If Only You Knew (Troyler Fanfiction)

Chapter 6: You're All I Need

Troyes POV

I didn't care if Tyler wanted me to leave, I wasn't going to. I couldn't just walk out while my best friend was alone in a bathroom surrounded by pills. I wasn't going to lose him, I couldn't lose him. I needed Tyler in my life and whether he wanted me there or not I planned on staying.

"I'm never going to leave Tilly, I promised and I don't break my promises." As soon as I say this Tyler just looks away. I have never felt more hurt in my entire life. I guess he really didn't want me in his life.

"Troye you can't be here now. I was perfectly fine until you came in here and tried to play superman. Stop trying to save me, I don't need you and honestly I don't want you." He said this with no emotion, and I felt the pain shooting through my chest. My heart started to race and I couldn't catch my breath. Tyler didn't want me anymore.

"Tyler, I honestly don't care what you want right now. I'm not leaving. Hate me all you want, push me away, and don't ever look at me again, I don't care. But I will not leave you here alone. You're my best friend for Christ's sake, I can't lose you." I meant every word.

I needed Tyler more than anyone could ever know. Without him who would talk to me all night on Skype? Without him who would make me laugh until I felt like crying and I couldn't feel my stomach? Without him who would I go on adventures with? Tyler was the only person I'd ever cared about this much. He wasn't going to leave with me here and I was prepared to do anything to make him smile again.

"Get out Troye. Do you not understand English? I told you to get the fuck away from me, so why are you still here?" He just stared at me and his eyes were empty, it looked like he was already dead. I couldn't stand to see him like this.

Instead of responding I went to hug him, but before I could hold him in my arms he pushed me away. Tyler had never pushed me away before.

"Troye I'm not fucking kidding. Get out of this house now or I'll call the fucking cops and have you arrested for trespassing." After he said this he looked away, why was he pushing me away like this?

"Then fucking call them. I'd rather go to jail trying to protect you then lose you. Tilly I don't know what happened back at the funeral but we can get through this."

"That's right Troye, you have no idea what happened. And no, we won't be able to get through this, I can't bring my mother back from the dead and I can't take back the past 2 months of my pathetic life. It's my fault she's dead. I might has well have stabbed her with my own goddamn hands."

"Tyler Oakley. What the hell are you taking about? You did everything you could to help her. This is not your fault. It was her time to go, I know you're upset but hating yourself and attempting to commit suicide isn't the answer. I don't know exactly how you're feeling but I do know that it will get better. Jackie may be gone but she loved you so much. Nobody could've saved her, not you, not me, not the doctors. There was only so much we could do, but she had a wonderful life while she was here. And that was all because of you."

After I said this he finally turned back to face me. This time his eyes weren't empty, they were filled with so much emotion. I could see tears starting to form and a small drop fall from his eye, running down his cheek. I leaned in to wipe it away and as soon as I touched his cold skin he began to relax.

"It's all going to be okay. We can get through this. Together." Right after I said this he jumped into my arms and began to sob.

"I'm so sorry Troye, I'm so sorry." I could hear the pain in his voice as he said this.

"Babe look at me." He looked up at me with those sad eyes that made my heart break. "Don't you ever apologize to me. Please just don't try anything like this again. I need my Tilly."

"I need you too Troye." He nuzzled his face into my shoulder and we just stayed like that for a while. Every so often I would hear a faint whimper come from him, but when this happened I just squeezed him tighter and told him it was all going to be alright.

"Troye, can I ask you something?"

"Of course Tilly, what is it?" I wasn't ready for what he had to say. I didn't know if he was going to ask me to leave again and I couldn't handle being pushed away by the only person in the world that I care about.

"Do you hate me now?" He said just above a whisper. I couldn't believe what I just heard, how could he think I hated him? I could never hate him.

"Tyler that is the stupidest thing I have ever heard in my entire life. I could never hate you, why would you even think something like that?"

"Well I kind of just told you to leave or else I would get you arrested and that I never wanted to see you again." He wasn't looking at me now.

Putting a finger on the bottom of his chin and pushing his head up so I could look him in the eyes I responded, "You could tell me that you wanted me to fall off a cliff and rot in hell and I still wouldn't hate you. You could tell me that you never wanted to see my pathetic face anywhere near you and that you would kill me if I ever tried to speak to you again and I still wouldn't hate you. You could never make me hate you. I don't care what you said, it's in the past. Right now all that matters is that I have you beside me."

After I said this I saw a small smile start to spread across his face. I missed that. I hated seeing him sad, I never wanted that smile to leave his face.

"You look cute when you smile, you should do it more often." I tease him, causing his face to turn a bright shade of red. The Tyler Oakley was blushing, he never blushed. Just thinking about the fact that I made him blush made me grin.

We just sat there for a while, trying to sneak glances of each other then quickly turning away when either one of us go caught.

"Well I don't know about you but I'm getting sick of sitting on an uncomfortable bathroom floor so I'm going downstairs, care to join me?" This was the first thing Tyler had said in a while and I was just glad he was slowly getting back to his usual self.

"I thought you'd never ask." Slowly getting up I feel my shirt start to shift and slip down my torso. Shit I had forgotten that I ripped it climbing through the window.

"Having some trouble?" Tyler can barely make out the words before erupting into a fit of laughter. I was convinced that he was going to stop breathing he was laughing so hard at me.

"I know I'm no Channing Tatum but you don't have to laugh at me." I say, starting to pout. Why couldn't I be muscular and fit and hot like other guys?

"You're right, you are nowhere near Channing Tatum." He says but just as he walks out of the door he turns around and adds, "You're a thousand times hotter."

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Hi guyss!!

So that was kind of intense but now its all better:)

Vote/coment if you liked it and thank you so much for reading!

-Kelsey<3