Jacksepticeye One Shots

Chase's Death Wish

I wrote this in like ten minutes last night and well I just want to post it. I don't think it's great but I just feel it has a lot of meaning to it. It has two endings and the alternative ending is just below the first ending. Enjoy.

Description: Chase likes sitting on the edge of a tall building because the scenery is just mesmerising. He goes up there a lot when things get too much and he needs time alone to think.

To a stranger, it looks like he's debating jumping.

TW: Suicide? Sort of? Definitely suicidal thoughts and depression so please be careful when reading this.

"No, please don't jump!" A loud voice made Chase jolt his head around. A man around his height was lumbering towards him with flushed cheeks and sweat-drenched hair. His blue eyes were wide with a mix of terror and just sheer anxiety. Chase blinked, his own eyes thin beneath furrowed, puzzled eyebrows. "You have so much to live for. You can't leave this all behind! So many people would miss you and if you-" Realising Chase was staring at him with more confusion than depression, he cut off his own rambles and backed up a little bit.

"I'm not going to jump," Chase glanced at his legs that were hanging over the edge of the tall building but didn't make any effort to move. The stranger was leaning against the railing, his breathing irregular, as if he had run up all the stairs to the roof. "I just like sitting here."

"Do you know how dangerous that is? There are railings for a reason. Only someone with an actual death wish would climb over them."

"Hey, maybe I have a death wish." Chase pressed the palms of his hands into the ground either side of him, staring out into the city. Buildings climbed high into the sky for miles and, in conjunction with the setting sun, it was beautiful. To Chase, it was the perfect spot when everything just got a little too much.

"Why though? Life's so beautiful... it's too short if you ask me."

"Life just sucks," Chase laughed but there was a harsh tone to it. "I'd rather I made my death look like an accident. Maybe I tripped off the building or something. That way the people I love will think I died happy and I will die. Win, win situation if you ask me."

"Dude, what the fuck," The stranger placed two hands on the railings before climbing over himself and perching on the edge of the building. His hands gripped the railing as tightly as possible which made Chase slightly amused, considering he was more than comfortable being on the edge of death. "At the end of the day, your death is your death. It's still going to hurt the people close to you, whether you killed yourself or not."

Chase shrugged. "I won't be alive to see the aftermath."

"That is not the way to think about it. I know we only just met but I'd miss you. You seem like a genuine guy and I think you'd be missed by others. I'm sure you have loads of friends who'd miss you a lot. Do you ever think about how your death would affect them?"

Chase fingered at a rip in his jeans, staring solemnly into the distance. "They don't really care. All I am to them is a burden. I bet they'd be happy to get rid of me."

"That's not true. I bet they care about you a lot."

"Yeah? Well I wish they didn't. Sorry I shouldn't be opening up to a stranger like this... I'm such a mess." Chase stood up, his legs like jelly. One of them gave out within seconds and that was enough for him to fall. He heard a distant scream but he didn't even attempt to grab onto anything. He just closed his eyes and let it happen. Something grazed his arm.

Soon the scream fizzled into nothing.

On the top of the building, the stranger sat. Tears were streaming down his cheeks as he watched the other man fall, helpless. He couldn't do anything but watch. He didn't even know the man's name.

He didn't move for a while as time got lost. Minutes may have passed or potentially hours but he didn't care. All that was etched in his brain was the picture of the man falling with an expression that was so much calmer and at ease than the one he had worn when sat on top of the building.

ALTERNATIVE ENDING

"Yeah? Well I wish they didn't. Sorry I shouldn't be opening up to a stranger like this... I'm such a mess." Chase stood up, his legs like jelly. One of them gave out within seconds and that was enough for him to fall. His arms flailed and, as they did so, one hand managed to latch onto the stranger's hand. He yelled out before he was pulled up onto the building again. He turned and watched as his hat fell to its own death, becoming an ant within seconds. Breathing heavily as tears pricked in his eyes, he made eye contact with the stranger who had saved his life.

Almost desperately, he uttered the words, "I don't want to die." He climbed over the railing with trembling hands before collapsing to the ground. He sobbed and started to repeat the same statement a few more times under the stranger's sympathetic gaze.

"Thinking about it is one thing but doing it is another. You may think it is what you want but killing yourself is a permanent thing. You can't change your mind. If I hadn't been here to help you, you would be dead. You would have left behind your friends and family to mourn over you because a life without you just isn't the same. You're important and loved and most certainly not a burden. I may not know you but what I know is that you're a beautiful person and you don't deserve to feel this way. Please don't kill yourself because death is permanent whilst this feeling is temporary. You'll get through this and, trust me, there will be a day where you look back on your past with pride."

Chase nodded because that was all he could do. He was practically wailing by that point and no word had even a chance of escaping. The stranger enveloped him into a hug and rubbed his back as Chase sobbed loudly into his chest.

"You may feel helpless and like this is your only choice now," The stranger mumbled. "But it isn't. You can get help, alright? You won't have to feel like this forever. Even if it feels like it."

Chase's words and emotions come from deep within me. Maybe I'm not SUICIDAL but I do resonate with the whole "make it look like an accident thing" if I could, I would, you know? I don't particularly want to be here anymore but I won't kill myself really? Just because of the people around me. Yeah, it's hard. I do have a secret wish I'd be involved in an accident so it wouldn't be my fault but I wouldn't have to be here anymore.

Thanks bye