Since Birth

Chapter Ten

"I hope you aren't having sex with him." My dad was blunt like Aimee was. Getting straight to the point. No matter how vulgar or uncomfortable the conversation could be.
"Dad I- I don't even know how sex even works really." I guess I had some of the bluntness too but it was mild.
He scoffed and shook his head disgusted still. I mean I was being honest. All the sex Ed in the world hasn't prepared me for the act. "What were you even doing over there? Your sister said you were going to hang at Riley's? Two different directions Em."
"I was upset. And so I went to him. Riley wasn't home."
"Why are you upset then? What happened?"
"I-" I couldn't bring myself to think about it or even come close to talking about it. My dad was more understanding than my mom, but he could be irrational. He would confront anyone that brought harm to us I knew that for a fact. But if I told him, he'd have to know about Aimee's affair.
He put his arms over his chest eyeing me and waiting for me to speak. "I guess your mom doesn't understand the lack of her presence causes things like this to happen. Aidan is a nice boy but I-" he was trying to be authoritative but understanding. He knew we weren't kids anymore. He couldn't protect us from everything. His absence also caused a rift in me and Aimee too. "I just hope that you are being safe and he's not pushing anything on you."
"No." I shook my head at him frowning. "He would never."
"You are an adult. So I know I need to take a step back but I just- I just want you to be safe." He softened his voice and relaxed a little but still on edge.
"Dad I will." I nodded knowing saying that wouldn't be enough but right now it had to be. I was partly embarrassed, upset and tired.
"And if he hurts you." He sucked his teeth and flared his nostrils before taking a deep breath to relax again. "Go home okay? Get some rest."
"Yes daddy." I smiled weakly to him and he patted my head reassuringly.
"I love you okay? I'll see you tomorrow." I nodded and we both got into our cars parting ways.

I went home finally and took a long time in the shower. I knew my dad could keep secrets so I wasn't too worried about him telling mom. I was worried though of seeing Aimee. I was afraid to face her. I had no idea what would come out of my mouth. If I saw her I knew I'd breakdown into tears or she would beat it out of me. I'd have no choice than to tell her what happened to me... Maybe she already even knew.
I shut the water off and stood in there for a moment. The remains of the hot water slowly rolling down my back and forehead. I took a deep breath and just kept telling myself to forget it. It was my fault. Aimee would blame me. Sean would blame me. I'd be to blame for all of this.
Just that thought alone made me run to the toilet and hurl up whatever was resting in my stomach. I sat by the toilet fighting myself to not cry and allow this to take over my life. I felt disgusting. I felt dirty.
"Em what are you doing?" She hit on the door. "Are you alright?"
I held my stomach tightly getting up to my feet and tightening the towel around me.
"I'm fine." I called to her and she turned the door knob but it was locked.
"You aren't fine. What did Aidan do to you? Open the door ok?" I unlocked it and she pushed it open looking over my face concerned. "Is this about what happened earlier?"
"No, I'm fine I just don't feel well." I shook my head avoiding her stare.
"It's emotional, I can feel that." She stepped forward and tilted my head upward so I could look at her. "Talk to me Em."
"Dad caught me and Aidan making out on the couch!" I blurted out knowing that wasn't the reason but she'd buy it. "I got scolded. I was embarrassed."
She snorted and shook her head. "You're such a goody two shoes. Dad should know his little girls aren't little girls anymore. We're adults and we make our own decisions even if that means making out with our boyfriends for all to see."
"We were on his couch and they just came through the door while I was on his lap." I shook my head and she pushed me in the shoulder laughing.
"And so the student becomes the master." She grinned and moved out of the way so I could past. "He looks like he has very luscious lips.
"You kissed him so." I reminded her and she burst out laughing.
"Hey let's got watch a movie together. No bedtime tonight."
"Sure uh, just let me get dressed."
"Yeah I'd rather not see your tatas! Which by the way, they are looking a lot bigger." She hit me in the arm and I laughed nervously before hurrying to my bedroom. I fell back against the door as I closed it and took a big and deep breath to avoid slipping into a panic. I began counting backwards from ten slowly to regulate my breathing and calm down. She didn't know. She didn't suspect anything. She was happy.
I walked over to my mirror once I was calm enough and dropped my towel to the floor to look at myself. I could see that my neck was beginning to bruise from his strong hands. My arms... you could see the prints of his fingers as he grabbed me. I turned away counting down from ten again and frantically grabbing my pajamas to put on so I didn't have to look at myself anymore.
I went downstairs quickly to distract myself. Aimee was sitting on the couch with a bag of chips beside her and a blanket covering her legs.
"What are you watching?" I asked walking over to her as she kept her eyes on the tv.
"Kitchen nightmares is on so I decided I needed to get my fill of Gordon. Come join me." I didn't hesitate to join her. In fact I sat right beside her and laid my head down in her lap so she could play with my hair. I remember dad used to do it all the time when I was younger to help me fall asleep again after nightmares. He would lay beside me in my small bed and run his fingers through my hair until I fell asleep. Sometimes he would sing. As I got older the visits became less frequent but I still would go to him when he fell asleep on the couch, wake him and fall asleep beside him as he played with my hair. It was something I missed when he left. It was something I needed right now.
She didn't question me and like it was second nature to her, she began running her fingers through my hair. Almost as good as him. It helped my mind so much. I fell asleep easily beside her and she didn't once complain. I think she appreciated this as much as I had.