Since Birth

Chapter Twenty Eight

I felt roughed up the next day. We were woken up by Trevor's knock and invasion by opening the door.
"Wakey wakes love birds!" He hit the door hard making me jump under the blankets. Nolan sighed beside me and removed his hand from my waist. "It's noon and my parents are coming back tomorrow so I have a lot of cleaning."
"I can help." Nolan got up from beside me with still just his boxers on. I looked to Trevor who was trying not to laugh. Nolan pushed past him shaking his head as he left. I was surprised that he said absolutely nothing to me. Almost like he was disappointed in how things turned out last night.
"Do you need clothes?" Trevor asked letting himself into the room without asking if it were ok. "Saw you left yours in the steam room- or should I call this one the steam room? Did it get hot and heavy or what?" He grinned and I threw a pillow at him removing the blankets to sit up. I forgot how obnoxious he could be when we weren't in private. How loud and damn obnoxious..
I ran my fingers through my hair and groaned to him asking, "Where's Aimee?"
"Making breakfast." He looked me up and furrowed his brows confused. "Did you use protection?"
"Trevor really?" I rolled my eyes at him becoming annoyed. "Nothing happened." He turned away from me widening his eyes like he didn't believe me.
"He's a player." He closed the door and went to the drawers.
"What do you mean?" I looked to him as he went through the drawers. He pulled out a t shirt and some shorts and turned to face me with discouragement.
"He likes to fuck and that's it." He placed the clothes beside me. "He's a player."
"And you aren't?" I scoffed and he chuckled. "Have an awful lot of women's clothing lying around." My nostrils flared, angered that he would even dare say anything. The sun came through the egg shell blinds shedding light on the dresses and female clothes all around the room we were in. It was a joke but I was partly serious because well, he was a ladies man.
"This is my dead sisters old bedroom." He rolled his eyes and scratched his head and I immediately covered my mouth embarrassed. "I'm just telling you to be careful, don't get attached." He looked to me one last time and left without another word.
I sighed loudly to myself and put on the clothes he left for me before I left the room ashamed.
Last night must've been a nightmare for any bystanders because who knows how many drugs were being dished out last night. I never knew that they had done drugs at these parties, that's how oblivious I was. Aimee was a participant of it that's probably why she had liked partying so much.. it did make the rest of my night enjoyable after the argument with Riley but I'd probably never step foot near them again. My head was throbbing.
I dragged my feet downstairs and to the kitchen where Aimee was smiling and cooking up breakfast. I finally caught whiff of the bacon and joined her moaning to myself.
"Mm, smells delicious." She put her arm around me and kissed my cheek cheery.
"Figured we'd need some fuel to clean up." She mixed the scrambled eggs together and looked over to me grinning. "How'd your night go after the jacuzzi?" She asked and I laughed scratching my head.
"It was fun and then we fell asleep." I shrugged and she nudged me for more details.
"No dirty deed?"
"None." I drew in my bottom lip and walked over to grab a piece of bacon.
"Why didn't you tell me what happened with you and Riley?" She pulled the pan off the stove and put the eggs on to a plate. They had like zero brown spots in them. First time I had ever seen her make scrambled eggs so perfectly..
I started moving away from her as I spoke so she wouldn't try and hit me or something. "I didn't want to stress you out." I took a bite from the bacon. "It seemed unnecessary." It was totally necessary but I didn't want to cause any more conflict. It was not the outcome I had perceived.. 
"Not when I invite her over and she tries to fight you. Trevor told me you two had a brawl." She snorted shaking her head. "A legit fight!" She sounded so surprised that we had fought. So I decided to spit out why we had fought to begin with.
"She told me that you deserved to be beaten by her brother, that you were a slut and a liar. She didn't believe that he had hurt you so yeah, I got furious and attacked her." I shrugged like I was in the right which I believed I was. I didn't mind not having friends but my sister and I, we were together since birth. I would always look after her.
She froze and looked baffled by what I had said. "She said that to you?" The spatula in her hand had drooped as did her face, almost to the floor.
