If Only You Knew (Troyler Fanfiction)

Chapter 1: My Happy Little Pill

Hi guys! This is my first ever fanfic so I really hope you like it!

Tyler's POV:

I had only been to one funeral in my entire life, I barley remembered it since I was only 7 at the time and it was a distant relative I had never met before. It was nothing like this, frankly no other experience could compare to this. There were hundreds of people just staring into space, looking lost and confused, the black attire covering their bodies. I wished I had made this an all purple funeral, my mom would've liked that. She always liked standing out, considering she referred to herself as Queen Jackie you can only imagine how extraordinary she was. I didn't even notice myself crying until I felt a tear fall onto the back of my hand. I quickly regained my composure; I couldn't break down, not here, not now. I needed to be strong for my mom, she wouldn't have wanted me to be sad. I went about, greeting my family, accepting the usual "I'm sorry for your loss" speeches, and trying to lighten the mood. It's so hard sometimes trying to be the one everyone turns to for a laugh or a supportive smile. It all just becomes too much at moments like this.

I begin to get lost in my thoughts until I hear a loud crash coming from the direction of the entrance. Instinctively turning my head to see what caused the rather obnoxious noise in the quiet room I see a tall boy staring over a broken flower pot with a bright red face. I couldn't contain myself and soon my even more obnoxious witch cackle fills the room when I see the klutz trying to put together the already broken pot. He immediately looks up and flashes me a toothy smile from across the room, embarrassment filling his icy blue eyes. God how I loved his eyes, I constantly got lost just staring into the different shades of blue that twinkled in the light, they were especially bright from the sun pouring in through the stained glass windows and I didn't complain.

"S-sorry Ty, I'm not really used to this whole church thing." He stutters as he approaches me, staring at the floor still obviously embarrassed.

"Well you always did know how to make an entrance Sivan." I say giving him his signature wink.

"But I really am sorry, Ty if you ever need anything just know I'll always be here for you" As Troye says this I feel his arms wrap around me and I've never felt happier in my entire life.

"Thank you Troye, honestly just the fact that you flew around the world to come to a shitty snow covered state all for me means the world to me. I can't thank you enough." I didn't expect any of my YouTube friends to come to the funeral honestly, I figured they would be too busy, especially Troye. He had his EP coming out soon and still had to record and film his music videos. He really needed to get a hold on his procrastination.

"How could I not be here for my best friend?" He looks down at me with those big blue eyes and I can't even remember how to speak. If anyone else had such big eyes I swear they would look like a freak, but they looked perfect on Troye.

Get it together Tyler, you're at your mother's funeral for God's sake, stop thinking about Troye for 5 minutes. It's not healthy to be this in love with someone, especially when that someone is 19 and lives on the other side of the world, but I can't help it. He just takes away all my pain with just a simple hug. He makes all my insecurities disappear with just a simple compliment. He makes me laugh like no one has ever made me laugh before. He can take the worst day of my entire life and still make it bearable all by being beside me. I'm in love with everything about him, I don't know what I would do without him. I didn't think the age difference was that bad, I mean it was legal and Ive seen couples 10 years apart that were still happy. It's the distance that really got to me, do you know what it's like to have the one thing that makes you smile not able to talk to you all day because of time zones, to not be able to hold the only person you care about because they live thousands of miles away, to only get to see the most important thing to you only a handful of times a year? Well it fucking sucks, but given the choice I wouldn't change anything about my feelings for Troye. He was absolutely worth the sleepless nights and the pain I felt when I had to end the Skype calls. He was worth all of the scheduling changes I made so I could talk to him more. He was worth everything I went through, because even if I only got to see him smile with his teeth once it was worth it, even if I only heard one word come out of his mouth in his perfect accent it was worth it, even if he only looked at me it was worth it. I was addicted to this boy, and frankly I don't care. He makes life worth living. He is my happy little pill.

Coming back to reality I see a pair of fingers snapping anxiously in my face and a pair of worried eyes staring at me. Damn him and his undeniably perfect eyes.

"What?" I stare at Troye confused about what just happened.

"I asked if everything was ok Tilly, you just blanked out and I just didn't-" He cuts himself off for fear he would say too much.

"Oh, yeah don't worry Troye I'm fine. Just thinking that's all." I say, completely truthful, just not revealing exactly what I was thinking about.

"Do you need anything? Are you sure you're okay?" Troye asks while rubbing my back keeping me from breaking down, I probably would be if it wasn't for him. It's amazing how much he cares about other people, he's so selfless. Shit Tyler stop thinking about him, you have more important things to do right now then drool over a certain Aussie.

"Wait Troye, actually I need to ask you something."

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Why hello there everyone<3

Thank you so much for reading, if you liked it or hated it please leave a comment, I really need some feedback haha

AND TROYLERS FINALLY REUNITED SO LETS CELEBRATEEE

Anyways have a lovley day and or night

-Kelsey<3