The dorm (gerard way x reader)

7

A week has gone by and we barely have one song done, it still has no name and doesn't have drumline or official bass line but the guitar riffs and lyrics we have so far are turning out okay. I usually dislike the way my content turns out but this one turned out to be one that I'm actually proud of calling my own.

We were discussing new song ideas when Gerard approached our group, "hey, (y/n), can I talk to you for a second?"

I turned and looked at the confusion on my band members' face when this seemingly random guy walked up to us, "Guys, this is Gerard my roomate, Gerard, these are my band members, Zach, Luke, Kevin and Awsten." I introduced them all as they all quickly greeted each other.

"So, uh, can I talk to you?" Gerard asked again, standing awkwardly and shifting his weight from one foot to another.

"Yeah, sure," I turned to my band members, setting down my guitar on its stand and my notebook on my chair, "I'll be back in a minute."

I followed Gerard out of the class and leaned against the wall, "So, uh, what do you want to talk about?" I asked feeling a little nervous because how he asked to talk to me.

"uhh, that day that you got the news about your uncle and you cried, you locked yourself in the bathroom for a while and I wanted to know if you did anything?" He asked progressively getting quieter towards the end.

" 'Did I do anything' ? I don't understand what you're saying, Gee."

"Yeah, um... this might be a bit triggering so I'm sorry in advance," he sighed and paused for a second, "I don't know how to ask..."

"Just ask me directly." I was starting to get annoyed.

He blinked in surprise but kept his composure, deadpanning "oh, well I wanted to ask if you harmed yourself in any way that day," he was clearly annoyed at my reaction, "but I don't think it matters anymore." And with those bitter words, he walked away, leaving me standing in the hallway with a lot of questions.

How did he know I had hurt myself?

My head was going insane, questions were going around my brain. I was trying to make sense of what he asked.

I shake all of the previous conversation off and walk back inside with a smile plastered on my face in an attempt to pretend nothing ever happened. I sat down in my place and all the guys were staring at Me.

"Are you okay?" Asked Awsten.

I was kind of zoned out so Awsten had to snap his fingers in front of my face so I would answer him, "huh?" I finally looked up and everyone looked concerned, "Yeah, I'm fine."

"What did you two talk about out there?" Awsten questioned me, he cocked his head to the side as if he was a confused and curious puppy.

"Something personal." I slightly snapped back, "can we get back to song writing?"

"Yeah, okay." He answered quietly, clearly taken aback by my snappy mood.

I sat in my place staring at a blank notebook for most of the class, my thoughts where jumbled up so I decided to leave class as soon as the bell rang. I didn't wait for anyone and I ran out of that place for my next class. I was zoned out for most of my classes and when I wasn't, I sat there doodling away in my sketchbook.

I began to get panicked slightly, my breathing began to shorten and my heartbeat was drumming hard in my ears. Why the fuck am I having a panic attack right now? Calm down, you're fine.

I saw a blob of white hair come up to me, it was all a blur but I could tell it was Gerard because of the white hair. "Breathe with Me, (Y/n). Breathe with me. Listen to my voice. Focus on that. Level out your breathing with me. You can do this. Breathe with me."

After a chorus of calming words from Gerard, I managed to calm down and wiped my tears. Gerard pulled me into a hug and started to run his hands through my hair. I finally managed to return to a normal state and be able to breathe normally, and he let go of me, still keeping a hand on my shoulder.

"(y/n)?" He asked softly, I looked up at him. "do you want to go back to the dorm so you can clean up?"

I nodded and made grabby hands at him. He helped me up and I clinged onto his side and buried my face in his shoulder so no one would see my red and puffy eyes. I felt my knees go weak under me and they hit the ground, making me walk slightly shaky. "I'm sorry." I said below a whisper but he still heard it.

"Why are you sorry?" He replied quietly.

"I snapped at you and yet you're still here helping me and taking me to the dorm," I had to speak louder because my voice was muffled by his chest.

"It's okay, it's kind of partially my fault too."

"It's not."

"It is."

"Let's not argue about this," I said softly.

"Okay, let's not. But it's not your fault, okay? It's alright, I'm not mad."

After he walked with me with his arms  wrapped around me, I finally felt better. When we reached the dorms he picked me up and held me against him.

"Gerard, put me down." I said sternly. He wouldn't budge and instead he tightened his grip on me, refusing to let me go.

"No." He picked me up with ease and threw me over his shoulder

"Oh my god!" I sighed, "just put me down already." He still didn't want to give in. As an asshole move, he started to run with me still on his shoulder. He didn't drop me until he walked into our bedroom and just plopped me down on my bed and he sat on his own.

"Hey," I turned to look at him, "can I ask you something?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Can you tell me what triggered the panic attack?"

"Umm..." I trailed off nervously.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to," he shrugged.

"It's not that," I paused. "I just don't know why it happened, I think the conversation we had may have made me really anxious."

His face dropped, "I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you when we were talking earlier."

"It's okay, I know you didn't mean to." We sat in silence for a few minutes until I said, "I'm hungry."

Gerard snorted and got up from his bed, he walked over to mine and offered his hand out to me, I took it and got off my bed, "can I cook something?" I asked.

"Sure."

"It's going to be something Mexican and spicy so prepare yourself," I laughed.

"Okay then..."

I walked into the kitchen and started looking around for the appropriate ingredients. "Gerard! We don't have anything in the fridge except half a stick of butter."

"Guess we're going grocery shopping," he shrugged.

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it's the way I've been writing since middle school and still don't know how to end chapters properly