"Yeah when you were missing she said that to me." I looked away and finished off the bacon that had grease running down my forearm.
"Well then she deserves to be exiled from my life and from our friend group." She shook her head in frustration. "What a bitch." She licked the front of her teeth and looked back to the stove in dismay. Trevor came up beside her grabbing her by the waist and turning her slightly to kiss her. I looked away and crossed my arms over my chest jealous but also saddened.
He must've been coming to see her when I was at school or tutoring. They were just being so lovey dovey now but when I saw them last she had basically told him to go to hell for mistreating me. Somehow someway he had snuck back into her life and she was just going with it. I began to remember them in the bedroom last night.. her hitting him and then telling him that she loved him.. I had no idea how complicated their relationship had really been and if I had known I would have never went after Trevor. It seemed he went after me for pity and maybe even to still be close to her. After seeing that and them taking those drugs, I began to realize that I didn't know them as well as I thought I did. There was a side of my sister that I had turned a blind eye to.
I tightened my arms around my chest feeling a bit of heartache and feeling that I was being used by him... I had fallen for the stupid charm he used on every girl to make my sister jealous. That's all it was. I remembered when I refused to believe Mr.Holland and how he had warned me. That now made me weary of pursuing Nolan.. I felt I'd be falling down that same path of being used. He definitely wasn't over his ex because he had told me, but then he had kissed me.. Then last night happened- I felt like such a fool. A stupid blonde pawn in the middle of what seemed like madness and games. I was going to be rejected by everyone at school and it hurt to know that Riley was right. I am pathetic and have lived my life with rose colored glasses. Everything had a deeper meaning..
"Em?" I looked up to Aimee who looked down to me concerned. "What's up?" She asked putting her hands on her hips.
"Nothing," I got up and walked away from her. "I'm just ready to go home."
"Me and Nolan can finish cleaning up here." Trevor suggested to Aimee and she shrugged.
I heard her whisper to him, "I don't know what's up with her."
"Nolan is being a dick." He whispered back to her and I shut my eyes tightly walking to the front door and then out of it as they spoke. I was tired and full of irrational thoughts now. I felt like my whole life was a stupid lie. And the fact that Trevor thought it was Nolan?
"Hey," I jumped from his small touch on my shoulder and shut my eyes again briefly before I looked at him.
"You should really stop creeping up on me." He brought his hand down to my waist and chuckled. I purposely moved away from him and looked towards the sun creeping over the garage.
"It's fun to scare you." He cleared his throat and put his hands in his pockets. "What's going through your mind?" I was surprised he asked. Actually he seemed to be the only person so far to fully understand that I had terrible and torturous thoughts.
"Too much." I replied and began to walk away from him.
"Are you confused about last night?" He asked following me closely. "I just thought it wasn't fair for you. I don't want you to get attached to me Emelie."
I turned to him angry and knitting my eyebrows together confused. "Then why did you kiss me?" I asked seriously hoping he had a good answer for it. "Why'd you kiss me and kiss me like you freaking meant it? You say it's not fair for me to have sex with you though somehow it's fair for me, for us, to make out and be together three times this week!" I shut my eyes and sighed deeply.  "Nolan, you aren't making much sense. Don't you know girls get attached easily by something as small as a boys stupid smile?" He knew I was right so he had stayed silent. He didn't have an answer to my questions. I don't think any man in the world would. So now I was just puzzled and angry. Honestly, what the hell was all of this for?
"I'm sorry and you're right," he sighed scratching his head. "None of its fair and I'm taking advantage of your kindness and using you for my own personal reasons without taking into account how you feel."
"No shit." I snapped at him shaking my head and feeling emotionally exhausted. How many times would I have to tell him that before he realized I was right? "I can't do this Nolan, I can't waste my time for you so that you can get a little pleasure aside from your ex. I know nothing about you and I'm just not ready for whatever this is and I just need some god damn stability! Either you want to be with me or not but I'm over being used."
"I feel like you're breaking up with me." He laughed nervously and I just wanted to punch him in the face. I was done. "I won't cross your boundary line anymore, but I enjoyed partying with you so if you're okay with it, may we still be friends?"
