Since Birth

Chapter Twenty Six

The week began to run its course of normalcy. Not completely because Aimee hadn't returned yet, but I felt like I wasn't being eyed by everyone as much. People had still given me pity of course but it didn't become the topic of conversation with every chat.
It was Friday now and I felt I had accomplished my goal of trying to get things back to normal. Home was not normal nor would I think it ever will but school had been. I still was running solo but I didn't care. I had been putting most of my energy and time with Aimee. We've talked about the future and how things will eventually go back to how they were. She wasn't ready to talk about what had happened but we did go for a walk outside. It was the small things that we had to focus on right now. She was doing better. She was making progress.
I hadn't seen Nolan since Monday and I hadn't made any eye contact or small talks with Mr.Holland. I figured we were just going to forget anything between us had happened. He didn't try and talk with me either so it seemed mutual. I began to realize the more I thought about it that we could never be together. It was a fantasy I had drawn up in my head because I felt alone. It could never happen and so we just have to be over it. It was just a stupid crush..
my parents also began talking with lawyers to press charges on Sean. Me and Aimee were against it but they had already made up their minds about it.
But it was Friday now and I just wanted to have a full weekend with my sister. I was trying to convince her now that going to see a therapist was the right idea but she was being stubborn about it. I knew she wanted to put it all behind her but everything that had happened would just be stuck in her mind. She would suffer and I didn't want that. I even started looking at potential therapist for her but she'd always drop the conversation. I just had to remain patient.
"Hey Em," I was walking to lunch to just grab it and go. Sitting in the cafeteria now sucked because I had no one to sit with anymore. I just went to have lunch in my car everyday just so my health didn't decline. But now Trevor was running after me. "Emelie." He came up beside me panting. We hadn't spoke since my sister had told him off.
"Hey Trevor." I looked at him briefly but continued to walk.
"Could we talk?" He asked and stopped walking so I did as well with a sigh.
"What do we have to talk about?" I shrugged turning to look at him.
He looked over my face and ran his fingers though his hair nervously. "I just really need to apologize for what happened between us. It's just not what I wanted to happen. You're one of my best friends and I messed that up by being a piece of shit." He sighed and shoved his hands in his pockets. "I did exactly what I didn't want to do and that was hurt you. I am so sorry Em."
"Don't worry about it." I said halfheartedly and his jaw clenched tightly trying to read into my words. They definitely weren't genuine.
"Um," he scratched his head confused. "Not sure if you're interested but having a party tomorrow night for Halloween. It's late but everyone always likes to have an excuse to dress up and party." He shrugged and sighed looking over me. "I hope you come." He nodded and I nodded too just to make it even more awkward.
"I'll try and make it." I looked down to the ground and he sighed again.
"Alright, see you." He placed his hand on my shoulder and then walked away. I shut my eyes for a moment and then continued in my path. I wasn't hungry anymore so I had just went to go sit in the library. I hadn't been here yet all year so the librarian was very surprised to see me.
"Nice to see you this year Emelie." She smiled and continued to work. I smiled back and didn't respond as I walked to the comfy chairs to sit. I forgot how relaxing it was and quiet. I could be completely alone and unbothered.
I sunk down into the chair sighing relieved that there was an escape other than my car here. This year so far had been nothing but treacherous and full of many obstacles. It was nothing like my past years and I think it was all because I wanted to make a change. Was it really all my fault that this year was going south?
"Aren't you the girl who's sister almost got murdered?" I opened my eyes and looked to the voice that was sitting across from me. A girl I don't think I had ever met before. I looked to her puzzled and she waved her hand through the air saying, "Sorry is that not kosher to say? I should probably work on my people skills." She laughed to herself leaning forward but I still gave her the same look.
"Are you kidding?" I asked becoming defensive. "That's how you introduce yourself to others? Asking them a very intrusive question?"
"I'm sorry." She sighed. "You're right, that was messed up for me to say. I guess I am just interested. I'm sorry." She said again and sat back. "I'm Leigh, I'm a weird person."
