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"Good night."
He tapped her cheeks lovingly as he stepped back from her and closed the door behind him, leaving her there standing in the warm autumn lit study, the place of literature, study, peace, and sleep for her. A safe place. The study had always been somewhere she could retreat to when times were tough, but only when Minseok wasn't involved. Back then, Jimin's place was something of a safe zone for her.
When she felt the sting on her cheeks too unbearable, she found comfort in the arms of her best friend.
She remembered the first time she walked into this house. The cold air embraced her, but with Minseok around, she was somewhat comforted and breathed easier knowing that she wasn't the only one living under this strange detached reality of a roof.
She remembered the first time she walked into this study. With him. The place contrasted everything that the house stood for. And this was the perfect place. The girl didn't consider her room to be her room but merely a huge walk-closet. The fact that this uncharted territory could give her relief and a sense of belonging was beyond this world.
The same could be said about Minseok.
She didn't know what she was walking into, but by the time she got there, she was more than happy and safe.
Jayoung backed away from the door slowly, each step wobblier than the last. Once she felt the frame of the windowsill touched the back of her knee, Jayoung gladly dropped herself onto the wooden platform, back pressed against the window behind her, feeling the raindrops hitting her back through the thin glass.
It finally rained after a long while. She could hear the turmoil happening outside.
Her heart raced. Her brained mushed. Her emotions were erratic. Her hands trembling.
She wanted to open that door and burst into his room, dragging him back down to lay on the windowsill with her. The girl never thought she felt this alone.
He's leaving.
Her hand came to her chest. Her lips sucked. Her eyes blinked back the tears.
But she couldn't hold it.
Not like this.
That night she poured her heart out to the silent pillow as much as the rain poured its tears through the dark and heavy clouds.
7:00 am.
"Jayoung-ah?"
She smiled at Minseok who was back in his business suit.
"Um, are you making something?"
The girl blinked, looking at what was the last thing she was doing, where to start. Then she noticed the whole kitchen was empty. She didn't even take anything out of the fridge. More or less made anything.
Jayoung wanted to fall back and stay home.
"Ah, I'm just... you know. Didn't have the right ingredient, so- no breakfast, I guess." But she knew this wasn't what she wanted to say. And he could tell. She had never made an excuse like this before. She had always made everything work as long as she had the kitchen.
She should be happy that he was here, but she just couldn't.
"Hey..."
She didn't even know he was approaching her slowly and already got a hold of her, her face hard against his beating chest. She sensed the comforting warmth radiating off his arms, his embrace, but it was still so hard to breathe. His little movements, patting her back, humming in just the way she liked it, being there for her.
The girl didn't know how long they were in that position, but she knew it wasn't going to last.
"Yo!" Hari snapped her out of it. The two friends were on the roof, looking down at the small students beneath. Some other students took the space of the rooftop, emerging in their own conversation.
"Um." The girl fell stiff, weak. Lips unable to form words.
"You want to talk?"
A slow blink of the eye was enough a message for Hari and so the girl just offered Jayoung the bread she bought from the cafeteria down below and eat together silently on the open rooftop.
"Chan." Jayoung ruffled the growing German shepherd's head cutely but could only go so far as to comb through the thickening fur; her strength had left her. Her body laid on the soft grass as she let Chan whimpered against her and nuzzled its nose at the nape of her neck, sensing the distress she was drowning in.
"Hello, Xing's child. Hello, Chan." Baekhyun sunbae popped into her vision, staring down with a bright smile on his face.
The man didn't say anything as he laid down beside her. Minutes passed and the girl found comfort in someone next to her breathing the air, understanding her and the cute innocent canine that was snuggling up to her.
"You know. Chan waits a long time for you." The beautiful voice sent a calming chill down her spine. "He's really looking for your attention. Play with him."
A brow raised and she stared at the man's bright bleached hair.
"It didn't matter how long he had to wait. What mattered to him is that you're here. Right now. No matter how short the time is."
"Why do I feel like you're not talking about Chan anymore?" that actually made her feel better. A weight lifted off her chest. A strange relaxing sense washed over her. Something about Byun Baekhyun.
"I'm not implying anything. I'm merely stating the fact. Now, play with Chan or else I'm taking him back."
With a small cry of 'no,' Baekhyun chuckled and rolled over with Jayoung to tell her about all the tricks he had taught the little puppy.
7:00 pm.
This time she was the one who was late. Minseok knew about her visit to the dog park and was more than happy to let her go.
She still felt numb after everything. She was ecstatic that Minseok was being such a gentleman and confessed to her and all, but she was just as devastated to know of his departure.
"Hey, you're home!" the pretty voice greeted her.
The girl was not ready for an image of a handsome man in his white shirt and a dark blue tie strolling around the kitchen with an apron on. The part that really killed her was when Minseok had to roll his sleeves the moment she was in his sight, a simple smile on his lips as he turned to flip whatever was in the frying pan.
Oh, no. My greatest weakness.
It was the two things she loved most. Cooking and Minseok. Perhaps she could eat her cooking and maybe Minseok–
Jayoung furiously shook her head when it drew the attention of the older man.
"Come, I'm making another one of grandma's famous dish." With the radish in between his chopsticks, Minseok held it out for her to eat. "Snack. You seem hungry."
She could barely keep eye contact as she felt her ears burned at his gentle voice, slowly dropping her bag and sitting down across the kitchen table. There was something satisfying when he made a humming sound effect once she leaned in to eat the little fresh square radish.
"Delicious?"
"Ne."
So with Baekhyun's words in her head, she sighed contently as Minseok patted her head for eating his food well and slept easier that night.
Maybe, if Minseok could go on this far through everything that happened for three years, she, too, could handle it with him for 22 months.
