It's been hours in which I just cried, dialed the same number over and over again. Leaving messages after messages which probably didn't even reached him. I knew he was mad and needed space but I couldn't let him believe that I really meant what I said. "Jooheon it's me again. I know I'm...I should leave you alone but I can't. Jooheon I really didn't meant the words you heard. You miss understood the whole situation. It's hard to believe but it's true! Please you have to believe me. Jooheon I can't ev..." *beep* I took a deep breath. There is no way it's over. No way! I'm gonna wake up and it will all be fine. I closed my eyes which caused my eyes to burn. I've been crying for too long. The rain hammered against the window and the night took over. I drifted off to sleep.
The next morning my eyes looked horrible. They were red and the bags underneath didn't really helped me to look better. I brushed my hair but of course it was a bad hair day. They still looked like a bird tried to build a nest. I brushed my teeth and went to Kyoto.
Should I look for Jooheon? He probably told his friends all about it. Oh no! His friends. Kihyun! His words came into my head again. He will kill me! I should have stayed at home. I took a deep breath.
There he was! And alone. I walked straight up to Jooheon and tapped his arm.
"J-Jooheon I...I" He turned around. For a split second he looked worried. It's like he forgot that he was supposed to hate me. His hand slowly wandered up to my cheek. But before he touched me he lowered his hand and closed his eyes for a while. "Jooheon...I don't know if you got my messages.." "Nope. I deleted all of them." He said with a cold voice. Slowly I nodded. "Okay...well basically I just wanted to explain tha..." "I don't care Yuriko. I don't want to hear an explanation." I nodded again. "This is the last time I'm saying this. Leave me alone!" His voice was not angry or mad or anything. It was just cold and sharp like a knife. My lips started to shiver and I closed my eyes. I heard him walking away. Tears fighting their way into my eyes again. I shook my head and opened my eyes again. I noticed someone looking at me from the side. I turned my head and saw Jooheons friends. Minhyuk was the first who walked over to me. I raised my hand. "Please...haven't I've been punished enough? I know what you're about to say...You're going to make my life a living hell, I've hurt your brother again...whatever it is please come another time." My eyes couldn't hold back the tears anymore. "That's not what we wanted to say." Wonho said. "Well whatever it was I can't take it now. Kihyun already warned me. Now please just leave me alone." All eyes were on Kihyun who played innocent. I walked away while they questioned Kihyun. I need to go home! I'm not supposed to be here. But of course the devil wasn't done with me yet. "Well, well, well who do we have here. Little miss fighter." Ayumi stopped in front of me placing her hands on her hips. "Leave me alone." I walked passed her but she grabbed my arm. "Not as easy as you thought hm? Oh my he must really hate you." She shook her head. "Ah he's still the same. Gets angry so easily, so much hate deep inside that once it's out..." I ripped my arm out of her grip. "You! You made him this person! He's not who you think he is! And I will never and I mean never let you break him again! Now get the hell out of my way!" I pushed her away from me. She almost tripped but got catched by some strong arms. Arms that used to hold me. "Yuri what the hell are you doing?!" He yelled at me. Oh come on! Ayumi played the victim of course searching for protection behind him. "I just asked her if everything was alright and she pushed me!" She said to him. "What?! Are you kidding me?!" I yelled at her. Many heads turned into our direction. "What the hell is wrong with you?!" Jooheon said. I looked at him. He really thought that low from me? "Jooheon...She's lying!" I said. He laughed a little. "Unbelievable. Okay...listen Yuri. Why don't you do us all a favor and leave." He said and laid his arm around Ayumi. He walked away with her like I just almost killed her. What the hell is wrong with him?!
"Yuriko.?" It was Minhyuk again. "Save it! I'm going home!" I wanted to leave because everyone was looking at me and I was crying again. "No wait! Yuriko I'm not here to yell at you or anything because to be honest....I don't believe that you really said those things." I looked at him. "What?" I had to be sure I wasn't misunderstanding. "Jooheon told us what happened. I didn't believed him...actually we all didn't believe him. And now after what I just saw I know that you're not lying." He looked after Jooheon and Ayumi. "Why?" I don't know why I couldn't just let him believe me but I had to know what was up in his mind. "Why would you come to school no offense but looking like that, crying...if you were lying. That just doesn't add up." He smiled at me. I nodded. "Explain that to Jooheon" I said and shrugged. "I can't believe this. She seriously tricked me. I mean yes I said those words but I was just... I was asking her if she was the one who said those things about Jooheon to Changkyun. Do you know what I mean?" That was confusing. "I think so." he said. "What happened?" he asked and typed something on his phone. "Well she tricked me into saying those things and of course Jooheon was standing there only hearing the bad part. And she perfectly played along and made me look bad. And also just a second ago...yes I pushed her but not that hard and omg I hate her!" I wandered through my hair. "Okay, okay calm down. We'll figure this out." He seemed confident. "Why didn't he believed me? I mean...Why would I say those things?" I looked at them. Standing there talking, happily like nothing ever happened. Jooheon seemed like he completely forgot about me. "I don't know...but the most important part is...your not alone!" He gave me a hug. "Thanks Minmin" I leaned my head against his shoulder .