"Emelie." I smiled politely and sat forward. "And yes, my sister is in recovery."
"Is she ready to come back to school yet?" She asked pushing her hair from her face. She had a pixie cut with a lot of hair on the top that fell over her eyes. She constantly kept moving it from her face like it was a nuisance but I couldn't help but think she enjoyed it being there. She was really tiny but wore a baggy sweater to hide it. Her nails were painted but chipped all across the board. She had big almond eyes but I wasn't sure the color. Freckles that decorated her face completely which is probably why she had bangs that came down across them. She really seemed like the insecure type.
"She's supposed to be back next week." I nodded giving her a small smile.
"I'm sure it was a scary few weeks for you. Even still, that guy is still out there." She grabbed her black bag from the side of the chair and began to ruffle through it. "I was reading about it a lot and tried to make some connections-"
"Please," I stopped her holding up my hand. "I don't want to think about it. It's the job of the investigators to find the man, not mine."
She pouted and began to backtrack by shoving her things back in her bag. "In sorry, its rude of me to overstep though I do it anyways." She got up from the chair sighing. "I should've asked if you were comfortable discussing it. Sorry to have bothered you." She turned away and I began to feel bad.
"No," I tried to stop her and backtrack myself. "I shouldn't be so harsh when I'm fresh out of friends." I chuckled nervously and she turned back to look at me.
"I promise I won't bring it up unless you're ready to talk about it." She sat back down and sighed relieved. "I've been having a hard time keeping friends myself. It sucks that when you need them most they sorta disappear." She gave a laugh and looked over my face. "You seem like such a kind hearted person it's hard to believe you have no friends."
"A lot of drama." I shrugged biting my lip gently. "Turns out I just had to come to the library to find some." She smiled big and got all giddy.
"The library is my favorite place! Being surrounded by books and silence- it's a great escape." I nodded in agreement remembering the times I had come here granted it was with my sister, Riley and Kyla. We'd choose books to binge read like a book club almost. It used to be simple then..
"Hey Leigh." My eyes shot up to see Nolan creeping beside her. He noticed it was me and I blushed as he smiled. "Emelie," he laughed nervously and I cowered tucking my hair behind my ear.
"Funny, you two know each other?" Leigh looked from the both of us and I nodded.
"Random encounters." I said too quickly and he smirked.
"Yeah, completely random." He sat on the arm of Leigh's chair and I kept blushing thinking about our kiss.. It was weird that I hadn't seen him or heard from him but that's because we don't have each other's numbers. I knew so little about him yet. He was confusing and irregular... Mystical? Mysterious? I wasn't sure but it drew me in.
"Finally we've crossed paths during school hours." I looked up to him biting my lip. "Unfortunately I have class next." I got up from the chair brushing off my pants. "It was nice to meet you Leigh." I smiled down to her and walked forward being grabbed gently by Nolan as I did.
"We should chat later." He said sliding his hand down my arm and letting go.
"You know where to find me." My heart was racing but I tried to remain confident. I'm sure he already noticed my shyness though.
"Yeah." Was all he said and I kept walking, quickly out of the library. What the hell was his deal?
I carried on with my day being a lone wolf. I was really excited to have Aimee return because then and only then would things be normal again. She was the missing piece... I was ready to go home and see her come seventh period but gym class came and went. I was in my way to leave when I was surprisingly stopped by Mr.Holland.
"Ms. Meyer." He smiled coming towards me. "Was wondering if you were up for a tutoring gig." He was being normal I think.
"Um, actually I think I should get home. I have plans and I don't want Aimee to get upset." I put my arms around myself uncomfortably. I wasn't really sure how to go about this with him.. I thought it was just best to ignore it.
"It would be tomorrow." He straightened himself and looked down to me. It was a bit overwhelming.. I was feeling very overwhelmed by this encounter.
"I'll let you know." I finally said looking away from him. "I just have a ton of plans."
"It's no problem if you can't, just let me know." I nodded avoiding his stares and getting goosebumps from this. I just wasn't sure how to handle this. I didn't think that far ahead.. so when the moment came I had bolted for the door.
