Why not me?

Telling each other everything

•Maddy's POV•

Jake lifted my head making me look into his eyes "Maddy tell me". I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I couldn't tell him. I just couldn't. I looked at Matt hoping he would be able to help me. "never mind" "no Madison you are telling me" "forget about it" "no Maddy we are talking about this." "Jacob please" I looked at him with tears in my eyes. "Fine later we are going to you will tell me" I'm just going to pray that he forgets. We decided to go to the pool again and I wore my black tribal bikini top with black bottoms. I put my hair up into a bun and wore my flip flops. mahogany wore this mint blue bathing suit. Matt knows about Mahogany but it's hard because he likes her. Matt has become my second Dylan. Not replacing Dyl but he reminds me of him. And Dylan's not here with me but I have matt. I miss Dyl but at least I've got Matt and Jake. I don't know what I'm going to say to jake. We went swimming and when we went back up Jake lifted my chin and said "maddy..... tell me." "Jake please." "Maddy no we have to talk" "but" "Maddy im sorry but you have to tell me." Mine kind of wished Matt was here. But at the same time don't. actually I want Dyl that's what I honestly want. "Maddy" jake lifted my head again. "do I really have to look you in the eyes when I say this." "Maddy" "okay okay fine. you really want to know. Truth is I'm really insecure.I feel like I'm not good enough. Mahogany is so pretty and skinny and everything else. I feel like I'm just an awkward potato. I Just feel like I'm not good enough. I feel like mahogany is so much better. is that what you wanted to hear? I hope it is because that hurt so much having to tell you." I said crying. jacob looked at me. he wiped my tears and said "Maddy your amazing. Mahogany and I are just friends and I will never have feelings for her. I'm sorry if you think that. And there's no reason for you to be insecure." "thanks but still I'm really insecure." "about what not having a thigh gap? Maddy there is nothing wrong with thighs touching." I almost cried when he said that. he leaned down and kissed my forehead. "is that what you wanted to hear?" I asked him. "that's what I needed to hear" he responded "good because it hurt telling you" "maddy you can tell me anything." "Jacob so what was up with the whole Matt thing?" I tilted his head down so he was looking me in the eyes. "jake." I said firmly. "Fine. I'm scared that you'll leave me. When Matt kissed your cheek I got overly protective and it felt like he cut me and pored rubbing alcohol on it. Ik scared of losing you Maddy you mean so much to me" "well don't worry about me. I love you so much." He leaned down and kissed me. "See it hurts having to tell you." "Trust me I know."