Caught in a Lie ~ h.s.

♕ XIV ♕

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I spent the remainder of my day cooped up in my room, avoiding anyone and everyone. My mother and father were both less than pleased to hear that I had skipped out on the reading, how they found out so soon was beyond me. I continued to play the ill card throughout the rest of the day, which wasn't too hard to play because I did feel incredibly sick... sick with guilt.

Charlotte tried to help, but I simply shrugged her away and gave her the rest of the day off. Niall even tried to help, but I, too, sent him away. In the end it was Gwen and her reassuring voice over the telephone that got me to calm down.

She was understanding whilst listening to the play-by-play of the morning events, allowing me to cry out in agony whilst she merely comforted me with whispers of my name it's going to be alright. She told me I was allowed to feel the way I do, both the guilty part of me and the want to be happy part of me.

"And do you know what else? It's okay to be selfish once and a while, love. You have so many pressures put on you all the time, no one should have to deal with the things that you do, but it's life. Mabel, you do whatever you're told, you go to these boring åss meetings and meet with these boring åss people. When was the last time you did what you wanted to do? You're going to be queen one day and you won't have time to be selfish, so you need to do it now. You need this, you need to be happy."

I had been catering to everyone's needs around me for years, never taking into account what I really wanted to do or who I wanted to see. In the end it was also my sister that convinced me to call up Harry and just talk with him, to get my mind off this morning, and maybe plan a date for us in the future. Gwen did say she was returning by next Monday, meaning hopefully our next date would happen sooner rather than later.

I was hesitant to call him, still am, as I sit idly by my pristine phone in my hands. As soon as I locked myself away in my room I changed from my uncomfortable outfit into something casual. Long gone is the pencil skirt and blouse, now leggings and an oversized tee cover my slightly chilled body. My knees are pulled to my chest, my chin resting atop the knobs of my knees, and my eyes gazing holes into the phone. It lights up with a notification from my calendar, reminding me of a appointment I have in the morning, but it's otherwise quiet and unresponsive. I almost wish Harry was the one to call me, perhaps it would be less nerve-wracking. But with one final deep breath and encouraging word to myself I settle that it's time. Harry doesn't give me time to calm myself, for he answers the phone after the first ring.

"Hey, I was just thinking about you." His words bring an immediate smile to my lips, a smile that's been lost for the majority of the day. I love that with a few simple words he can change my mood like the snap of two fingers together.

"You were, were you."

"Can I tell you a secret?" I don't answer, but he takes it as his cue to tell me anyway. "I don't think there's a second of my day when I'm not thinking about you." My heart races, blood pumping at a ridiculous speed throughout my body, rushing to my cheeks especially. I hate that I love the effect he has on me.

"You're too sweet. If I'm being honest though, you're not the only one."

As hard as I try to push Harry to the back of my mind when I'm in meetings, speaking with other members of royal families or delegates, or even simply having a meal with my family, the thought of him is always swirling around in my brain. Little things remind me of him, like his copy of Crazy Rich Asians on my bookshelf or whenever we have fish for a meal I think of our fish and chips date, then the activities that occurred shortly afterwards. The thought of him alone can bring a smile to my lips at any given point in the day. Thinking about him right now almost distracts me completely from the way I was feeling this morning.