It was the middle of the night. Wide awake I laid in bed. I couldn't sleep, couldn't rest...not with the thought of Jooheon hating on me. I stood up walking to my closet. I had to get out.
The cold air made me shiver underneath my jacket. I kept walking and walking. Just like that one night. The night in which Jooheon showed me this rooftop. I decided to go there. After long walking I finally found it. I stepped inside the building. To my right there were the stairs we had to walk up last time. I sighed. Ugh right I forgot about those. I looked to my left and couldn't believe my eyes. A freaking elevator?! "I'll kill him!" I whispered to myself. I took the elevator to the top. The sight was as beautiful as last time. I walked to the edge of the roof and sat down. This is where Jooheon sat last time when he gave me his jacket and hoodie to sleep.
Oh my! I just can't stop thinking about him. His smile, his eyes, this lips on mine, his hands on me. The night of our first kiss. All those memories. I closed my eyes. I felt a cold breeze but somehow it felt nice. I stretched my arms like wings and took a deep breath. My head looking up to the sky. Suddenly two strong arms grabbed me and pulled me back. Off of the edge and onto the save ground. A loud scream escaped my mouth. I turned around. "Jooheon! What the hell! You scared the shit out of me!" I yelled at him. I couldn't even think about the fact why he was here but what the freaking hell got into his mind to scare me like that. "I scared the shit out of you?! You scared the shit out of me!" He let go of me and stood up. "I thought you wanted to jump!" He walked in circles clearly mad and scared at the same time. "Jesus!" He kicked a stone. "What?!" I looked at him. "Are you crazy? Why would I do that?!" I yelled. He stopped and looked at me. "What do I know!?" He said now much calmer than before. "Wow! I thought you knew me better than this..." I said disappointed. He really thought I was going to jump. "Well obviously not...otherwise I wouldn't have let myself get played by you." He said and there was the mad Jooheon again.
I shook my head and started walking. "HEY! Where are you going?" He shouted after me. "What do you care?" I said and turned towards him. "I've been trying and trying to explain what happened and you didn't even let me speak! I won't talk to you about this anymore." I wanted to continue my way back. "What?!" He was frustrated and mad and it was obvious. "You heard me. I've been hurt enough today I can't take it anymore." I said fighting my tears. "You've been hurt? What about me?! You let me believe you liked me but than... Do you have a single idea how much that hurts?" He said. I took a few steps towards him and smiled full of pain. "What truly hurts is...when the person you love doesn't believe you. That's what hurts. You could have just let me explain it to you but you didn't let me finish just one sentence." my voice was shaking and only a whisper.
The expression in his face changed so quickly. "What did you just said?" he looked at me. There was something in his eyes. "Did...D-Did you just said...that you...you love me?" he asked. His eyes were on mine, sticking like glue. My eyes widened. I didn't even realised that I just said that. "No I..." "You said the person you love." He repeated my words. "No I didn't! You misunderstood." I said. His eyes were full of pain. "Please Yuri! I-I need to know the truth. Do you...do you love me?" His voice was low on volume. He sounded tired and sad. I took a deep breath. "Okay yes! Yes Jooheon I...For god sake I love you! I love you more than anything else in this world. I loved you form the day you helped me up when I tripped with my bike. I didn't mind you were the first man I ever kissed because I love you. I defended my love for you when everyone else was against it! Yes! Yes I love you are you happy now! How dare you questioning me like that!" The tears found their way and were streaming down my face. Death silence surround us. I shook my head and ran back inside. I didn't even took the elevator. I just kept running down stairs after stairs. I needed to get away from him. From everything.
I wasn't sure if he followed me or if I actually wanted him to follow me. I just kept going until I was back home,save.
I never thought that this fight was going to be so hard. I didn't expect Jooheon to be like this.
Who ever Ayumi was back then, she had a major influence on Jooheon. He's not the person I used to know. I never expected him to miss trust me like that. Even his friends knew me better than he did.
But what ever it takes I'll take that B**** down!
And the worst part was I didn't even talked to Changkyun yet.
