without you // jack duff

chapter 22 ~ promises

cassie's pov

i woke up and quietly groaned, rolling over and falling off the sofa onto the ground. why was i on a sofa? i opened my eyes and realised i was at the boys' house and we were all here for a party last night. i squeezed my eyes shut and put my hand on my head due to feeling a sharp pain. great, i'm hungover

i sat up, pulling myself back onto the sofa and laying on my side, looking around the room to see who was here. andy and becca were cuddled up together on his bed while mikey and lexi did the same on his bed. all four of them were asleep. i assumed that all the others were asleep in their own rooms, amelia being with rye

i laid staring at the ceiling, thinking about the events that had happened that night. and that's when i remember what happened between me and jack. great. absolutely great.

i slowly sat up, noticing that i'm in the same clothes from last night. i looked around for my phone and grabbed it, quietly getting up and putting my shoes on. i ignored how ill i felt from the hangover and made sure i had everything before quietly opening the door and leaving. i didn't want to be there when everyone wakes up, and i didn't want to see jack

i made my way home and the first thing i did when i got back was get paracetamol to help with my hangover, and then i went to my room and collapsed onto my bed. i let out a heavy sigh, grabbing my phone to text the others an excuse to why i left so early. i squeezed my eyes shut, trying to forgot everything that took place last night. i'm such an idiot. i regret my whole life

i got up to change into some more comfortable clothes before flopping back into my bed. i curled up under my duvet and buried my face into my pillow. maybe if i dig myself deep enough into my bed i'll be able to dig my own grave. i stayed rolled up in my blankets until i fell asleep, hopefully to wake up with a cured hangover.

•••

a few hours later i woke up, wrapped up in my duvet like a burrito. i slowly wriggled my way out as i was hungry and needed to eat since it was probably afternoon by now. i managed to sit up and i check my phone for the time - 3:30. whoops. i pushed the duvet off of me and stood up, letting the cold air of my room hit me. okay that's too cold. i picked up my duvet, wrapping it around me so it was also over my head and waddled over to my kitchen, looking for food to eat.

i decided to make myself some toast so i put some bread in the toaster and waited for it to pop. i stood there staring at the toaster, wrapped up looking like an eskimo. eventually, the toaster popped, causing me to jump back out of fear and scream, ending up on the floor. round of applause to me. i managed to get up, still wrapped up, got my toast, buttering it and eating it

afterwards, i walked into my living room and laid in the middle of the floor. i closed my eyes and let out a sigh. a few moments later, there was a quiet knock at the door, meaning i'd have to get my lazy arse up. i quietly groaned and pushed myself up off the ground, leaving my duvet on the floor and walking over to the door. i'm guessing it'll be one of the girls or brook coming to check on me

i opened the door to see the person i least expected - jack. he stood there, wearing his usual black jeans and red flannel shirt, his hair messily sitting across his forhead in curls and he had faint bags hanging under his eyes. at this moment, i realised how much of a mess i would have looked. he nervously shuffled after a short, awkward silence

"uh hey" i quietly spoke, already hoping that our conversation would soon end

". . . hey" he replied, looking at me in the eyes then looking down to his feet

". . . do you wanna come in?" i asked, trying to be polite. he nodded as i opened the door further, letting him in. he slowly walked in and looked around, his attention focusing on my duvet laying in the middle of the room

"don't question that. so uh what did you need?" i asked, slightly feeling uncomfortable

"right uh. . . about last night," he started and i internally groaned as he nervously fiddled with his fingers

"i- im sorry about what happened. we were- i was drunk and i-" he stuttered, not knowing what to say. i bit my lip, pushing my hair out of my face

"it's fine" i sighed, looking anywhere but at him. i wouldn't have done it if i was sober, it was just the alcohol. it was just the alcohol.

"and a-about before. . . i'm really, really sorry" he apologised. i held my breath and closed my eyes, really wanting him to leave. i didn't need this last night, and i don't need this now. but still, he continues

"i know i hurt you in the worst possible way, but i didn't want any of it to happen. i didn't want to leave" i didn't let him continue as my anger started to take over

"if you didn't want any of it to happen then why did you do it? if you didn't want to leave then why did you?!" i snapped, already frustrated

"i- i don't know" he stuttered, shrinking into his own shoes and becoming even more nervous than before. he really shouldn't have came

"you did the worst possible thing you could ever do to anyone! you mentally destroyed me! what makes you think that apologising will magically solve everything?!" i shouted, getting a sharp pain in my head from still being slightly hungover, but i ignored it

"what else am i meant to do?!" his voice broke,
"it absolutely killed me to leave! why would i want to leave the person i was in love with?! the person that i- that i'm still in love with" he shouted, but said the last part quietly. what? he likes me? no- he's in love with me? i put my hands on my head and pulled my hair, closing my eyes and trying to take in what he had just said. before i could do anything else, he grabbed my hand to pull me towards him and looked at my arm

"what's this?" he questioned, his eyes filled with a mixture of panic, anger and fear. he rolled my sleeve up further to show very, very faint scars from cuts in the past. i didn't even realise they had scarred, but i now had panic rushing through me. how did he even see them? i bit my lip and didn't make eye contact with him, trying to stop myself from tearing up

"was this. . . was this from when i left?" he quietly asked. i closed my eyes and nodded

"y-you promised you wouldn't" his voice broke

"and you promised you'd stay" i whispered. he let go of my arm and i folded them across my chest, turning as i couldn't bare to face him right now

"you should go" i whispered, still not looking at him. he didn't reply, i just heard him let out a small, quiet whimper before his footsteps lead him out the door. as soon as i heard the door shut, i broke down crying

a/n
this is sad but IM SO HYPED FROM THE HARA'S CONCERT OOF

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