I couldn't believe how uncomfortable that had been. I spent a moment sitting in my car before driving home just shaking my head at myself and hitting the steering wheel. How could I have been so stupid? It really was my fault that this year was going to shit...
Aimee was cooking when I got home and she seemed to be in good spirits. "I guessed that you probably haven't eaten lunch so I made you a grilled buffalo chicken wrap." She greeted me without even looking up to me. "Extra greens and panini pressed to perfection." She looked up to me and smiled big picking up the plate to show me her work proudly. "It's really good Em." I walked over laughing and smiling to her.
"When did you become my house wife?" I grabbed the plate from her which also had a pile of vegetable chips beside the wrap. It smelt good and spicy. "Mmm." I moaned sitting right in front of her to enjoy the wrap. "Thank you for this."
"I also had given it more thought and figured therapy wouldn't be a bad idea. I think it'd be best for both of us actually." She grabbed a plate for herself and sat beside me. "If I want to get back to normal, I should go right?"
"Yeah I mean, it wouldn't hurt to Aimee." I took a bite of the wrap and was really surprised at how good it was. Maybe her staying home wasn't such a bad idea.. It was a suggestion made by her so she didn't have to face her peers and be the victim again..
"I also left the house today with mom to get groceries." She had her mouth full of chips when she spoke, chewing them in between words. "I don't think I can do things alone anymore." She laughed shaking her head begotten looking to me. "Speaking of, you haven't hung out with Riley for a while, what's up with that?"
"I'm a lone wolf now." I looked down to my plate shrugging. "I guess we are growing apart." I didn't want to tell her the real reason. She already had enough to worry about.
"Trevor told me about his party tomorrow night and if nothing is really going on between you and Riley, I hope you don't mind being around her as we get ready tomorrow."
I looked up to her sharply cutting my eyes as I asked, "Are you sure you're ready for that?" I looked over her and she shrugged smirking.
"I figured a little booze would help ease my way back into seeing my peers." She took another bite of her wrap and shrugged again. "It'll be okay, another step forward."
"Aimee that's a leap." I corrected her becoming concerned. "I don't want you to-"
"I'll be fine." She cut me off looking to me. "I prepared myself for this already." She rolled her eyes and then looked beside her saying, "look, I even bought our costumes!" It was hard to say no to that smile.. But I was still worried. She did need to get out of the house but a Halloween party? Everyone would be dressed up and hiding their identity with make up.. That guy was still out there..
"How about we run it by mom and dad?" It was a compromise. If they gave the ok, it couldn't be that much of a risk.
She groaned but nodded in response. "Its ultimately my decision but sure, bring them into this."
"I'm just thinking about your safety." I reminded her not really wanting to remind her that he was still out there. Instead I drew my lips into a hard line before continuing to finish my lunch. I didn't want to argue with her. If she was ready, I couldn't stop her. I told her I would be supportive.
We finished up our lunch and cleaned up the kitchen which was a mess. I was glad that hadn't changed about her. We began to tidy up the living room too when the doorbell rang.
"I got it." I told her and jogged to go get the door. I opened it and saw Nolan with a grey beanie covering his head but not his bangs, they managed to escape.
"Hey." Finally managed to escape my lips after I stopped ogling him.
"Do you have a minute?" He asked and I nodded moving out of the way.
"Come in, please." He moved inside and I tucked my hair behind my ear closing the door behind him. "Aimee this is Nolan." I turned towards them both pouting towards him for Aimee.
"Nice to finally meet you." He stepped towards her and shook her hand. "I hope I'm not interrupting?" He turned to look at me while Aimee in the back waggled her eyebrows trying not to laugh.
"No, we just had lunch." Aimee answered for me clearing her throat. "Feel free to take it upstairs." She nodded. "I'm sure you two have some catching up to do."
He chuckled to her and smiled at me nodding. "We do." He said and my cheeks grew hot.
