Jacksepticeye One Shots

Getting Priorities Straight

TW: Jackieboy Man doesn't look after himself properly, mentions of drugs...

Jackieboy Man, just like every other person in the entire universe, had his priorities. To some, priorities revolved around education, friendship or just simply getting through the day. To Jackieboy Man, the one main priority that shaped his entire life was the want to help humankind. Whether it meant getting up at three in the morning and running into an alleyway which was almost certainly the home of a serial killer or just not sleeping at all, Jackieboy Man didn't care.

That was why his basic, physiological needs were pushed to the bottom rung on the priority ladder. He easily skipped the step to go and save a cat from a tree or to pull someone out of a burning building. He didn't mind, nor did he even notice from time to time.

When Jackieboy Man felt especially tired amidst a fight with a villain, he didn't blame the lack of sleep or food, he blamed something else. He blamed his own strength and decided that he needed to push himself harder and train even more. So, onwards he pushed himself. He'd work out until his muscles were burning and train into the depths of the night until he needed to force his eyes open.

Sometimes, without even realising, he'd skip multiple nights of sleep but that day he had been achieving a new record. Four days. His eyes were already heavy but he had dosed himself up on excessive amounts of caffeine in order to keep himself awake. Jackieboy Man had just about made a sandwich when his phone began to violently vibrate in his pocket. He answered it immediately and, upon hearing the emergency, the sandwich was forgotten.

Jackieboy Man didn't even need to change. He was already in his superhero outfit: when wasn't he? His friends hadn't seen him in casual clothes in a long time but everyone had their own busy lives so they didn't even notice. His feet were a blur beneath him as he manoeuvred down the different streets and alleyways. He knew the city like the back of his hand- if not better. He spotted the disaster not too far in the distance and it pushed him into running even faster. "Hey!" He yelled once he reached the circle of people.

Chase was standing in the middle, his eyes wide as he rambled to the others who weren't listening. He had a black eye and his hat was laying deserted on the floor, collecting dust. Marvin was standing about a metre away and instantaneously hid behind Jackieboy Man when he noticed the hero. "Leave him alone." Jackieboy Man poised his hands on his hips as the crowd broke up and surrounded him instead.

"What did you say little dude?" The supposed 'leader' said, cracking his knuckles. Jackieboy Man saw the punch coming and immediately ducked.
Jackieboy Man took the millisecond of shock to send a punch flying towards the other, hitting him directly on the nose. Another punch came in his direction but he swerved to the side just in time to dodge. All of his training worked up to moments like this, where he had to save somebody reasonably innocent from a band of thugs.

Things started spinning after a few more dodges. He was breathing heavily and his body was aching and screaming for a rest but he didn't listen to it. He continued to punch, kick and dance around the enemies until half of them were knocked out. Jackieboy Man turned towards one of the enemies and the last thing he saw was the guy's face before he collapsed and things went black.

A swear was heard from the magician as the three other enemies turned to them with grins on their faces that just yelled 'trouble'. Chase had picked up his hat and was hugging it against his chest as his terrified eyes darted between the others left. Marvin muttered something before clenching a fist and swinging it at the man closest to him. It knocked him to the floor and one hit against the hard pavement knocked him out cold. "Marvin!" Chase shouted, his voice trembling as he watched the magician begin to take on the enemies. One moment ago, Marvin had been just as petrified as him; the next, he was fighting like Jackieboy Man himself. Many punches and a bloody nose later, all of the enemies were on the floor, unconscious. "I-I'm going to call Henrik." Wiping his sweaty hands on his jeans, he pulled out his phone and called the famous doctor.