We're Stuck Here So Lets Have Some "Fun" ~Completed~

Feelings?

Have you ever had a feeling of fear.

Not just "oh my god the lights are off turn them on!" fear, but complete, and utter fear?

Where your stomach turns, you want to vomit and cry at the same time. You want to curl up into a ball and cry, but you also want to scream and yell and demand exit from the emotion?

Where you can't even deal with yourself, and you just want to be able to escape? But you know that there is nowhere to escape, that you are stuck in your body for the rest of your life, and the only escape is dying?

But even that isn't an escape. Because you are still you. Because you have still done the things you have done. Because you have still thought the thoughts you have. Because you have felt the feelings you have before. Because that will always be apart of your soul?

And you panic even more, knowing that this will be the last time you see any of these people happy. That this is the last time that they will be completely alright with the situation. That this will be the last time that they won't want to kill to get back something. That this will be the last time that they will see you, and not be horrified of your whole exsistance?

And you lock yourself in your room, not wanting to go. Because if you go, you will have no choice but to betray all those happy faces. That you will be stealing their happiness from them, and they may never get it back?

Even your best friend, who is now dating a surprisingly hot wolf boy, will never look at you the same again. And that fact kills you and makes you want to curl up in a ball and completely cease to exsist, to never have exsisted. Because if you never exsisted, then you would never be in this fix anyway?

And you start to cry, your mind taking over the horrible and terrifying situations that could and will happen after you leave all your friends. And surprisingly, it doesn't bother you that these will happen. The only thing that does, is the fact that it won't bother you when the time comes. That you will be completely cut off from these people?

And you have worked so hard your whole entire exsistinse to make friends, too keep bonds, to not give up on friendships. And you finally found one, which led to the opening possiblities of others, and made you completely happy. But you can't have those now, you made a stupid decison to save the world?

But you'd be better off living happily wth a certian phycotic red head while the world is slowly coming to an end in a war that seems like it will never end. But you wanted to save the other people of the world you now call home, and you couldn't let their lives be ruined. You'd rather have yours ruined, so they can live happily in peace?

But you want to live in peace as well. However, if all you've planned comes into play correctly, then you cannot live happily. You will always be on the run, you will always be marked a criminal who can't go back to the village they just started to call home?

And your stomach growls at the thought of being hated and feared and killing, and you just can't control vomiting on the floor because that's how unsettled you are?

One day, only one day away and the whole world will change. The waiting is killing you, especially since you can't help but vomit because your feelings are conflicting you?

And you will never give any of these people a friendly smile anymore? You won't be able to play shogi anymore with a certian pineapple-headed lazy ninja, and it saddneds you knowing that his life will change signifigantly, too?

That he will face horrible heartbreak as you let his sensei fall in battle because one of your comrades is way too religious?

And you aren't just afraid, you are guilty, angry, in pain, and so much more?