without you // jack duff

chapter 28 ~ i wasnt worried

cassie's pov

the venue had quickly filled up with fans and and the boys were already on stage, singing their hearts out. we were wtaching from the side of the stage where no one could see us, listening to their voices that somehow don't need auto tune, and spending this time speaking to noah. i'd never felt so happy in a long time, and i was so glad to know he was back in my life.

he wanted to know everything that had happened between me and jack, but i said that i'd tell him on another day where there wasn't hundreds of screaming fans interrupting our conversation. that, and i myself wanted to know what was currently happening between me and jack. are we okay with each other? do we have to hate each other? i guess only time will tell

the building became quieter as andy picked up his guitar and started to play a slower song and the crowd used the flashlight from their phones to create an audience of stars. i recognised the song to be 'i wasn't worried', and watched the boys slowly sway side to side as jack lifted the microphone to his mouth to start

"there are so many things i could relive; i'd go back to the day that we first kissed. i confess, that red dress, i reminisce" he sung, his voice filled with so much pain and emotion. i payed close attention, possibly starting to feel the same emotions that he was currently feeling.

"ill love the sound of my name upon your lips, until we grow old" he sang, finishing his verse. he looked down, biting his lip as the song made its way to the chorus and ryes voice took over andy's. i watched brook stand closer to jack, trying to slightly reassure him without making it obvious, until it was once again jacks turn to sing

"i remember how shy you were at first, and your face would go red when i would flirt. you look cute, in them boots, i fell head first. i felt my heart in my chest it nearly burst on cardigan close" his voice broke, a tear running down his cheek but he quickly wiped it away before anyone saw

i felt tears start to fill up my own eyes, so i quickly got up and left before noah or the girls could say anything. i ran through the corridors until i reached the metal door that lead outside to the back where no one would be. i leaned back and let my back hit the wall, sliding down it as tears started to stream down my face.

i covered my face with my hands as i continued to cry, my heart feeling the most pain i've felt in a while. it felt as if daggers were being pushed into my chest, making it harder for me to breath, and my eyes stung as the salty tears continued stream down my face

after all this time, i never thought i'd be crying over jack. yes, i know he hurt me, but i was over all of it. or at least i thought i was. he is now an every day reminder of my old life, but not any of the happy memories; only the times from where i lost everything and everyone. the few memories that were once happy are now a source of sadness, making me miss how things used to be.

once i'd manage to stop the tears from falling, i used my strength to pull myself up, wiping my eyes. i went back into the building and quickly made my way to the nearest toilets, locking myself in. the show was bound to finish soon and the boys would see the state i was in, which i didn't want to happen.

i leant back against the door for a moment, closing my eyes and letting out a long sigh. i walked over to the mirror and wiped my eyes, trying my best to make myself not look like i'd just broken down. i sorted out my hair and took a deep breath, keeping myself together

i left the bathroom and found my way back to the others, seeing that the boys had just came back off stage. they all smiled once they saw me

"hey where were you?" brook asked, coming over to me

"oh i just went to the toilet," i said, not exactly lying,
"you were great" i smiled, tightening the strings to keep my lips in the formation of a smile

"thank you" he smiled, pulling me into a hug

"ew you're sweaty!" i managed to laugh, pushing him off of me. we went back over to the others and i said how well all the boys had done, except jack. he was sitting down away from us, staring down at his hands as he fiddled with his fingers. i bit my lip, thinking of the words he sang and the emotion that filled his voice, but that needed to go to the back of my mind for now

the boys got ready for their meet & greet, and the rest of us stayed where we were continuing with our conversations. i tried my best to keep my mind off of jack, but it was harder than ever. i distracted myself by speaking to noah and tori, also making sure i had both of their numbers before we left. i had to see noah again no matter what, so i was making sure we stayed in touch, and i think tori will soon become a very good friend of mine so im making sure i stay in touch with her

soon later, the boys finished their meet & greet and we were all ready to go. i gave tori a hug, and also hugged noah, clinging onto him for longer than necessary.

"come on, you can let go" he chuckled, patting my back as we pulled away from the hug.

"it's been three years, you owe me a lot of hugs" i laughed, hiding the emptiness i felt inside from my mini breakdown earlier

"and you'll get them soon, don't worry" he smiled, kissing my cheek

"i'll see you soon" i smiled as he waved goodbye, watching us all get into the vehicle and drive away. i spent the journey home trying to swim my way through my sea of emotions. i felt the happiest i've been in a while from seeing noah, but i also felt the saddest i've been in a while due to listening to jack sing that song. i didn't know how i should feel, but what i did know was that i'll be in this state for a long time

a/n
i have absolutely no idea how but smileforroadtrip managed to write and upload a whole (short) fanfic in the space of 24 hours? so now she's writing another one based on jack and me ;) so go read that!!!
also, ImInJoeSuggsShoe 's fanfic deserves a lot more reads and votes so READ IT!!!! pls

please remember to vote! ♡