without you // jack duff

chapter 23 ~ story

cassie's pov

for the remainder of the day, i kept myself locked in my room, crying. since i told jack to leave, ive been trapped in the past, remembering everything we went through together. from the moment we met when we were 6 to the moment he left when we were 16. 10 whole years. my brain was trapped in a cycle of reminiscing every moment

i need to talk to someone. i need a shoulder to cry on,
someone to hold me and comfort me. i need brook. i reached for my phone and went to his contact. he would be the best person to talk to since he knows both me and jack so well

me:
can you come over? i need to talk to someone

i stared at my phone, anxiously waiting for a reply and trying to dry my eyes, but the tears just seemed to keep forming. luckily, it didn't take long until he answered

brook 🙉:
i'll be five minutes xxx

i took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down before he arrived. i got up and looked in the mirror, getting a tissue to dry my eyes. my face was still quite red and my cheeks were still puffy from all the crying, but there wasn't much i could do to stop that

soon later, i heard him walk into my apartment without knocking, coming straight to my room. the second i saw him i broke down and fell into his arms, tears streaming down my face. he wrapped his arms tightly around me, holding me close as i sobbed into his shoulder. he sat me down on the edge of my bed, keeping me locked in his embrace.

"hey hey, it's okay. it's okay" he whispered, trying to reassure me as i clung onto his shirt. i managed to calm down slightly and look up at him, letting him push my hair back and gently wipe my eyes.

"i don't know what to do" i whimpered, looking down so he wouldn't
properly see the state i was in. he leaned forward to place a small kiss on my forehead and held both of my hands

"i. . . i know how badly he hurt you but i think you deserve to know his side of the story" he spoke, stroking
my hand with his thumb to keel me calm. i bit my lip and nervously nodded, letting him speak

"when jack first joined the band, it was obvious he wasn't happy with something. but obviously, we didn't properly know him then. it was back when we lived in our old flat and the five of us shared one little room, so he never really got any alone time. i gave up my bed for him and i slept on the sofa since there were only four beds to hopefully make him feel more comfortable with us, but he would still act up. he even cried himself to sleep for the first few weeks, and everytime we asked him what was wrong, he would say that he did something really bad to someone that didn't deserve it, so we knew it was along the lines of some sort of breakup," he explained as i listened to every word

"since the two of us share a room now we're a lot closer and i know a lot more about him. i know that he's never been out with any girl or even kissed anyone since he left you. there's been times where we've tried to set him up with people to cheer him up, but nothing worked. he gradually did become happier, but i don't think he's ever been the happiest he could be while he's lived with us. since the day i brought you back to our apartment, he went back to acting strange again; not talking to any of us or blocking us out, sleeping less, not eating properly. but i've never seen him look at anyone he way he looks at you" he continued. it didn't seem like he was making any of this up and i didn't think he would anyways, so i believed every word he told me

"and this morning once the girls had left, he told us he had to go speak to someone and then left without saying anything else. we knew it was you because of what had happened last night, and none of us thought it would end well. he came back home crying and locked himself in our room for around an hour. once he'd finally let me in, i managed to get him to tell me everything and he poured his whole heart out to me. he told me that he regrets everything and would do anything to go back and change what had happened. he said he's still in love with you, and that he's only lived for the chance that he'd see you again, which has happened. he said he's now only living so he can see you, but he can't stand the fact that he hurt you so badly. hes still in love with you. now, i know that what happened last night might just have been because you were drunk, but i think you might still have some feelings for him - even if it's only a little bit" he finished, lightly squeezing my hands.

i sat thinking for a moment, trying to process everything he just told me. it was like i'd hit a conservational speed bump. i was speechless. i can't believe i have this sort of effect on someone. although i could never not be mad at jack, i understand that he feels hurt and guilty for what he did. i'm just shocked by the fact that he's. . . still in love with me?

"n- no. i don't. i cant. i can't like him" i panicked, trying not to start crying again

"hey hey it's okay" he said, pulling me towards him for a hug. i buried my head in his chest and took a deep breath while he gently stroked my hair. we stayed like this for a moment while i tried to remain calm

"i don't know what to do" i sighed

"wiat here, i'll be back in a minute" he said, getting up and walking out of my room. i leaned against the back of my bed, resting my head in my hands and sighed. i can't believe i just broke down in front of him. i pulled the hood of my hoodie up onto my head and reached over to my drawer to get my glasses, placing them over my face.

brook soon returned, carrying a lot of sweets, chocolate and a bowl of popcorn, placing them on the end of my bed. awh bless him

"you wear glasses?" he asked, sitting back beside me

"no i found them in one of my moving boxes so i kept them" i shrugged, resting my head in his shoulder, as he grabbed the remote for my tv and put netflix on. he lightly laughed, searching for my favourite movie - lilo and stitch (a/n wHiCh iSnT oN nEtFLiX wHaT) and i smiled.

"my eyes hurt" i mumbled, taking the glasses off and putting them on the side and receiving a chuckle from brook. he wrapped his arm around me and held me close as we watched the movie

"can you stay here tonight?" i asked, not wanting to be alone. my voice was still slightly shaky but i was managing to hold myself together

"of course" he replied, kissing my cheek. i smiled and cuddled into him, resting my head on his chest and watching the movie with him, eventually falling asleep on his chest

a/n
omg the music video for 'i don't think about you' i can't

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