightened up, feeling nervous. 

"What's going on?" I asked nervously.

"We have to talk to you about... yesterday," Jake said. I scrunched my eyebrows together.

"About... what?" I questioned. 

"When Juliet approached you," Ashley answered. The memories flashed in my head.

"Yeah... I threatened her, but I let her go. So what?" I shrugged, trying to act nonchalant. I didn't want them to know about the power...

"You were going to kill her. If Jinxx hadn't distracted you, you would have ran after her, and killed her," Ashley said with certainty. I looked down. "You felt the urge. You felt fueled and insulated with power. You told yourself you could get away with it- you had the power, the speed to do it."

"How... do you know this?" I breathed, looking at him.

"Because it's biology. Vampiric biology," Jake said.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you've seen the Vampire Diaries, so you know Damon's character, right?" I nodded. I'm fairly sure every female teenager knew Damon. Mmm. "Well, you know how the whole thing in that TV series is that when you transition into a vampire, you can flip the switch and turn your humanity off so you don't feel the pain anymore?" I nodded again. "It's kind of like that, only there's no switch and it isn't done consciously."

"I... don't understand," I admitted, shaking my head.

"In reality, it's a Vampiric defense mechanism," Ashley explained. "What happens is... well, say something bad happens, and it really upsets you... a lot. Like, destroys you emotionally lot. What happens is you shut down temporarily, and your Vampiricism chips away at your humanity until your emotions are relatively stable."

My... humanity? WHAT?

"But... I still feel like myself... I'm still nice... I still care about people," I wrapped my arms around myself.

"You are! You're still you! But what happens is after your humanity is chipped at, it gets replaced with power- if that makes sense. For instance, in any situation where you would have felt pain, or extreme anger, or sadness, you feel power. Raw power. If you get put into a situation that would have normally caused you pain or whatnot, the power takes over and protects your psyche from further damage. In those situations, a Vampire essentially takes on Damon's personality, almost. Like... a dark side that temporarily takes over."

"So... so how do you know that's what happened to me?" I whispered. 

"Your eyes. When the defense mechanism takes over in a Vampire, their eyes take on a red glimmer- it's only visible to Vampires, and if any are around in see it, they know to steer clear. That's why we didn't pry you and Juliet apart- it was possible you would have turned on one of us. That's why I'm the one who took the chance to step in front of youwhen you were about to chase down Juliet... because I knew you wouldn't hurt me," Jinxx finished. I gasped. I ... had a dark side. Wow.

"We're telling you this so you'll be aware of it, and be careful," CC whispered.

"Is it bad that I think it's kind of cool that I have a dark side?" I murmured. The tension broke, and they all laughed.

"Nah, it's cool," CC waved. My eyes trained on Andy, who hadn't said a word.

"Andy?" I asked. He looked up at me.

"This was my fault," he said. "When you walked in on us... you shut down... I saw it in your face. That's when it set in... when it started on you," he muttered. I smiled sadly.

"The past is in the past, Andy. What's done is done- there's nothing we can do about it now, but move on," I told him. He looked up at me, and half smiled.

"Thanks, Hails," he said, standing up and taking a seat next to me. I hugged him tight, and patted his back. 

"You're welcome, Andy," I smiled, pulling back. I grabbed Jinxx's hand and pulled him up and made him sit on my other side.

"Well... I'm bored," I groaned.

"Me, too," CC pouted. While the guys tried to find something to do, I sat and contemplated my 'dark side'. 

What if I really hurt somebody?

"Hey... where'd Andy and Ashley go?" I wondered aloud, noticing their absence from our movie debate.

"They're right- huh. Where did they go?" Jinxx frowned. We all got up and went searching for them. They weren't in the bunks... or the kitchen... or the bathroom... what the hell? We made our way down the bunk alley, and opened Andy's door.

"Oh- God! Shit! I'm so sorry!" I cried, flustered as I shut the door. I could never unsee that. 

"AWWWW-KWAAARDDD!" CC sang. I shuddered. Ashley... had been feeding from Andy's neck. While it gave me chills of attraction, it was still awkward.

"Well... I'm just gonna... go find some... uh, food," I slowly made my way to the kitchen area. I rifled through the pantry, and found a bag of white cheddar flavored Smartfoods popcorn. Yum!

I took it back to the living area, and munched on it while Jinxx and I watched Scooby Doo and the Cyber Chase, trying to take my mind off of that... image. They'd been on Andy's bed on their sides, Andy's back to the door, and Ashley's chest to Andy's. Ashley had been leaning over Andy, his fangs deep in his neck and his fingers digging into Andy's arm.

It was hot as hell... and awkward. As. Fuck.

"Thank you, Kansas City!" Andy called. It was 8PM- 4 hours after we'd arrived, and the show had started at 6 PM. We filed off the stage and back to the bus, tired as hell.

Jake went to find food and call some girl he had met. Andy grabbed Batman and put it on in the living area. CC went ot his bunk, and Jinxx and I laid in our usual spots.

I watched as he tossed and turned on the floor, unable to get comfortable. I got off of the couch, grabbed the pillow and blanket, and hauled Jinxx to his bunk. He climbed up into it, and I followed easily, covering us both with his blanket and putting the pillow underneath out heads.

He sighed, and burrowed his face into my hair.

"What made you do this?" he whispered. I shrugged.

"I could see how uncomfortable you were on the floor. Besides... the couch was getting old," I smiled.

"Mmm... well I definitely like this better," he murmured.

"Me, too, Jinxxie... me, too."

OK I know this was a short and boring chapter. It's more of a filler, I guess... anyway, the next chapter will be better :) I hope. FEEDBACK!!  oh and theres a pic of Damon Salvatore to the side. Just cause. :P