"It'll only be a moment." I looked to Aimee before ushering Nolan up the stairs. I could still hear her snickering but chose to ignore it.
I showed him to my room clearing my throats before I spoke next. "This is my room, what's up?"
He laughed at my sentence composition before taking a step towards me. "I'm sorry I ghosted." He but his lip gently and clicked his tongue. "I didn't mean to. I just had a lot on my mind and had to sort some stuff out before returning to you."
"No, it's okay really." I nodded looking over his face. "I've been busy with Aimee and getting things back to uh, normal." I looked him up and he nodded.
"I disappear a lot, I hope you'll get used to that." He took a breath stepping towards me again and I did a three sixty around him laughing nervously.
"Yeah," I stopped in front of my bed shrugging. "It's all good."
"I'm really not looking for a relationship right now but I do enjoy your company a lot." Oh of course, no boy wants to go out with me..
I frowned but nodded looking away from him. "Well, I am looking for someone I can be with." I looked him up and he was a bit taken aback. I hope I didn't come off as a witch. I just have been wanting a relationship not random hookups.
"Then I won't waste your time." He pursed his lips together. "I shouldn't have kissed you, it wasn't fair or okay. I like you, I figured it was now or never you know?"
"Well we can obviously be friends Nolan." I blank several times unsure how to appease this situation.
"Yeah, obviously." His eyes fell down my face, unsuspectingly to my lips and back up to my eyes longingly.
"Yeah." I took a step towards him feeling that compelling energy I had felt once before near him. Remembering how amazing our first kiss had felt and how much right now I wanted that.
He stepped towards me again closing in the space between us now. "Can I kiss you again?" He asked and I didn't hesitate to nod. I think I had nodded a little too eagerly. How could I say no? The sparks were there!
Our lips collided with ease and a familiar rhythm. We were kissing at a more progressive rate because now there was nothing between us. His fingers tangled up in my hair pulling me into him and ridding of the rest of the space. I wasn't so sure about him... I had no idea what his end goal was with me or how we even ended up in this situation. I knew nothing about him besides his name and that he sucked dearly at math. I think that's what made kissing him more exciting.. There was really no attachments, just fun.
His hands moved down to my waist as mine rested on his chest and then up around his neck. My mind was so wrapped up in this feel good moment that I did not care what happened next. I felt ready for anything.
He pulled my hips gently towards his as my lips parted trying to deepen the kiss. Instead he pushed me back on my bed forcing me to sit and look up to him. My breathing was erratic as I looked up to him.
"What is this?" I asked quietly and he looked over my face stepping towards me.
He reached out running his fingers across my cheek giving me chills. He leaned down to me brushing his thumb over my bottom lip and staring into my eyes.
"I want to ruin you." He said furrowing his brows and looking over my face. "I want to rid you of this innocence preserving your mind and thoughts." I looked up to him like I had been in a trance or something. Taking in every word he was saying to me. Feeling bumps raise on my skin the more he talked. "I want to destroy the walls you've built around your raw and true self." He studied me for a moment, searching my eyes for answers. "I know you have a bad side, I'm just wondering what it'll take to bring it out of you."
I began to frown shaking my head confused. "No." I looked away from his gaze. "You should go." I got up from my bed trying to shake my mind from the thoughts. "Seriously." I looked up to him and he still smiled.
"I'm sorry, did I scare you?" He asked and I shrugged confused. I had no idea what he had done. I just knew that this was over.
"Nolan." I warned and his smile disappeared.
"I'm sorry," he shut his eyes tightly swallowing hard. "I took it too far."
"I'm not some evil being waiting to be unleashed, I'm a normal girl with a ton of weird experiences." I held my head being reminded of my exploration with Aidan.. How I had felt then.. and now feeling like an alien inside my own room.
"Sorry Em." He grabbed his hat from the floor and cleared his throat. "It won't happen again." He balled up his hat and gave me a smile before leaving. I fell back on my bed staring up at the ceiling confused as all get out. What did he mean by that? What kind of sick twisted fantasy had he been playing out in his head?