"But if you ever kiss me-" I warned and he threw his hands up in defense.
"Off limits." He stepped back shaking his head. "I won't even touch you." I rolled my eyes and walked past him back into the house sighing. Boys were the epitome of stupidity. Right now I was over it, though I knew I'd easily fall back in the web of bullshit.

•••

Me and Aimee had gone home after helping clean up Trevor's place. She was pretty drained as I had been, mainly mentally. I didn't feel like complaining to her about love because she would literally go find another stupid boy for me and it'd start another cycle.
"I think you should start talking to Aidan again." She plopped down on the couch grabbing up the remote. It was weird that she suggested it, as if she had read my mind and felt that I needed someone.
"When were you going to tell me that you and Trevor were back together?" I threw right back at her trying not to be hurtful but letting her know that I felt burned.
"We are just on and off Em, he's good in the sack so I keep him around." She turned on the television and flipped through the channels while I stood there dumbfounded.
"Why did you even tell him to go after me if you love him?" I asked and she shot her eyes at me and frowned looking me up.
"I don't love him." She grumbled and looked away from me because she knew I would know she wasn't being honest by the face she made. "He just is a stupid boy."
"That really likes you and used me." I snapped back to her getting upset all over again.
She turned off the tv and got up from the couch to come stand in front of me. "I don't know why we are arguing about this," she said shaking her head. "But he told me he liked you and always had so I gave him up for you. I knew you always liked him too Em, you always have. I wanted you to be happy and he just wanted to make me jealous I guess I don't know why he rejected you." She shrugged and looked over my face sternly. "You're letting Riley's words get to you. You are so desirable and any boy would be lucky to be graced by your presence. Just the stupid ones keep distracting you!" She placed her hands on my shoulders and began to shake me saying loudly, "You are not my shadow! You are your own person and you are an awesome person! I was so jealous of your beauty and grace that it drove me insane Em. Riley is jealous, Nolan is stupid and Trevor is an asshole." She dropped her hands from me and threw them up in the air. "Don't let losers control how you feel and think about yourself. Go talk to Aidan, he's grown and still really likes you."
I nodded to her only feeling a tiny bit better from what she had said to me. She was right and I just needed to get out of my head. My mind used to be wired to have a great time with life but now I was just in a constant state of confusion and second guessing. Worse now when my sister was gone for a week and everything made zero sense. That was still the case.
But since she had suggested it, I texted Aidan that evening with a hey and he replied almost instantly with a hey. I asked him if he had any free time and he asked why with two question marks so I told him that we should hang out. I think I was pretty harsh with him when we started hanging out. I was also going through a bunch of crap and I think I took it out on him because he was nice. I didn't really give him a chance and that was not his fault, it was mine.
I wasn't going to go hang out with him yet because I had to make sure Aimee was prepared to go back to school tomorrow. She said she was ready and that I shouldn't worry but I still would. She did well at the party though before and after Riley's encounter so I believed her.
Only our father had come home that evening and he had brought us home donuts from the local bakery downtown. He always in the past had brought home donuts to us as a way to persuade or get us to do something we didn't want to.
"There's my favorite girls," he grinned at us with the box in his hand. "I hope you girls like donuts!"
"You know we love those donuts." Aimee got up from the couch grabbing the box from him and inhaling deeply. "What's the catch?" She eyed him cautiously as he chuckled.
"Can't I just bring my favorite girls their favorite donuts?" I rolled my eyes and went to stand next to Aimee with my hands on my hips.
"Not unless you want something from us." I searched his eyes and he pursed his lips looking to the ground.
"I just thought you'd like to have something sweet before hearing something sour." He admitted and Aimee flipped open the box with a sigh.
"Well let me stuff my face." She walked over to the kitchen and I followed her grabbing paper towels on the way.
"What's the news?" I asked looking to him and his face became solemn. I reached over and grabbed a donut knowing damn well it wasn't going to prepare me for what he was going to say.
"You girls are moving in with me, starting next week."