The Abused and The Hurt//Camren//(COMPLETED)#Wattys2019

Disturbance

Warning! The content you are about to read may be uncomfortable to some readers please read at your own risk!

Thank you

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Lauren's POV
*next day*

The morning was pretty hectic the next day. Since I've been asleep for a week since my attempt no one could really get any information from and only had to go off of what Camila had told them. She surprised me this morning with breakfast in bed from IHOP instead of me eating crappy hospital food.

I felt very thankful for Camila sticking by my side as I remained in the hospital. If it wasn't for her I probably wouldn't be alive right now. The whole memory of me attempting suicide is kinda blurry honestly. I can remember very well the strangling I felt on my neck. The way the rope tightened around me as it stopped the air flow through my whole body. It was such an ugly feeling, but yet at the time it was so satisfying.

When the Dr. Charles told me about my antidepressants I felt... insecure about myself and my mind. I've always been so strong against my head and on blocking out the nagging voices in my head. I was never prepared to actually have the voices overcome me and actually consent with everything. I drank because if them, I destroyed things because of them, I hurt the girl I love because of them, and I almost killed myself because of them. Now needing antidepressants to help me fight the voices just leaves me lost in insecurity.

It just didn't settle right for me. Nonetheless I agreed to them and was instructed on how and when I should take them.

The rest of the morning was just a bunch of questioning and tests. I was transferred to different rooms, meeting different specialist, and being in the ICU unit means all eyes are on me 24/7. Camila eventually had to leave since Dinah needed her back at the institution for a few things.

I was currently sitting up on my bed reading a book while music quietly played throughout the room. I was in a room specialized as a cool down room. Since nurses and doctors have been jabbing me with so much today they felt like it was right to let me have some me time. They provided me with all sorts of books by well known, and some of my favorite, authors. They also provided movies for me ranging from Disney to Chick Flicks.

The nurses would politely come in the room to ask how I was doing from time to time. I figured they did that more frequently with me since of the unit I'm in. Not that it bothered me since they were doing their job, but it did bother me in the sense that I couldn't be trusted to be left alone.

But honestly I wouldn't trust myself either.

I would casually look down at my skin and see the all-the-way healed scars that never in my wildest dreams ever be the same. The scars look faded. They looked better. Way better.

And I was no longer dirty. I had bathed myself for the first time in awhile since I didn't care to especially when I was drinking. My hair was combed, silky, and soft. I smelled like lavender with a hint of cherry blossom. No more stains of dry blood and dirt. Just clean.

I put my book down and slowly got out of bed and walked to the restroom inside the room. As soon as I walked in and saw myself in the mirror I couldn't help but let tears fall. I looked like me again. The real me. I didn't even recognize me. I didn't look like the abused girl anymore.

I studied my body for awhile. Just admiring my 'new skin'. I felt right again. I felt happier seeing me like this. I missed my old self. I missed everything of my old self.

Now I have it back.

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"Hello Miss. Jauregui.", I looked up to see Diana, one of the nurses, appear in my room.