That Golden Butterfly {Gaster Sans X Reader}

Chapter 5

Warning!
This story may trigger readers who suffer from anxiety, depression or PTSD. There are many mentions of domestic abuse, self harm, self loathing, suicidal thoughts and tendencies. This chapter contains descriptive acts of self harm and mentions of suicide. If you are easily triggered or bothered by such content, proceed with caution.

~W. D. Girl

After the shower, I followed my routine and went to sleep with a full mind, aching heart and an empty soul.
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Your POV:

I woke up in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and trees. Sitting up, I noticed I wasn't alone. There was a monster sitting next to me. I tried to look at its face, but all I could see was a blurry mess. It did, however, look like it was about 8 years old. It was a skeleton.

"All rested up? Great, let's go play! Папирус is already waiting for us!"

He said cheerfully as he stood up and offered me his bony hand. I wanted to ask him a ton of questions, but my body didn't listen. I was a prisoner in my own body. I took his hand willingly and a smile crept up on my face. As I was running around while being chased by the taller skeleton, I tripped and fell, causing the monster to fall on top of me.

"Hey there Cutie, looks like I've fallen for you"

The skeleton blurted out, causing the both of us to burst out laughing and giggling.

"You're a dork, you know that?"

I said after finally calming down, tears threatening to spill from the corners of my eyes. Happy tears were always my favorite.
The skeleton leaned closer to my face and give my cheek a quick peck.

"So are you, Silly."

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I jolted up from my sleeping position, panting heavily with tears streaming down my face. The memories of my dream still bounced around my head, the voices murmured and echoed as I refused to forget them. I wiped my eyes and quietly sighed with a shaky breath. This was the second dream these two months..

It was Monday morning, meaning I had to go back to that dreaded place. Ever since I was in that fight, everyone gave me dirty looks and spilled hateful comments. I just wanted to disappear.

I got up and the, oh so, cozy blanket fell off my body, leaving me almost completely exposed. (Thankfully not, due to my undergarments.) My legs, arms and torso were covered in cuts, some overlapping, some crossing.. A mess.

I took the razor off my bedside cabinet and cut through my already fucked up skin, feeling the satisfaction the addictive habit has brought to me. It's proof of my living state. I'm still alive..

Blood poured down my legs and arms, trickled down my torso and stained my undergarments. I sighed in frustration and quickly went into the bathroom, cleaning up my skin and putting on a new set of underwear.
Since I didn't really care about myself, I didn't care to dress well. I looked through my closet and found something that's still considered normal, yet comfortable to wear. After I had managed to get ready, I grabbed my bag, locked the house and walked towards the bus station. It was early November and the cold has already kicked hard. Good thing it never bothered me...
Every day was on repeat, go to school, receive comments, think about ways to die, go home, visit the monster base, go home, cut, sleep. I was getting tired of the routine but there isn't much I can do about it.

School was a drag, like usual, only this time I felt worse than ever before. Some nosy students had the audacity to walk up and call me names to my face while hitting me.